Ever since Sarah shared her love for St. John's Maho Bay, I've been thinking about traveling to the U.S. Virgin Islands. So I felt immensely fortunate when the USVI Department of Tourism recently invited me to explore one or more of the islands for a press tour. If I were going alone or with Jon, I definitely would have wanted to compare St. Thomas, St. John, and St. Croix; however, given that my editorial interest was family friendly travel, I brought Laurel (which the USVI DOT kindly accommodated financially, in addition to my expenses), and given that I'm still nursing I brought Violet too (no expenses). I also decided to fulfill a life list item and pay my Mom's way so she could enjoy a vacation. I have a lot of handy travel information to share (including answering travel Q&A from readers), so I'll be reporting across two (possibly three) posts. The first focuses on air travel.
This press trip was coordinated to coincide with JetBlue's inaugural direct flight to St. Thomas. It's been a while since I have flown JetBlue (since my trip to Atlantis actually) and this experience -- coupled with the very recent memory of three flights within the last two months (one cross-country with Laurel and Violet) -- has solidified that I must check JetBlue first in the future. The main differences -- all making traveling with two kids way easier -- included the following:

First bag free. I've always been a light packer so when I fly solo I typically carry on my luggage. However, carrying on isn't always easy when traveling with kids, plus I'm convinced that the mob mentality often evident at departure gates is at least in part attributed to fear of not getting a space for one's carry-on luggage in the overhead bins (and not wanting to pay to check bags). Though yes, you add time by having to go to baggage claim, when traveling with kids, it's great if you can lighten your load and check bags without worrying about extra cost. And in both directions, I did not see the panicky line assembly that I saw on my last three trips on other airlines.

A little extra check in help. Traveling both directions (i.e., not just because the flight departing Boston was the inaugural flight), a gate agent approached me to tag my stroller and booster. This was a small gesture, but really appreciated, especially given that in Boston Laurel and my Mom headed off to the Kidport and it would have been a nuisance to navigate Violet, stroller, and Laurel, my Mom, and my personal effects to the counter to get the tags.

Legroom. Many airlines talk about offering more legroom, but I've flown United, American, AirTran, and Delta in the last couple of months and unless you're in the emergency exit row (which you can't be if you're traveling with kids) or you opt to pay for more legroom, it's tight. Sometimes really tight. And I'm not even that tall. The legroom on JetBlue is the most accommodating I've experienced, which is particularly handy when you're traveling with a squirmy baby.

Snacks. Admittedly, I wasn't wild about the more substantial snack boxes we purchased on the return flight (tuckered out and fighting a cold, I completely brain cramped on buying dinner for the plane) but if you just need light snacks it's really very nice that JetBlue still offers free snacks. And tasty ones. Also, unlimited. Not like I would know anything about that.

Diaper friendly. Arguably the biggest unexpected bonus for me was the fact that JetBlue offers changing tables in the bathrooms, which meant that I did not (as on other flights this fall) have to lie Violet on the floor of the galley (yuck, even with a changing mat). I discovered this completely by accident when I first took Laurel to the bathroom and she made me squeeze in there with her. The table drops down above the toilet and is aligned and fitted to drop down to wedge between the wall and sink/counter level so there's nowhere for baby to roll side to side and babies can even gaze happily at themselves in the mirror. Awesome!

In a nutshell, I was thrilled with JetBlue, particularly from the family friendly angle, and highly recommend you consider flying with them (my mom is also now totally a fan!). It's excellent that they now fly direct to St. Thomas (as well as other tropical destinations), though it's a bit of a bummer that you cannot fly back direct in the reverse. On the return flight we had to fly to San Juan to refuel and though it was a short 20-minute trip, the overall process added an extra hour to our return travel. Meanwhile, I'm truly sad they don't fly to Nashville (my next trip). Even though my Nashville journey will be solo, I would love to enjoy less carry-on baggage mayhem, more legroom, snacks, and great service.

I've been reading some interesting posts over at BlogHer about Santa. One was from a woman who is not going to tell her child that Santa is real, ever:

We’ve definitely put some thought into this decision, and I feel certain it’s the right one for our family. I think we will absolutely tell Noah the story of Santa Claus, but we just won’t tell him Santa brings him presents, comes down the chimney, eats cookies that he leaves for him or that Santa is “watching him.”

I don’t think he’ll be missing out on much because we will begin our own traditions, and he will have happy Christmases built on the values that we’ve chosen for our family.

On the other side is the woman whose kids freaked when they saw Santa in a restaurant:

But instead I saw you, in all your white-bearded, spectacled glory, enjoying a quiet meal with Mrs. Claus. In a Harley T-shirt and jeans. No matter…the kids didn’t need to see your red suit or reindeer companions to know it was you. I’m sure your celebrity status allows you little anonymity at this time of year.

