'Nam? No, Ferber

The Ferberizing continues.  Again very tempted to videotape the action, but held off in fear of being characterized as a heartless mother.  Now, on the third morning of VERY LITTLE SLEEP, I am starting to see the humor in the situation, sort of like morticians do.

I thought I'd share the conversation I had in my head last night with the beloved Dr. Ferber.

8 p.m.

Me:  Okay, Ferber.  She's cute and cuddly and warm, she's snuggled into my chest, and she's almost asleep.  If I put her down, she will immediately hate me and scream.

Dr. F:  Do it!  Do it!

8:10 p.m. 

Me:  I'm going in now.

Dr. F:  No words. Not a word.  Not a peep.

8:30 p.m.

Me:  I'm going in again. 

Dr. F:  Don't make eye contact.

Me:  Oh, no!  I smell poo.  I HAVE to change her.

Dr. F:  No talking.  In fact, don't even smell.  To smell it is to admit defeat.

Me:  What? I can't hear anymore.

1 a.m.

I kick my beloved and make him go this time.  I channel Dr. F.  "Not a word!" I screech, loudly.  I can't hear anymore.

4 a.m.

Me:  I'm going in with the Oragel and Tylenol. Her Motrin's worn off.  She needs relief.

Dr. F: Fine, but no talking, no eye contact.

Me:  Her eyes are awfully close to her mouth, which is where I have to insert all this stuff.

Dr. F:  Feel your way.  Watch the teech.  Especially the incisors. 

Me:  I hate you.

5:30 a.m.

Me: Isn't she supposed to be learning to put herself back to sleep by now?  She can't have more medicine this soon.  Why is she still screaming?

Dr. F:  I don't know - I just write the books. I don't actually have toddlers.

But she did sleep - after the last, ten-minute round at 5:30 a.m., until 7.  Then it was time to prepare for Sprinkler Day at the Emerald City.  I dressed her all up in her new swimming suit and hand-me-down Steamboat cover-up.  We took some photos. 

She didn't look as puffy around the eyes this morning as she did yesterday morning, but I looked more so.  We are passing each other, apparently.  The key is for the parent to suffer more, I think.  I think that is her strategy.  Another mama friend assured me yesterday that if I keep this business up for two weeks, I will not have to keep going through it every three months.  I hope she is right!  The little angel is getting stronger than I am!