It's Halloween. And this year, we're handing out Pixie Sticks. It's a small thing, really. It's not that we can't afford chocolate candy, it's that we've chosen in every area of our lives to think hard about whether that purchase is a want or a need, how it fits in with all the other purchases, how much happiness it will actually bring us. Halloween candy just isn't that important.

I made my daughter's costume this year, where "made" equals "assembled." I based it around the purple Mardi Gras mask I got free at a blogging conference last year. She's got two tutus, a belly dancing skirt, beads, a tiara, some gaudy plastic rings, sparkly leggings and shiny shoes. We already had it all. Because spending $30 on a crappily made Halloween costume doesn't make sense, either. Not ever, really, but especially not this year.

We've been fortunate in that we haven't gone without unemployment since the load hit the fan, but we've worried about it, hard. We've talked about The Plan if one of us was to lose our job. We've switched our Internet around, dropped long distance on the home phone we keep for 911, limited eating out to once a week and started extreme couponing. We buy most of the little angel's and my clothes at our kickass local Goodwill or the gently used kid's store. We still have a rusted 1998 Ford Explorer with more miles than I thought possible for that vehicle.

We've pulled the little angel out of after-school care so we can save that extra money a month for emergency babysitting.  My husband is traveling weekly for his new job that he started three weeks ago, and our babysitter is $15 an hour and we have no family in town. I tried to line up a neighbor for parent-teacher conferences so we could both go, but then the neighbor girl got sick. People are always asking me why I can't come to this or that, but the tough reality for me is that I don't have free childcare, so -- as with purchases -- I have to carefully weigh everything I'm going to attend if my husband is traveling. And if it's across town and I have to add an extra hour of driving time, I'm probably not going anymore.

I'm picking up extra odd blogging jobs, and some of them are coming through here. I'm putting that money toward the credit cards. Too many business trips run through personal cards have messed up my grandiose payment plans. It feels like the balances never go down, despite all our best efforts. Beloved and I had a very frank talk about the cost of utilities, groceries. They are far outpacing our salaries. I thought we'd be rich once we stopped paying our mortgage in toddler childcare, but nothing has really changed. And it's because life -- healthcare, utilities, gas, groceries -- got way more expensive while we weren't looking. But we are very lucky: We still have jobs. We can keep it from getting worse as long as that job pipeline stays open.

My teacher friends have had their hours cut when school bonds didn't pass or states cut their funding. I'm on the board at The Writers Place, where I volunteer more hours a week than I should. We lost state funding this year for the arts. Beloved and I qualified for a refinance a few years ago because our house has lost so much value. It's not just us -- it's tough all around, Ponyboy, and probably worst for small business owners. I don't view Surrender, Dorothy as a main income stream, but I do still have a small S corp for my book royalties and freelancing and blog ad network revenue. I am thankful I have a day job. I am thankful I don't have to fret over a dip in traffic or a late invoice. 

A lot of people do.

I've thought and thought about it, and I've complained here about capitalism at times. It seems nearly impossible for private industry to do good when it is measured on quarterly profits by a hungry Wall Street. How can it possibly make bottom-line sense to give money away? And that's why I don't like to see a lot of things privatized, no matter what the argument. The main argument, to me, is will they use their power for good or profit?

So I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Starbucks is donating five million dollars to seed a fund at the Opportunity Finance Network, which in turn will provide capital grants to select Community Development Financial Institutions (CDFIs). The CDFIs will provide loans to underserved community businesses, including: small business loans, community center financing, housing project financing and microfinance. 

Beginning November 1st, you may donate to this fund through the createjobsforusa.org website, or at Starbucks, and 100% of your donation will go directly to the fund. The really cool thing about this is that every $5 donation will result in $35 in financing to support community businesses, because the CDFI lenders will issue $30 in financing, on average, for each $5 donation. 

I know, right? Starbucks. Generally speaking, I try to buy my coffee locally. I know Starbucks put a lot of small businesses out of business -- that's capitalism -- it's like Darwinism. I actually don't know what prompted Starbucks to do this, but when huge corporations do the right thing, it's important to holler MORE. Maybe if other huge companies see people support this effort, they'll put their money back into the economy instead of into their bank accounts, too. This is probably one of the hardest times to get a small business loan of my lifetime. I'll support anything that will help the little guy, especially now. Maybe I'm so impressed I might mix in some Starbucks beans the next time I buy coffee at the grocery store. Way to go, Starbucks. Way to go.

