I totally understand the need to be fully aware of what you're taking when you start taking new medication.  However, do we really need all the possible side effects read in the same friendly-announcer voice?  I saw one commercial last night listing possible side effects of a medication that included tuberculosis and leukemia.

Seriously.

That seems like a big gamble to me.  I don't know, maybe I'm crazy.  I mean, I take a few prescription drugs.  For each of them, I made the mistake of Googling possible side effects before I went on them.  And I've Googled the possible side effects of weaning off of them.  I'm afraid to go on, and once they are helping me, I'm afraid to go off.

And all this talk about side effects is part of the problem.

Not talking about them?  Not exactly the solution.

Generally speaking, we hope that doctors know enough about our health history to protect us from ourselves and not even offer us drugs that might trigger, oh, leukemia, but realistically speaking the minute our health insurance changes, then suddenly our old doctor isn't covered anymore, and we go to a new doctor.  And then that new doctor doesn't know anything at all about us, and really, don't we only spend about ten minutes with this person?

My OB-GYN is my favorite doctor in the whole world.  I've been seeing him since I was pregnant with the little angel. I'd say sum total we've spent about two hours together, including childbirth. He showed up for the final twenty minutes of actual pushing.  The last time I saw him, he repeated three times that I should take calcium because I'm "fair and slender."  It was almost as though he forgot he already told me that, or he was reciting the script the way I used to recite it when I worked as a telemarketer.

I'm not bagging on my doc -- I adore this man. He's the first doctor I've had that I felt really did listen to my concerns, and he does, but how well does he really know me?  Does he know my cheeks get really red after I exercise?  Does he know about my gastointestinal upset every time I eat Italian seasoning?  Does any of that matter to the prescription he is writing?  Who knows?

Who knows?

But is it really safer to stay completely drug-free?  What if something is wrong?

But the side effects. THE SIDE EFFECTS.  And really, the treatment is just another side effect.  We just don't think of it that way.

It's scary to realize how much of a gamble health really is. 

For example, the possible side effects of Viagra include:

Body as a whole: face edema, photosensitivity reaction, shock, asthenia, pain, chills, accidental fall, abdominal pain, allergic reaction, chest pain, accidental injury.

Cardiovascular: angina pectoris, AV block, migraine, syncope, tachycardia, palpitation, hypotension, postural hypotension, myocardial ischemia, cerebral thrombosis, cardiac arrest, heart failure, abnormal electrocardiogram, cardiomyopathy.

Digestive: vomiting, glossitis, colitis, dysphagia, gastritis, gastroenteritis, esophagitis, stomatitis, dry mouth, liver function tests abnormal, rectal hemorrhage, gingivitis.

Hemic and Lymphatic: anemia and leukopenia.

Metabolic and Nutritional: thirst, edema, gout, unstable diabetes, hyperglycemia, peripheral edema, hyperuricemia, hypoglycemic reaction, hypernatremia.

Musculoskeletal: arthritis, arthrosis, myalgia, tendon rupture, tenosynovitis, bone pain, myasthenia, synovitis.

Nervous: ataxia, hypertonia, neuralgia, neuropathy, paresthesia, tremor, vertigo, depression, insomnia, somnolence, abnormal dreams, reflexes decreased, hypesthesia.

Respiratory: asthma, dyspnea, laryngitis, pharyngitis, sinusitis, bronchitis, sputum increased, cough increased.

Skin and Appendages: urticaria, herpes simplex, pruritus, sweating, skin ulcer, contact dermatitis, exfoliative dermatitis.

Special Senses: sudden decrease or loss of hearing, mydriasis, conjunctivitis, photophobia, tinnitus, eye pain, ear pain, eye hemorrhage, cataract, dry eyes.

Urogenital: cystitis, nocturia, urinary frequency, breast enlargement, urinary incontinence, abnormal ejaculation, genital edema and anorgasmia.

Think about the pills you do need?  And some pills, like those that control hypertension or blood pressure or migraines, we really DO NEED.

God, it's scary.

Just the other day, right about the time I was working on the BlogHer post about "the bases" of sex, I had this memory flood of totally immature sayings from middle school come back.  One of them was, "Twat?  I cunt hear you. I have an ear infucktion."

I never said this blog was clean, people.

Anyway, I was thinking about that saying and really how stupid it was, but how after all of these years it still can make me giggle just because? It is so damn stupid.  And my, how middle school boys love anything stupid AND sex-related all at the same time.

So anyway, ear infections were top of mind, and I think I may have jinxed myself.  The little angel woke up this morning at 1:30, SCREAMING in pain.  I have not heard her cry like that in a long time. It was like she was possessed. We finally got her back to sleep with Motrin, but it happened again and again. Finally, at 4 a.m., I drove to Wal-Mart.  As I was standing there in the aisle looking at Swimmer's Ear medicine, I remembered that one of her tubes is still partially in. I wondered if you should pour Swimmer's Ear medicine straight into someone's brain.  I called the on-call pediatrician, who said, NO YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY NOT.

And she couldn't take more medicine yet.  I got home, hoping maybe she'd just fallen asleep, but I could hear her screaming literally outside the house. I got upstairs, took one look at her face contorted in pain, and shoved her in the truck.  It was high time we checked out the local ER.  Before we left, I looked at Beloved plaintively. 

Me: "See you in six hours."

Him:  "Rita, this is the suburbs."

Me: "I've never left an ER in under six hours."

Him:  "Look around.  There are not going to be gunshot wounds like before."

Actually, he was right. We were the only ones there. In and out in an hour.  She got scared when we were inside, and when the doctor started digging around in her ear with a long Q-Tip, she trembled a little, but so brave was my girl that I didn't realize how much it was hurting her until the doctor asked.

The doctor decided that to really determine if it was an inner ear or external ear infection (Swimmer's Ear), she would have to dig a LOT in a very painful way.  Thankfully, she decided just to treat for both and not subject all of us to the sound of a four-year-old already in abject pain having her skull scraped out with a sharp stick.  She gave me two prescriptions and the little angel a shot (glass) of antibiotics mixed with Tylenol with codeine.  Yeah, baby.

So anyway, that's been my day.  The little angel recovered greatly after her second dose of antibiotics and has been treating her stuffed animals to an advanced photography session complete with lighting and staging followed by Group Time while I frantically tried to edit stuff for work.  Still, the sound of her singing instead of screaming is music to my ears. And, Tropical Hello Kitty arrived today from Build-A-Bear. 

I would review it, except that my dear friend Average Jane is the social media expert behind the product, so suffice it to say she knows exactly how to trip my daughter's trigger.  The little angel practically backflipped off the step with joy, and when I pointed out we could go back to Build-a-Bear to get Hello Kitty a new outfit, I think she levitated. I can't figure whether she or Blondie likes that place more. Tropical Hello Kitty and Pink Kitteh promptly switched outfits, as you do.

Credit: Chris Carfi at BlogHer 2007, when Blondie purchased Pink Kitteh for the little angel.

The little angel: "LOOK! NOW THEY ARE SISTERS!!!"

Beloved is going to kill me.

How was YOUR day?