This morning I saw a post on BlogHer called "I've Never Had a Best Friend" by all.things.fadra. She wrote:

I used to get offended when I would meet people, especially people I really liked, and they would tell me about their “best friend back in Michigan” or the woman they’ve been friends with since the second grade.

I took it to mean: Hi. Nice to meet you. We can be friends but not that good of friends because that position has already been filled. And perhaps I stayed guarded in the friendship.

And I felt a pang, because I refer to my best friend in conversation as my best friend to people who don't know her and never mean to insinuate there's no more room in my heart for besties. 

In my case, I have a friend I've known since I was three years old. We've only not lived in the same metro area for two years of that 35-year period of time. When you know someone that long through so many phases of life, it's hard to compare it to any other friendship.

However.

It never occurred to me that my referring to her that way might drive away potential new friends. I've been blessed in my life to have had many friends who were the most active in my life at that moment and for whom I would go to great lengths to see or help. Some people -- whom I enjoy immensely -- I see in real life barely at all. Life at this juncture is so busy with the earning of money and the improving of still-clunky houses and the raising of children that it's a wonder I see anyone who doesn't live in my house or neighborhood ever. There are plenty of times when I'm free but they aren't or vice versa or it's just so dang hard to get off the ever-loving couch at the end of the day.

But every time I meet someone new, I look at them closely to see if we will be friends. I adore making new friends, new close friends, because friends are like your children -- your heart can make enough love for all of them, don't you think? You may not have enough time to see all of them every day or even every year, but your heart ... it doesn't get full. 

At least I don't feel that way.

This weekend the little angel's dance class performed.  We got her all gussied up in her costume, complete with hat, and hauled her down in the heat for dress rehearsal.  Her class was called up first. It was chaos in the studio, 90 degrees outside and probably 100 degrees inside, with about 100 people gathered around to watch.  The little angel dutifully followed her classmates, but on the way to the center of the wood-floor studio, she slipped in her tap shoes and fell, hard.

She got back up, but once the music started, she looked at me, her face crumpling, huge tears rolling down her cheeks.  There was an audible gasp from the crowd -- she looked that sad.  After she stood there for about ten seconds with this expression while her classmates performed, I held out my arms and my little girl ran to me, curling into the fetal position in my lap and sobbing.  She was overwhelmed, completely overwhelmed. 

After her class's rehearsal was done, I sent her over to sit with her teacher and watch how the other girls did it.  I could see her loosening up during the rest of the hour-long rehearsal, and by the time the school went outside to perform for the public, she was ready to go.  She marched out onto the stage with her little co-horts. They all forgot about half of the dance, but when you're four or five, it doesn't really matter.  She even smiled part of the time.  I thought my heart would burst.

FweetieB and her husband brought their daughter, S., to watch.  The little angel was SO EXCITED her best friend could be there to see her dance. Afterward we watched the two of them hold hands over to where they rode the little train and the ponies.  I think S. inspired the little angel to try again, and the little angel got S. on a pony.  Watching them fuel each other's self-confidence was touching, and so was knowing the little angel has such good friends, and friends with parents who will make sacrifices to come and see us way out in the suburbs.  We so appreciate that, and I know no matter what happens to the little angel in her life, she will always benefit from learning to be a good friend and having others be a good friend to her from the tender age of one or two.

It does something to you, when you have good friends. It makes it easier to get up on stage or on a pony or into a new job or city or college or whatever you're trying to achieve.  Good friends give you courage the way nothing else in life can.  Knowing you have people who will still love you if you fail often guarantees YOU WILL NOT FAIL.
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Winner of the Picture Perfect and Mia Software contests up at Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews.