Kate Gosselin Gets a Tattoo

I'd been wanting it for about six months. And last week was a long week. So when Beloved and I finished dinner early on our postponed Saturday date night and he suggested that maybe I should just go get that tattoo, I took him up on it.

The tattoo artist tried to upsell me to something with banners and hearts and what she referred to as "timeless gangster script" and I looked at her like do you see me standing right here in front of you?

Then she said they were all mentioning how much I look like Kate Gosselin. I could just see it -- three twentysomethings in the back laughing at how Kate Gosselin had just shown up to get her ink done.

It made me feel a bit old. A bit twee.

But I got it, anyway.

Presently I'm sitting in the world's funniest hotel in San Mateo, California, where I just had a day of business meetings yesterday and am preparing for another one today. Me and my new tattoo, which is reminding me to stop worrying about what might happen in the future. My tattoo that is telling me to live in the present.

I'm 37 years old, and I guess at this point I can stencil whatever I want on my appendages. The time, it seems, is just now, whenever now is, and that's something I've been fighting to keep in mind for the past few years. Something I came perilously close to forgetting this week when two family members had unexpected health scares and forced me to cling to the present in ways I haven't in a while.

After the twenty-four-year-old tattoo artist finished my tiny revelation, I texted the babysitter to tell her I was coming home early to show her my new tattoo.

On Sunday morning I woke up, having forgotten about the whole thing, and was honestly shocked when I saw my arm. It was like waking up at your grandma's house when you were expecting to see your own bedroom. I admit I freaked out for a minute, then I read the damn thing and reminded myself it's here now, I'm me now, there is only now. There is no worrying about the future or ruminating on the past -- if I'm to be present, there is only now.

See? It's working.