Billy Graham just fixed my shower. No, not the one on television (Billy, not the shower), but his name is honest-to-God Bill Graham. It says so right there on his plumber's shirt.

Billy came when we called the home warranty people for the fifth time this calendar year. While I was pregnant, we lost the dishwasher, the microwave, the hot-water heater and a very important part of the furnace. Somehow our 84-year-old house KNEW the little angel was coming and wanted to prepare us for how little control we would have over the rest of our lives. We had to call Billy because the shower spouted a geyser yesterday just as my sister and her boyfriend were preparing to return to their native Chicago. Billy came, looked at the shower, and told me that (like everything else in This Old House), the part is uncommon, hard to find, at the bottom of a well, you name it. Billy exited stage right to go in search of a "stem." This was our exit conversation:

Billy: "Thank goodness that I didn't have to use the blow torch." WHAT??

Me: "What will happen if you can't find the stem?"

Billy: "Well, you just won't have hot water then." Grinned down at the little angel, who blows through eight or nine bottles every 24 hours.

Me: "Um, I need to clean the bottles." HATING HATING HATING.

Billy: "Just boil the water. I'll be right back."

At this moment, the little angel started crying. She was hungry, and her mother, Laura Ingalls, hadn't had time to boil water to wash a bottle in the creek yet. Yes, idiot, hot water IS important.