American Woman

One of my co-workers, V., recently returned from his visit home to Bombay.  I teased him before he left that he would return with a wife, as many of my co-workers at my last company left to go home to India for a month and returned either married or engaged.  Some of them had arranged marriages, and some did not.  V. does not strike me as the type to have an arranged marriage, but he does strike me as the type to want to marry an Indian girl, of which there are some, but certainly not the majority, in Kansas City, Missouri (or even worse, Overland Park, Kansas, where V. lives - hello, Scandanavia, how are you?).

All this talk about weddings (he did not get engaged, but he did say he "met someone" - mark my words - this will happen) got me thinking about dating and cultural dating differences.  My experience with Indian courtship, I admit, has been limited to my co-workers.  Some of them were more methodical than others. Those planning to participate in arranged marriage even had some web sites - sort of an Indian Match.com - that listed a level of detail unheard of in American circles - things like resumes, parents' religious backgrounds, level of education, etc.  Here is a list from one site:

Gender:
Age:
Height:
Body Type:
Location:
Birth Country:
Will Travel:
Religion:
Cultural Values:
Star Sign:
Caste/Subcaste:
Skin Tone:
Languages:
Occupation:
Education:
Income:
Diet:
Drinker:
Smoker:
Citizenship:
Living Status:
Marital Status:
Has Children:
Wants Children:
Health:
Hobbies:

Not quite "loves dogs, walks on the beach and Faulkner", eh?

However...smarter.  I mean, we want to know the same things, but we just tend to date for two years to find out how Joe feels about God.   I have a few friends back in the dating pool after being in serious relationships for a few years, and it seems that after the age of 30, people tend to spin the Wheel of Fortune with a more discerning eye than they did at 18.

In America, we don't have arranged marriages.  We do have a 67% divorce rate.  I do not imply these are inherently connected - I think they're mutually exclusive.  However, are we asking the right questions?  Is it time for more resume posting in the dating world?