Yummy

The little angel has discovered her hands. They are tasty, apparently, because at this moment she is digging in with the gusto of a couch potato on SuperBowl Sunday. She kind of sounds like someone eating buffalo wings. I used to know a kid in elementary school who made slurping noises like that no matter what he ate. And my parents used to make these horrible smacking noises when they kissed each other that still haunt my sleep. I don't like to admit how disturbed I am by the mental comparisions I make when I hear the little angel feasting on her chubby little fingers. Am I weird?

Another outcome of all this finger slurping is that the fingers become sticky, thus attracting lint, string, fuzz and (que horor) CAT HAIR. Every morning, evening and bath time I pry the little angel's balled fists apart to find the daily treasure stuck in the cracks between her fingers. The very same fingers, I might remind you, that she keeps sticking in her mouth.

I read that you are supposed to actually boil the water to make Liquid Sleep. You are supposed to boil a gallon or so, then pour it into measured containers to use throughout the day to ensure a sterile food supply for your baby. This takes so little effort, of course. I love to whip up a nice Dutch Oven of boiled, already treated city tap water each morning as I make my toast. And it's so worth it to have a sterile food supply when your child is licking the germs she pulled off the wool rug five minutes after finishing her bottle!

So I ask the sterilizers of the world...why? Can we really protect our children from every germ in the world's food supply? And should we? Aren't they going to get milk that's been sitting out for three hours from the lunch ladies when they hit kindergarten? And won't they be using it to wash down the dirt they ate at recess? I remember eating fake dirt out of my mother's plastic plant when I was about three. (Okay, I don't remember, but I remember hearing about it.) I'm not saying we have to let them chug Draino. Lock up all of your leftover Darvocet from the first few floaty days after childbirth. But I think constantly boiling water may be a bit of overkill, and I resent the implication I should be doing so.