The most interesting thing about these posts is how important whether or not Santa exists and whether or not their kids believe he exists is to people. I had no idea. You should go read the comments -- some people are kind of worked up over whether a complete stranger tells her kid Santa's a myth.

I had to text my parents and sister last night while thinking about this post to figure out if I ever believed in Santa Claus. (It turns out I did, and my sister remembered the exact moment I ruined her childhood by telling her he was a ruse. Sorry, Sis.) The reason I think I wondered is that my parents are Christian and very religious, and what I remember most clearly was going to church on Christmas Eve and the nativity appearing under the huge tree there every week in advent, the advent wreath, the candles. I really, really, don't remember the Santa bits.

My seven-year-old is on the edge of no longer believing in Santa. She said the other day she doesn't want to grow up, either. I think she's clinging to Santa like she clings to her stuffed animals -- growing up is tough stuff, and Santa and young-kid toys are a safety blanket of sorts for her, the easy, no-pressure part of childhood before you have peer pressure or fashion or mean girls.

Most of her friends don't believe in Santa any more and tell her that he's not real. Last year she wrote on her white board "things I believe in" and drew the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa. It made me feel wistful to see that, just like it made me wistful to start shopping in the girls section of the store instead of the toddler section, just like it makes me feel wistful to realize she knows all the words to Adele songs and has somewhere learned to dance with actual rhythm.

When she comes to me and asks, I just keep directing it back to her, asking her what she thinks. I'm a fiction writer. I make her bears talk, I make up stories about the cat texting me, and she knows I'm full of it but loves the stories, anyway. When she was little, I told her the cat ate monsters and then made up a whole picture book plot line about it, and she loved that, too. She stopped believing the cat really ate monsters but still loved the idea. But that, too, is me --  making up stories is very natural and fun for me, so I doubt she'll freak when she makes the transition from believing Santa is real to loving the idea. I doubt she'll hate me for being a liar, because "lie" and "fiction" -- oh, it's such a fine line, isn't it? Her childhood has been filled with interesting fictions (she still believes there is a Mommy Handbook -- from which I regularly quote passages -- and that I have to report to the Mommy Board if I fail to discipline her properly). 

Oh, we do emphasize our celebration of Christmas from a religious perspective, as well. Though we don't have a regular church, we still celebrate the story of Christmas. She knows for Christians Christmas is the second most important religious holiday --  and she also knows a long time ago our culture started separating out the religious part from the Santa part so even people who aren't Christians celebrate Christmas, just in a different way. The mash-up of cultural and Christian holidays is very real -- Easter, same thing. Our culture tends to do that with Christian holidays way more than any other religious holidays, so it's something we confront over and over. The way we've dealt with it is to completely separate them -- there's the serious religious holiday and then the crazy American holiday, and they really have nothing to do with one another but, you know, fun! Who doesn't like painting eggs and decorating trees?

Kids are going to have to confront other kids with different belief systems their whole lives, whether it's Santa or a different religion or a different culture. Nobody parents the same way, and part of parenting is helping your child negotiate a world filled with different belief systems without fighting with everyone. Which is why I don't get why some commenters are so upset. 

I love the philosophy of the Jewish woman whose family used to celebrate Christmas and now has a Christian boyfriend: 

As years went on, our ginormous Christmas tree became a Chanukah bush. I never really understood that. The bush part I mean. Like a burning bush? My dad was slowly finding his Jewish roots, and we were slowly losing our Christian Christmas. If you ask my mom why we celebrated Christmas, she'll say that it was never a religious celebration but rather an opportunity to decorate. And wrap. The woman is an expert gift wrapper.

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/30581015 w=400&h=225]

Midnight Sun | Iceland from SCIENTIFANTASTIC on Vimeo.

My life list includes writing a couple of books that have been percolating in my brain the last couple of years (I'm actually drafting outlines for a potential publisher!). Meanwhile, I have a few friends who published books this year and I'm utterly thrilled for them! These titles technically are no longer new releases (though a couple of them, er, were in fact so when the review copies were sent to me during my Violet babymoon), but I wanted to share them before more time elapsed. The first title would be an entertaining gift for a new mom; the second and third handy for aspiring mamapreneurs.
Let's Panic About Babies!

