Oops.  My beloved and I both forgot that today is our anniversary. I mean, we've been discussing it all week. We did know it.  We just forgot this morning.  I had this nice card all ready to go, but did I lovingly hand it to him when we woke up?  No.  I ran downstairs to do Pilates before it was time to work.  I think the last thing he saw as he walked out the door was down-dog (which is not my best side).

So yes, four years ago was that day that I thought would be the happiest day of my life.  Kind of a limiting view, eh?  You get married, you wear the big white dress, then it's all downhill from there.  I was talking to my friend S. a while back and she said it was funny how she used to think that your life was really over after your twenties.  I guess I didn't think it was THAT bad, but I did sort of believe that nothing fun ever happened once you had kids and a mortgage. 

I do remember being little and thinking how sad it was that my mom and dad never got to play. It seemed like all day Saturday and Sunday all they did was work, work, work.  And they did.  However, I didn't realize that some aspects of what they were doing some adults think is fun. Like gardening or mowing the lawn. I think some people actually like doing those things.  I'm not one of them, but some people...

So no, my life didn't end after my wedding day.  There are a lot of parts of it that are more boring than my twenties, but then again, I cried in the shower a lot in my twenties.  It was so confusing then, just being that little ball of ego jell-o all the time, with no real mold to fall back on.  Just a little ball of jell-o, crawling around, trying to find a shape.  So sad. 

Oh, my anniversary.  Anyway, every year we try to find someplace that reminds us of our wedding, which was on a lovely white-sand beach on the Gulf coast of Florida.  It is hard to find something comparable in Kansas City.  The first year we went Pachamama's in Lawrence.  I don't remember what we did the other years.  It usually involves seafood.  I remember Pachamama's because that was the first time we ever discussed having children.  Then we freaked out and did not actually get around to conceiving the little angel until a whole year later. 

I did realize, though, that since my beloved and I dated for a year and a half and were engaged for a year and a half and have been married for four years, we are now basically at the seven-year point.  Now, does the marriage seven-year-itch thing happen after you have been MARRIED for seven years, or been TOGETHER for seven years?  Should I watch for itching, or do I have three more years to coast?  Nothing particularly itchy right now.  That's good. I always really worried about that, too. I also worried my child would be ugly. Thank goodness I've grown out of that superficiality (okay, I haven't, but phew, the little angel turned out to be cute).

At this point, I think I will also shout out that I used to think I would want bigger bling at the five-year point.  My ring is lovely, but at the time I got married, all my friends had bigger diamonds.  I can't BELIEVE I thought that was important.  I can't BELIEVE I was that insecure about the way I was doing things as opposed to the way everyone else was.  What cured me of that?  Not really sure.  Maybe the angel.  Maybe time. 

Wow.  I sound old.  What will I be writing at my ten-year anniversary?