Like many Americans, my beloved, the little angel, the newly vaccinated Sybil and I watched Kerry and Bush sling mud at each other last night. About halfway through the debate, I found myself wondering again for the 8,974th time why there are no female candidates for president.

I mean, this really makes me angry. How is that Canada is more progressive than we are in this arena? Why am I still listening to two white men with IDENTICAL TIES throwing each other under the bus and talking about a woman's right (or not right) to choose? Do THEY have ovaries? Would THEY have to carry and care for an unwanted child? Do THEY have instinctual mothering instincts that would cause them to lactate if their baby cried two rooms away? Do THEY even know how to stop an argument in a playground without using force, let alone one 6,000 miles away?

I wouldn't vote for a woman just because she was a woman, but I would probably give her five points of extra credit from the get-go. I watch women in business every day, making the same sorts of decisions as men, but executing differently. Not all women, but the right women, execute behind the scenes in a way that gets a hell of a lot more done than blustering about right in the front row. Couldn't America benefit from a softer sell? The entire world hates us for our brashness. We already have more money and a more land than MOST other countries. What would be so wrong about negotiation versus sub-machine guns?

Not all women are good at this, you are thinking. Just because a person has ovaries does not make her a good negotiator. I'll give you that. But I answer "being white and owning a red tie and having lots of money does seem to make you a presidential candidate, though, doesn't it?" It may hurt to examine this. It may make you uncomfortable to realize we still have never had a president who wasn't a middle-aged, white man, kind of the way it makes me uncomfortable to realize my SUV only gets 23 miles a gallon under perfect conditions. But until we all confront those unrecycled cans in the closet, we're going to be stuck watching Bush look constipated and Kerry look old on national television. Neither one of them last night really looked like someone I wanted to vote for - they looked like more of the same. Shame on America. Put someone FEMALE in the hot seat and see what you get. I dare you.