Faking It?

Apparently, more than one thing in life can be faked.

My little angel awoke this morning at five for her usual bottle of Liquid Sleep. I prepared it groggily, but I know I made the right amount. We sat in the rocker, I popped in the bottle and tried to go back to sleep (this is impossible sitting upright with a wiggling twelve-pounder in your lap). After about ten minutes passed, I peered down through the fishy-nightlight glow to see the little angel sucking away. Satisfied, I tried head rolls to work out the cramp in my neck from perpetually cocking my head to the left during feedings to see if the bubbles in the bottle are going down her little throat.

Ten more minutes. Strangely, the level in the bottle didn't seem to be changing. I pulled it out and checked the rain-gauge on the bottle. Sure enough, she hadn't eaten a drop in twenty minutes. NOT A DROP. I popped it back in her mouth. She smiled, batting her newly-grown red eyelashes at me. Through the corners of her smile, I saw she was just bobbing the nipple up and down, NOT ACTUALLY SUCKING.

So it just goes to show, people will fake anything to be held.