FTC Disclosure: I got this shirt for $0. Everything else you see in these photos is mine.

Rita Arens Disclosure: No, I didn't dry my hair before embarking on this experiment.

So, does everyone know that Kristen Chase of Motherhood Uncensored fame (and also contributor to an awesome book called Sleep Is for the Weak) is the Mominatrix? She writes a sex column for mommies, oh, yes she does. And she's so good, she scored a book deal.

Coming in 2010, bitches.

So Kristen sent me a t-shirt and asked me to upload a photo of myself to her Mominatrix Flickr group. Sounds easy, right? How the hell do all these bloggers take photos of themselves?

 

Stolen from Amalah.

 

Stolen from Fussy.

 

And hello, Dolly, the Mominatrix herself.

I am a FAIL. So I need you to tell me which looks least asinine to upload for Mominatrix support. They are numbered.

 

1. Wow. That's not the right way to do it.

2. Yep, that's not right, either.

 

3. Casual? Not so casual. Clearly staged. Also? Where to look in the mirror? This sucks.

 

4. Still can't figure out where to look.

 

5. Maybe if I stuck out my chest more? My hand is SO BIG.

6. Stick out chest AND SMILE?  Still, nothing.

 

7. ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!

 

8. Eh?

9. Or eh?