Conferencing In the World

My company decided that it needed the space where my department sits to house other, more important people, so this weekend, we are moving downtown. I am happy and sad about this. I'm happy because I will get to sit next to a window on the 32nd floor of a mostly glass building. I'm sad because it will destroy the beautious nine-minute commute I have been enjoying for the past few years.

To prepare for this move, we had a scheduled tour earlier this week. Unbeknownst to me, the tour included PHONE TRAINING. Few phrases, other than maybe "freezing drizzle," can inspire more dread in me than "{insert HR phrase here} training." I HATE being trained. It reminds me of high school.

The woman in charge of our phone training informed us right off the bat that she wasn't the REAL trainer, but a substitute who had been called in at the last minute. I wondered if she was like my mom, who is an elementary school substitute teacher, who trains herself to answer the phone at 6 a.m. on one ring and always irons clothes the night before JUST IN CASE. Had this woman been eagerly sitting by the phone in the wee hours before dawn, hoping against hope for the chance to do our phone training? Based on her attitude, I think not.

We began the training. There were about ten of us. The other side of the room came from the financial department. Ever notice how financial analysts regress faster than other adults during phone training? I wouldn't have suspected it either, but those bean counters really know how to party down when released from their calculators. They thought it would be really funny to conference everyone in on their phones, then hang up REALLY FAST. I grew weary of the whole encounter rather quickly and began whispering my envy of my co-worker's cookie, and the teacher actually CLAPPED HER HANDS at me. I couldn't believe it! I, dedicated phone learnee, reprimanded by the reluctant phone sub. The injustice of the world stung. It just stung.

Forty minutes later, phone training was over, and we were out of the building. It was kind of like a bad dream. I'm afraid to see the phone on Monday morning.