Little Angel or Paci Bandit?
A few months ago, I wailed to the abyss about my little angel's paci victimization, how she was cruelly accosted by a Paci Bandit.
Yesterday, I went to the Emerald City to pick up the little angel, and was sternly informed by the lead teacher (who insists on being called Mrs. W by the parents - the children can't talk) that 1) the little angel needs bigger diapers (she just got into size 4 - size 5 is like for twelve-year-olds) and 2) I need to bring in a paci tether because my daughter and her friend J. like to swap pacis. She has become an aggressor! What happened to my darling little fat-n-happy baby? So quickly they change.
There was a little part of me that breathed a sigh of relief, however...not about the diapers, but the paci thing. When I saw the paci being ripped from her mouth back at Oz, I remember thinking she should rip it right back. That's really the only way to get rid of Paci Bandits in this world. I secretly wanted the little angel to take back the night. And now she has! Now, mind you, I don't want her just to run around the neighborhood sneaking into houses and stealing pacis from the mouths of sleeping babies, but if someone steals hers, she should steal the other child's right back! You go, baby! Hopefully she will learn that there is a time and place for aggression, such as paci banditing activities and department status meetings.
Now, you may be remarking in your heads that I am suddenly unconcerned with oral hygiene. You would be correct. Here's why. During the past few months, the little angel has been disease-ridden with the following afflictions:
- Cradle cap
- Common cold
- Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease
- Rhinovirus (twice)
- Unnamed stomach virus
- Ringworm (which is really just athlete's foot/jock itch located on the body - it's not a worm, people!)
- Ear infection
- Recurring yeast infection (babies CAN get them!)
- Sensitive skin rash
- Teething pain (incessant)
Every night after her bath, we have to apply four kinds of lotion and creams. One for the drool rash on the face, one for the senstive-skin rash on the body, one for the diaper area rash and one for the ringworm rash. This takes ten minutes and results in a howling goo-child impossible to stuff into her almost-too-small winter jammies. However, at this point, after all she's been through, I'm thinking she's probably more dangerous to the other children than they are to her.
Why is that comforting to me?