The CEO of BlogHer, Lisa Stone (my friend and, oh, my CEO, who helped create the once-small-business that now has me on full-time payroll and provides me healthcare and puts food on the Arens table) is actually going to ask Starbucks Chairman and CEO Howard Schultz just those sorts of questions on a 15-minute conference call tomorrow, Tuesday, November 1 at 11 am PT/1 pm CT/2 pm ET. If you want to listen in, here are the details: 

Participant Number: 877-698-0629 

Conference Code: 23564006

I'm planning to listen in. If you want to submit a question, you can use this link.  

Tonight, I'm going to walk my little Mardi Gras girl around the neighborhood and enjoy the small stuff -- candy, lit pumpkins, the last remnants of people's mums, my favorite fall leaves (maples). I know there are folks out there who have gone months or years between jobs after a lay-off. I know I'm one of the lucky ones to have my Pixie Sticks all ready to go. I hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween and that life is good at your house. Thanks for reading and supporting me here, of being tolerant of the occasional sponsored whatever. It's tough all around, Ponyboy, but we're going to get through this. 

http://oascentral.blogher.org/RealMedia/ads/adstream_jx.ads/blogher.org/Jobs_Oct11_Badge_1/@x13

Beloved and I have two SUVs.  It wasn't on purpose.  I used to drive a 1994 Geo Prizm, blue, stick shift, and I LOVED THAT CAR.  I drove it until 2006, when I got t-boned on Ward Parkway by a much larger car. It bent the axle and totaled the Geo, which turned out to be worth a whopping $800.

I'm still bitter about it, if you can't tell.  Because to me, that car was worth so much more.  It was paid off, it got great gas mileage, and it as the last of the cars I named (Priscilla).  It was Pa's car before it was my car, and I bought it from Pa when I moved to Kansas City in 1998 for $3,000, which I paid for myself.  It's the last car I bought with cash.

So anyway, the "family car" at the time was my husband's 1998 Ford Explorer.  We were certain this Explorer would die a quick death, as we'd already replaced the rear axle to the tune of $1200 and the truck at the time had more than 100k miles on it.  We thought we'd get a new family car, then as soon as Beloved's truck died, we'd get another little Geo-like thing.

Except Beloved's car never died.  It's still kicking at 140k miles a full three years later.

Now trust me, I'm happy about that part.  And shocked that a Ford Explorer could really go that long with no more work since the rear axle, other than the battery my husband changed last weekend. (God, forgive my hubris and do not strike us down with a dead car tomorrow.)  But what to do?  Now we have two functioning Ford Explorers, one car payment, and two years left on a five-year loan that's put us pretty much upside down on the Explorer that I drive.

For a while, we contemplated trading the one I drive for something smaller and more economical.  However, we quickly realized that because of gas prices, nobody wants a used Explorer, and nobody is even going to give us what we owe on it to take it off our hands.

So,drat. I guess we'll have to pay it off, hope the second one lasts, and then make the switch at that point.

Which has me trying to eek out every drop of gasoline.  I used to think only old people griped about gas prices, but when it suddenly costs $120 a week to drive two urban assault vehicles, you start rethinking things.

I work from home as much as I can. I'm fortunate to be an editor, and that's a job that can be done from home.  Usually I work from home two days a week, and I thank my company greatly for it. So that helps a lot, just not having to drive forty miles round trip every day.  But I've also started driving SLOWER, which has Beloved fit to be tied.

Him: "Speed up. People are passing you on the right."

Me: "I'm in the middle lane.  This is the lane for people who need to get over soon but are driving slow."

Him: "Why are you driving so slow?  You're making me crazy."

Me: "I saw on the elevator slide show it saves you 3-5 miles per gallon to drive 65."

Him: "NOT YOU, TOO!  ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

So, you can see how well Beloved takes my conservation measures.  I'm not sure how well it's working, honestly, because we drive my truck on the weekends, which makes calculations difficult. I've also started trying to drive at least to work without the air conditioner on.  I know I'm nuts, but I don't really mind the Midwestern heat as much as a lot of people do. I'm not saying I love it or anything, but I've always found driving with all the windows down to be kind of exciting.  It's like being on a boat or something. This doesn't work out when I have to look good at the end of the trip, but if I'm just going home, whatever.  I'll sweat.  (Check in with me again once we go over 100 degrees more than two days in a row.  I think last summer we had 10 days in a row over 100 degrees, and 100 degrees with 80% humidity = steaming like broccoli.)

Will it work?  Will we survive?  I'm sure we will. But dang, I wish a nice Corolla would just drop out of the sky and free me from 17 mpg and an 18-gallon tank.  Turns out we miscalculated on that purchase.  Live and learn.