Surrender, Dorothy

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The After Hours

The birds are back.  Just thought I'd point that out. Suckers.

Well, I'm delirious today. The little angel has been teething again, though I'm not sure why. I thought she had all of her teeth, even the molars.  She's been drooling like crazy this week, though.  Last night at dinner, I tried to check. I told her to open her mouth up really wide, then like an idiot, I stuck my finger in her mouth to feel for the back, like I used to when she was a baby, completely disregarding the fact that she now has a full set of chompers with no gaps for my finger.  What did I think she was, a horse?  She thought it was a game and promptly bit down, causing me to cry out in pain and pry her mouth open with my other hand to pull out my throbbing finger.  My beloved looked at me like he was again wondering how he could have married someone with the common sense of a third-grader.  He shook his head as if to free himself of the mental image of my stupidity and turned back to the oven-fried vegetables I had labored over for a half-hour.

Since I have to go to Virginia for a business trip Wednesday through Friday, I've volunteered to take all bedtime angel duty until I leave. Again, a study in my stupidity.  As I tried to rock and sing her to sleep last night, I kept finding a pointed, socked toe in my nose.  She wasn't having it.  I ended up letting her party in the dark while I started packing for my trip, waiting for the tired-sounding wah-wah before I went back in.  She finally passed out.

At 1:30, I heard her crying.  I went in, and she was sitting in the middle of the room, looking confused.  I thought her teeth might be hurting again, so I gave her some Tylenol and changed her diaper.  She went back to bed and I laid down on the floor, head on the life-sized Elmo, and faked breathing deeply.  Her little red head kept popping over the guard rail of the big-girl bed.

"Hi, Mommy!" she would say each time, laugh, laugh, laugh.  GAH.

After an hour of this, I violated my own rules about leaving the bedroom and took her down to the couch. I have to teach tonight after work, and the whole 15-hour-day on top of long, long night is not appetizing to me.  Everything would have been great, except Sybil decided to show up just as the little angel was almost asleep.

Sybil hopped up on the couch, all swishy, soft tail and pretty fur.  The little angel was instantly awake again.  The clock read 3:02.  "Hi, Sybie!  PRETTY SYBIE.  Ha!" said the little angel.  Sybil responded by preening against the little angel's outstretched fingers.  I booted Sybil unceremoniously off the couch. 

Of course, she came back.  She's a cat. There was a blanket and fingers to pet her on the couch.  She's not an idiot.  Finally I convinced Sybil to sit down by my feet.  3:35.

The little angel stuck her toe in my nose again.  I kept shifting, trying to get comfortable. Every inch of my non-lotioned-for-wintry-dry-weeks skin started itching. I tried not to think about it.  It itched more.  Finally, I sat up and scratched and scratched.  The little angel thought it was funny.  4:02.

We both finally nodded off around 4:30, though she started squirming again at 6:12.  By then, I had sort of given in to the lead weights someone had tied around my waist, head and appendages.  By the time I heard my beloved showering at 7, I think I may have whimpered a little.  And we're almost out of Diet Coke.

The little angel popped awake, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and went to get her puzzles.  She stuck her finger up my nose to make sure I was awake and showed me the puzzle piece with the cow on it.  "MOOO," she said brightly.  "Cow, Mommy."

"Yes, cow.  Mommy is so sleepy. Mommy is sad when you don't sleepy."

"CUATRO, CINCO SAYS," she said, laughing wildly.  She knows I'm a sucker for her counting in Spanish.

"Siete," I said.

"OCKO, NUAV, DAYS!"

Nuav days, here we come.

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