A Letter to Microsoft

Dear Microsoft,

Hi.  It's been a month since my last letter. Since then, I have taken your name in vain 17 times and have danced around my home office in fury twice. 

This time it's Word on my work laptop.  I don't know what's wrong with it. I'll bet you do, because with its last dying breath, it manages to send you an error report before vanishing into that ridiculous field your buddy Gateway put on my background.

Hold on, my other computer - yes, YOURS - is beeping.

Some other little Application Gnome that lives on my computer just told me there is a security breach in Word 2003.  I just clicked on something, and the gnome tried to fix it.  He took all evidence of the breach message with him. I wonder if he doubles as one of your handlers?  I do remember something about "if the user is logged in with administer capabilities, a hostile entity could use your computer to destroy the world."  Or something evil like that. 

I'm now on minute 47 of trying to download all sorts of updates the gnome recommended.  This better fix Word, Microsoft.  I've got shit to update.  I mean it this time.  Fix my computer, or face ye the wrath of a stressed Alpha Mother.

With love,

Dorothy