Childhood constipation.

Yes, this post is about constipation.  You might want to just stop reading now.  It's not going to be for the faint of heart.

The little angel's favorite foods are, in order:  mac & cheese, milk, yogurt and bananas.  See a pattern here?  She also eats a lot of fiber, but it seems that her favorite foods are interfering with her digestive tract.

It just started a few months ago.  She would cry, and stare pathetically off into the distance as she grunt, grunt, grunted.  Then she would look at me with crocodile tears streaming down her face and utter one word:  "Poopy."

My best friend's mother once told me (when she witnessed one of these spells) that I should help her.  At the time, I was all "no way am I doing that.  NO WAY."  Then about two weeks ago, I had to do it.  She was so uncomfortable.  She was doing everything right, and alas, it was just not working.  I laid her down on the changing table to check for progress.

I saw it crown.

I thought NO.  There is NO WAY that I am doing it.

Then you know - I did.  I helped.  It was sort of like pulling baseball-sized modeling clay out of an eel.  It was the most disgusting and loving thing I have ever done in my entire life.  I was so grossed out that only watching my best friend pick up a decomposed mouse with a baggie when I was three months pregnant and very sick beats it out for Most Disgusting Event Ever.  But I did it, because I. Am. Her. Mother.  And this is the sort of thing that only a mother will do.

Last Tuesday, one of my students broke off in the middle of a group project to tell me about her three-year-old who had an X-ray to reveal an abdomen black with withheld waste.  I have no idea why she chose that time or me in general with whom to share this little tidbit, but it scarred me to the point that at the little angel's two-year appointment with the Benevolent Pediatrician, I inquired into whether or not they make Baby Metamucil.

Turns out, of course they do!

We bought some of this disgusting, brown Little Tummies stuff, and today, after a day and a half of No Poopy, I gave her the smallest amount.  The bottle said there would be lift-off in six to twelve hours.

I gave it to her at one when she woke up from her nap. It is now ten p.m.  No poopy yet.

I'm scared.  She ate beans, peas and peaches for dinner.

Scaaaaarreeed.  But hoping for poopy.