Bathroom Humor Is Universal

Today I hosted a Very Important New Product Meeting at a local Mexican restaurant. After hurrying through a long agenda with way too many people, we all settled down to eat. One corner of the table to my left somehow got on the topic of Guy Code. Guy Code (caveat: this apparently only applies to heterosexual men) apparently contains the following tenets:

* Two guys at a public event with stadium seating must always leave one seat open between them. Even on airplanes.

* Guys should never select the urinal immediately adjacent to another guy in a public restroom, unless at a sporting event when "the line is moving along smoothly." Egads. There was also some mention of "trough urinals," but I don't even want to think about that.

* Guys over the age of 30 should try to bring along a female friend to family events to protect their reputation with Great Aunt Edna.

The more I thought about Guy Code, the sillier it seemed. The main point seems to be ensuring that NOBODY THINKS YOU'RE GAY. However, most heterosexual men I know project, well, heterosexuality. And even if they didn't, who the hell cares? Isn't this the new millenium?

Girl Code is pretty much the opposite. Heterosexual women that I know pretty much sit on top of each other if the car's too crowded and use the bathroom as the Gastrointestinally Correct Conference Room. It is, in fact, poor form to not greet and even chat with another acquaintance while washing one's hands in the ladies' between meetings.

This could have something to do with the fact women's restrooms have doors. Let me ponder that. No, because at the YMCA women walk around all the time, often CARRYING A TOWEL, in the nude. Me, if I have a towel and am buck naked in public, I will generally wrap it around me. But not everyone shares this value, according to my latest observations. So I really don't know why men need a seat between and a complete stranger of a female will hand me a tampon without asking questions. Anyone?