When Kids Hit School, Parents Hit the Thesaurus
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I was reading my friend Liz's blog yesterday. She wrote about how her daughter's teacher told her daughter that "poop" is a bad word, causing Liz and her partner to abandon their poop jokes.

I, lover of the English language, consider no words to be bad. Just sometimes inappropriately used.

I will not be winning any parenting awards when I say that I have a sailor's mouth, sometimes even around my daughter. I don't set out to say "fuck," it just occasionally happens. Still, it does make me somehow proud that she chastises me on my use of the word "stupid" but lets "fuck" sail right on by. Also, she never uses any of the Big Seven herself. We told her a while ago there are certain words that really sound horrible coming out of a child's mouth, and she must be old enough to drive in order to use them. Because only then can they truly be used properly.

This "stupid" thing, though -- I'm going through what Liz is going through with "poop." I've resulted to consulting The Highly Selective Thesaurus for the Extraordinarily Literate, which I keep sitting on my desk at work to frighten off IT people. Bring it on, kindergarten teacher.

Synonyms for "stupid" include:

  • Asinine*
  • Blockish
  • Doltish
  • Fatuitous
  • Fatuous
  • Witless

*One of my all-time favorite put-downs, because people can't tell if you've just called them an ass in polite company or not.

"Poop" alternatives:

  • Feces
  • Defecation
  • Stercoraceous, stercorus (pertaining to feces)
  • fecaloid (resembling feces)
  • Feculent (fecal matter, full of) = WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!

So thank you, teachers of America, for forcing us parents to elevate our grammar to say the exact same thing in a way our kids don't understand.

Musical & Social Harmony
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boston-childrens-chorus.jpgBack in high school, audition jitters aside, I adored being on the competitive orchestra circuit. The long rehearsals led to beautiful music and amazing friendships. And if you want to learn about a local arts group that creates music, friendships, and unity across cultural and social gaps, check out the Boston Children’s Chorus tomorrow, November 5 (6-7pm), at the Boston Public Library. The BCC -- which uses music to unify Boston’s diverse communities, inspire social change, and provide kids with music education and performance opportunities -- will preview a documentary about its recent tour to Jordan and celebrate the release of their This is the Sound of Harmony CD.

Pass The Candy
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halloween-candy.jpgIf you're like us, you're overrun with Halloween candy. I subsequently was thrilled to read Fairly Odd Mother's post about ways to put the candy to good use; namely, by donating the loot to troops overseas. Check out the leads Christina culled, as well as those by Cool Mom Picks. And if you're looking for local drop offs, bring your Halloween candy to Magic Beans (all 3 locations) through November 10 and trade it for 25% off a toy, or to Wellesley Dental Group where they'll buy back paper lunch bags full of candy for $1 then donate the candy to the troops (through November 13).
Laurel is totally on board with this plan and already has set aside candy for donation and made a card (pictured below) to include. I also offered to the other families in Laurel's kindergarten class to coordinate a shipment from the class, such that I'll be collecting candy and cards from families this week and will ship it all out over the weekend.

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Image credits: 1 (Wellesley Dental Group); 2 (Christine Koh)

Novel-in-Progress: 46,000 Words
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Now that it's November, people might think I'm doing NaNoWriMo, butI'm not. I've been working on this novel since June, and there is noway it's going to get done by the end of November. Ha ha ha ha ha.Ahem. Ha.

But I did turn a corner last Friday. I ended the second third androunded the corner in my head into the last full section of the book.I'm at 46,000 words now and still aiming for 75,000 before I startcutting. The novel is definitely feeling young adult at this point, andI think YA word count is supposed to be between 55,000 and 70,000words. 

About halfway through the second third of the book, I finally saw how it was all going to fit together. There are still certain details that are lost on me, and there's one character I haven't figured out how to fully utilize (does every main character have to be important?) or I should probably cut her out. Right now she's just sort of there but doesn't play a big part in my heroine's life. I think I need to go read some more novels to figure out the answer to that question -- reading always answers most of my questions about writing. How did someone else pull it off?

I sat down with my notebook two weeks ago and laid out the last half of the book. Each chapter got two or three scenes I wanted to work in. What happens between those scenes usually occurs to me when I sit down to write. I try to write at least one chapter -- at least ten pages -- each time I sit down. The chapters may or may not stay at that length -- it's just a way for me to mark progress, like mile markers on an endless highway. Without those mile markers, the trip just seems unbearable.

I get very overwhelmed at the thought of writing something I can't finish in one sitting. Even when I'm tasked with writing long articles, I do the research in several sittings but then when I sit down, I spit out the entire rough draft in one go. This novel thing is different. It's too long, and even if I had the stamina and time to do it in one sitting, I wouldn't know what was going to happen. The plot has occurred to me in the car and in the shower over months. 

Last Thursday night, Beloved and I were talking and I told him I had no idea what I was going to write about in the chapter I had to do the following day. I knew the scenes, but I didn't know what was going to happen in them or how I was going to get from point A to point B. He said, "Just let it come to you," and I knew he was right, but I was panicky. Usually I can sort of see it before I sit down. But then, last Friday I totally got it and wrote 27 pages in one sitting. I think the subconscious will bring a lot to fiction if you plant the seed of the scene and then let it rattle around a little.

Once I wrote out the chapters and scenes for the rest of the book, the writing got a lot easier. Many people believe in outlining an entire novel before they sit down to write, and many people just give it a go. I'm sort of in between, but I am finding having the scenes decided makes it easier to sit down. Then I have the room -- I just have to decide which characters walk into it and what they do while they're there. 