I was thrilled to see my delightful friend Alice Bradley and finally meet the lovely Eden Kennedy -- co-authors of Let's Panic About Babies! -- at Camp Mighty last month. With the exception that it reminded me that I received their book about 10 minutes after returning home from the hospital with Violet and it eventually disappeared into the vortex that currently is my office. Though I have, in fact, gazed into Violet's eyes with the laser sharp adoration portrayed on the book's cover, as a not so panicky second time mom I had many laughs while reading this book -- particularly while deciphering the tables, graphs, and diagrams. If you need a comical break from all the "should's" typically associated with parenting manuals, Let's Panic is a welcome respite. Also, start following Alice and Eden's blogs. They are such smart and funny writers.

The Digital Mom Handbook

Audrey McClelland and Colleen Padilla were among the first mom bloggers I connected with online when the mom blogging scene exploded five years ago. They both are truly bright and generous spirits in this space and this year they published The Digital Mom Handbook, a guide to helping moms figure out the nuts and bolts of creating a digital career. Imparting their advice, as well as that of many mom bloggers (I'm honored to be included in the book), Audrey and Colleen help readers through top down elements such as finding one's passion, to bottom up building blocks such as handling pitches and navigating social media platforms. This book is great for newbies, but I also found it fun to read what fellow bloggers had to say about their journeys into digital careers.

MOM, Incorporated

I only had a few minutes to thumb through MOM, Incorporated at Aliza Sherman and my lovely friend Danielle Smith's Boston book launch party this past fall, but at said party, the authors talked about something in their book that really resonated with me: the persistence with which women apologize for their actions (often when not justified), and how it's time to stop that behavior. Ever since that day, I've been trying to start less e-mails and conversations with "I'm sorry I didn't do ______" (try it -- it's both challenging and liberating!). Meanwhile, MOM, Incorporated drills down into the how to's of building a business (e.g, business plans, incorporating, finances, tech) while having a family.

I hope you enjoy these books. I'm so grateful to know these talented authors!

I took the little angel to The Nutcracker yesterday. Since she is still in ballet, I thought it might be time to go view the big guns in their gorgeous new home downtown. I bought the tickets the minute they went on sale, back in November, for the Sunday matinee. Because I've never been to the new performing arts center, I just angled for the closest seat I could find to the stage, even though it was sort of over on the side, which can sometimes suck.

This did not suck.

It was a frickin' box. With five chairs in the whole thing. And a WAITER.

The coat check guy looked at our tickets and mentioned it might just be a box, and I thought, oh my gosh, I have never sat in a box in my life. My child's head will explode.

We wandered through the gorgeous glass lobby so bright I needed sunglasses and wound our way around to the box. 

We were the first ones there, soon to be joined by a sweet family with a little tiny girl who will no doubt demand to be driven to prom in a limo following this experience. My girl and I marveled at the view. We could see the entire orchestra from that angle, as well as almost every single person in the audience. 

"You know, I didn't do this on purpose," I told my girl. "We may never achieve this level of seating here again. Now that everyone's seen it, it's going to be hard to come by."

She grinned ear to ear.

The waiter came by and asked if we would like to order some holiday cookies or drinks for intermission. Why yes, we would! 

"Can you believe it?" she kept asking, echoing me, I'm sure, who probably sounded like the world's biggest hick to the family next to us with enough money to take a two-year-old who had to leave halfway through the second act to watch her first Nutcracker from such an awesome seat. But I didn't care. I'm not wealthy, and I don't get to treat my girl to such things every day. 

As we walked out, I hoped she would remember her first trip to see the Kansas City Ballet, the first time we sat in the new performing arts center and the first time we experienced the glory that is box seats together, just the two of us, giggling like idiots through the whole thing.

I know I will.

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Read my review of The Literary Ladies Guide to the Writing Life by Nava Atlas on Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews!

Hello folks! I'm currently digging out after a few days away on a press trip (more to come on that front in the next week or two) and hope you had a spectacular weekend! Meanwhile, here are some handy/fun ideas to consider in this week's Weekly Blueprint:

Now through January 1: Christmas Festival of Lights at Edaville.

December 20: Hanukkah party at Inside Playground.
December 20: Menorah lighting on Boston Common.

December 21: Winter Solstice Night at the Harvard Museum of Natural History.

December 22: Hanukkah celebration at the Discovery Museums.

December 22: Winter solstice celebration at Stony Brook.

December 22: Two opportunities to study coyotes.

At your leisure: Chip away at wrapping gifts, or if you're time crunched, pick up a bunch of gift bags to make your life easier.

At your leisure: Outsource. Whether for wrapping or otherwise, right this second I'm considering hiring a rabbit for an hour or two to take a little off my plate. My office, especially, is a disaster and needs organizational help.

At your leisure: Take care of a little grooming before the holiday photo blitz. The other month I stopped in at Infinity Beauty Salon last minute and was shocked to pay a mere $15 for a lip and brow wax.

