You guys have totally got me about the Mominatrix t-shirt thing. I need to just suck it up and get Beloved to take the picture. I felt a little silly asking him to do it, I admit. Not because he doesn't like the shirt or doesn't like the site, but because I'm asking him to take a picture of me attempting to look halfway decent in a t-shirt on a Sunday afternoon. Sometimes I wonder what my family thinks of how into my blogerific life I actually am.

Actually, I am afraid to ask. I'm pretty sure they think I am a huge nerd, possibly trending to a narcissistic nerd. I mean, seriously? If you showed blog posts to someone in 1974, they'd be all WTFDOYOUTHINKYOUAREDOINGFOOL? Why do you have a photo of only your eyeballs on a computer? Or a cartoon version of yourself? WTFWTFWTF????????

The writing never bothers me. Promoting the writing never bothers me. Trying to take a decent photo of myself bothers me, because I either look unnaturally posed or matronly. That's why I have changed my profile picture on this blog twice since it became a photo of me and not of the little angel (back in the anonymous days of 2004 and 2005). The first one was taken by my professional photographer friend and the second was a desperate camera-phone attempt to make sure people knew I was me at BlogHer and not a bobbed, glasses-wearing, two-years-younger version of myself.

So. There you have it. I am a big wienie when it comes to having my photograph taken unless I trust the photographer has editing skillz. Which I totally do not.

But I will work on getting that t-shirt thing spelled forward. I can't believe I was so worried about getting the photo done I didn't even think about the laws of science. Kids? Are you listening?

FTC Disclosure: I got this shirt for $0. Everything else you see in these photos is mine.

Rita Arens Disclosure: No, I didn't dry my hair before embarking on this experiment.

So, does everyone know that Kristen Chase of Motherhood Uncensored fame (and also contributor to an awesome book called Sleep Is for the Weak) is the Mominatrix? She writes a sex column for mommies, oh, yes she does. And she's so good, she scored a book deal.

Coming in 2010, bitches.

So Kristen sent me a t-shirt and asked me to upload a photo of myself to her Mominatrix Flickr group. Sounds easy, right? How the hell do all these bloggers take photos of themselves?

 

Stolen from Amalah.

 

Stolen from Fussy.

 

And hello, Dolly, the Mominatrix herself.

I am a FAIL. So I need you to tell me which looks least asinine to upload for Mominatrix support. They are numbered.

 

1. Wow. That's not the right way to do it.

2. Yep, that's not right, either.

 

3. Casual? Not so casual. Clearly staged. Also? Where to look in the mirror? This sucks.

 

4. Still can't figure out where to look.

 

5. Maybe if I stuck out my chest more? My hand is SO BIG.

6. Stick out chest AND SMILE?  Still, nothing.

 

7. ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!

 

8. Eh?

9. Or eh?