All Done

The actual upper and lower scope didn't take long at all. They took all the biopsies they needed this time and told me about my innards. Some more medicines.

They gave me something to dry out my throat that hasn't worn off yet, but I'm otherwise fine. I finished FORGIVE ME, LEONARD PEACOCK and thought about how important it is for teens to have trusted adults in their lives, how the presence of that can make all the difference in eventual psychological scarring.

Last night right before bed I had this horrible fear something would go wrong and I would die during a routine outpatient surgery. It took me a while to stop the intrusive thoughts. I laid down on my daughter's bed and prayed I'd be able to at least shepherd her to adulthood. Then I started to cry from the anxiety and exhaustion and hunger and stimulative laxatives, and then she rolled over in her sleep and punched me in the head.

I'm waiting for them to come home with glow sticks for the holiday and my fears seem silly now, but they were so very real last night.