Petunia Cookie Dough is an Addict. She Needs Help Now.

Petunia Cookie Dough has an appointment to have a tooth extracted next week. Apparently she's got a cavity down to the root. It's causing her pain when she eats. I'd noticed her sort of turning her head to the side and hacking a lot, and I worried when we were gone for three days at Christmas that she wouldn't eat her hard food and then we'd come home to find an insane muted calico who'd eaten part of the couch and an entire package of dental floss while we were gone.

So I did the responsible cat owner thing and asked the neighbor to come over and give her a little soft food every day.

By the time we returned, Petunia had gained enough weight to notice a difference. In three days, she'd eaten four entire cans of soft cat food. The big ones, not the little ones. And like a vampire, she'd developed a taste for it.

On Monday, I didn't have any more soft cat food. I gave her hard food and sat down to start working. The withdrawal set in immediately. One would've thought Lindsay Lohan was spending time in my living room. She curled up to me, batting me playfully,  purring all the while. Then, when I didn't give in, she stomped off and sat in the kitchen, meowing mournfully for at least a half hour. Every time I got up to do something, she ran over to her bowl and meowed impatiently. I hid the car keys.

FREAK CAT.

Before this weekend, we'd never given her soft food, and she always ate like a really normal cat. The most normal cat we've ever had, actually, because Sybil always begged for soft food and Bella always begged for treats. I thought Petunia didn't have a junkie personality. I thought she was different.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

I just wanted her to have food while her tooth was hurting! I didn't realize soft cat food has the same active ingredients as Red Bull, cigarettes and Chipotle all wrapped up in one tin. Now I'm going to have to check her in to Cat Rehab. Beloved said we should just stop cold turkey, but her tooth does still hurt and also? I am home all day now working, which means I have to watch little Miss Kitty LiLo cut herself, trying to get my attention. All for a little mushy chicken.