I am anxious to get the rough draft out. That's always the part that worries me the most. If you're going to lose the scent, it's in the rough draft. Rewriting is easier for me than writing. I'm not a person who gets trapped in rewrites, going over and over the same passage. I believe in making each sentence the best it can be, but I don't like working the same project over and over. I read once that Tom Robbins rewrites his novels something like 30 times before they are published. But he doesn't use an outline. He's going at it in a completely different way than I do. I like to make passes, he likes to get it right before he moves on. I have no idea how he can do that -- not know what's going to happen next, but be at that level of detail with each sentence -- but clearly it works for him, and I can only hope to learn how to make this novel-writing process work for me. It has never worked for me before.

While I understand the language of a YA novel should be accessible, I want this novel to be well written. I don't believe in purely plot-driven novels with sloppy sentences (ahem, Twilight). Lemony Snicket wrote some really tight middle-grade novels, and they are clearly accessible to young readers. They even define the hard words right in the text. So I know it can be done. 

The book thing scares me. I had a dream the other night my publisher called me and said every book in the history of the universe written right before and right after mine had sold well, but mine was horrible. And WHY? WHY WAS MINE HORRIBLE? WHY DIDN'T PEOPLE LIKE MINE? I sat there trying to explain but realized I couldn't. 

After much consideration, I think the point of the dream is I'm writing this novel for me. It's a story I want to tell. I really, really want it to get published and be out in the world, but like Beloved always says, I can't focus too much on whether or not it will be popular, because to focus on that is abandon why I write in the first place. Yes, I believe in supporting books with author marketing efforts. Yes, I believe in finding a publisher with a solid distribution model. Yes, I definitely believe in the power of good publicity. Ultimately, though, like bloggers who start blogs to make money, authors who write books only to sell copies will not last very long, for the same reason -- nobody will want to read them.

Mary Kaye's Music Box
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mary-kaye-music-box.jpgAre you on the (seemingly elusive) hunt for music that the whole family will enjoy? Today, Jennifer recommends Mary Kaye’s latest album Music Box. Read on for Jennifer’s review, as well as to learn how to be one of two winners to receive a copy of Music Box (entry closes at midnight, November 5):
“I knew Mary Kaye’s Music Box was special 20 seconds into the first song, when my son Gabriel came running from the other room and immediately started dancing. The first track, ‘Under the Moon,’ is an invitation, as animals of all sorts -- including children -- lend their sounds to Mary Kaye's lyrical rendition of a walk through the night. With Kaye's deep, rich vocals (think Natalie Merchant) and a diverse blend of acoustic and electric accompaniment that evokes all the magical noise of childhood, listeners are drawn into a world that is decidedly kid, but where adults feel at home as well.

Rare is the children's CD that comes into our house and isn't loathed by the grown-ups after a week or two of kid-demanded repeated play. But Mary Kaye masterfully layers her songs, and adults will appreciate the underlying messages of love and compassion that are relevant to people of all ages. Music Box stands out in its consistent ability to tap into the everyday realities of childhood -- bugs in the house, hot chocolate, the love of a favorite toy -- and illuminate those experiences without condescension or preachiness. When Mary Kaye sings about how much she loves that plastic turtle, you believe it. Her deep respect and perspicacity are no more evident than in ‘Family,’ where a mundane task like buying groceries -- when seen through a child's eyes -- is so much more: ‘That's when I see we are a family / You are the whole wheat bread / I'm a tomato red / You are the blueberries / And we get picked up / And we get squeezed / And we are riding in the cart with our free cookie and our slice of cheese.’

Music Box is now in heavy rotation here, enjoyed equally by all 4 of my kids. Not only have I had no urge to toss, hide, or otherwise lose the CD, but yesterday I absentmindedly put it on while I was out doing errands, and found myself singing along, with no kids in the car.”

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THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winners Jennifer and Phoebe!
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Now, want to be one of two winners to receive Mary Kaye’s Music Box CD? Here's how:

  • Visit Mary Kaye’s music page, then email contests@bostonmamas.com (with ‘Mary Kaye’ in the subject), and name another CD by Mary Kaye.

  • One entry permitted per person; worldwide residents welcome to enter.

  • Entry period closes at midnight EST, Friday, November 5, 2009.

  • Mayor’s Holiday Special
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    mayors-holiday-special.jpgNow that we've hit November, the concept of holiday is slowly creeping onto my radar. I'm still ignoring holiday retail displays, but I'm all for securing tickets to Boston’s fabulous arts scene at a budget in celebration of the season. In addition to discounted arts tickets, the Mayor’s Holiday Special site features shopping, dining, and lodging deals and is open now through January 18, 2010.

    Hands On Small Business
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    hands-on-small-business.jpgCalling all small business owners and budding entrepreneurs! There are just two Kirtsy/Microsoft Office Live Hands On Small Business sessions remaining in Boston. HOSB is a series of 100 fun, FREE gatherings in 20 cities across the US and Canada, and covers free online and social media solutions to help entrepreneurs and small businesses build and promote their business. I’m teaching the Boston sessions with Angela from Mommy Bytes. The remaining two sessions are this Thursday, November 5 (7-9pm) and Wednesday, November 11 (1-3pm). Click here to register and hope to meet you soon!

    November Defies November

    It was gorgeous today, this first day of November, when winter begins in the lower Midwest.

    It is her sixth November.

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    The little angel was determined to wear her new snow boots, despite the seventy-degree temps.

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    She can see through my attempts to get her to smile for real.

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    She fearlessly climbed a very tall rock.

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    I was happy and sad to learn she didn't need me to hold her on the way up.

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    She became the spiderweb queen, and I retired to princess.

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    She doesn't always listen to me anymore, now that she's five.

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    She has her own ideas.

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    Sometimes, she's determined to go her own way.

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    A cautious toddler, she's become a courageous girl.

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    It's a relief she still looks back to make sure I'm behind her.