At your leisure: Hit the grocery store for holiday baking supplies. I'm excited to make cookies with Laurel this week!

At your leisure: Do some preventative care. Whether it's yoga, walking, drinking hot lemon water with honey, or other tricks, take care of yourself. This is prime time for pushing too hard and getting sick.

At your leisure: Pick up mason jars or other supplies for little holiday treats. I have a big batch of magic salt awaiting packaging. I always like to do up some extra jars for last minute gifting.

Image credit: Edaville

I stepped outside one afternoon this week and my skin didn't register cold wind. It didn't register a temperature change from the air of the house. The sky swirled with gray clouds, but I laced up my shoes and grabbed a fleece jacket and headed out. 

I wasn't sure how far I planned to go. I wasn't dressed to jog -- I was wearing paint-spattered jeans, a normal bra, glasses. Maybe just around the block, I thought. As it started to gently rain, I thought farther. 

For once, I wasn't wearing my little hat. My hair blew as the scent of my wet hairspray released, then washed away. My glasses fogged first, then collected perfectly round raindrops on their nonglare lenses. Earbuds nestled in my ears, I made my way through the rain into what will most likely be the last warm day of 2011. 

I had to keep walking.

I started sweating inside my fleece -- certain I would release steam at any moment -- and listened to the music in my ears. Looking through my dappled glasses made me feel like a cinematographer following her subject deeper into the woods, camera lens be damned.

I ended up at my jogging turn-around point before I realized the rain had stopped. I wiped off my glasses and scuffed across the sidewalk, thinking I smelled lilacs until I realized it was the wet, dead leaves under my feet giving off that sweet smell. If I inhaled deeply, the smell came back as the ground underneath the fallen tree in the timber beside my parents house where I liked to go as a kid and pretend I was in Narnia. 

All too soon, it was over, and that perfect contrast of steamy skin and not-cold mist ended the minute I walked into my climate-controlled house and realized how wet I was. Inside the house, not moving anymore, I was cold. 

The next day the temperature returned to normal for December in Kansas City. I'll bet the leaves don't smell like lilacs anymore. There was something about that day, that misty rain, the temperature that released a little bit of summer into the air before sealing itself against the cold.

Hello everyone! I'm soon to depart for a press trip to explore a (potentially) family friendly travel destination (hopefully I'll have excellent things to share with you in the next week or so!) so I wanted to leave you with this roundup of 13 fun weekend picks to consider:

1. Urban Nutcracker at the Wheelock Family Theatre. (Boston)

2. The opening of the Charles Hotel skating rink. (Cambridge)

3. A holiday concert by the Boston Choral Ensemble and the Choirs of Marlborough High School. (Boston)

4. The Cultural Survival Bazaar's final event of the season. (Boston)

5. Family friendly Chanukah lights celebrations. (Arlington, Newton)

6. A gingerbread castle competition at the Higgins Armory Museum. (Worcester)

7. Children's choruses and orchestras at the NEC Prep Winter Festival Concert. (Boston)

8. A Christmas Celtic Sojourn. (Boston)

9. The Christmas Revels. (Cambridge)

10. Trains galore at the National Heritage Museum. (Lexington)

11. A gingerbread house workshop at Smolak Farms. (North Andover)

12. Santa (on Saturday) and Chanukah celebrations (on Sunday) at Barefoot Books. (Concord)

13. The final showings of The Velveteen Rabbit (see Lindsey's review!). (Boston)

Image credit: Urban Nutcracker

Recently I watched the first two episodes of Lifetime's new eating disorder reality show (yes, I really typed that) starring Tracey Gold called Starving Secrets. It's a subject I keep coming back to despite the ickiness of it, because only 30-40% of anorexics ever fully recover, and I did. I understand how hard it is to break the cycle. It's really important for that those of us who have done so talk about it, just so those still suffering know it is possible. And so, the show.

I really do want to like this show. I DVRed it but it took about a week before I watched the first episode. I was worried it would be like Dr. Phil, though I had high hopes because of the presence of former anorexic Tracey Gold.

After I tweeted about watching the show, I heard from Michelle Leath of unlockyourpossibility.com and michelleleath.com (her new bulimia blog), who is a recovered bulimic and a Certified Food Psychology Coach and life coach specializing in helping women create a healthy relationship with food and life.

I was eager to get another recovered woman's perspective. She had this to say (extended quote used with permission):

Although some may disagree with me, what I take issue with is not the exposure or the depiction of these women engaged in their (not so) private struggles. I actually felt a great deal of compassion for them, and I think its valuable for others to witness the pain and suffering that come with bulimia and anorexia. What really turned my stomach was the way these women were treated once they got into treatment!

Read the rest on BlogHer ...