This weekend we held The Baby Shower Heard Round the World for my best friend, Stephanie. I was asked to make a diaper cake for the shower. I looked it up online and found I would need 60 diapers rubber-banded together.

 

60 is, um, a lot.

I was supposed to use newborn diapers, but I've heard Steph's husband was 18 pounds when he was born (okay, maybe a little less), so I went with size 1. If you don't want Elmo to show, fold the design up inside.

The next step was to buy 8 yards of wide ribbon and 50 yards of narrow ribbon. I only used the narrow ribbon on the outer edge of each tier, so I totally could've gotten away with probably half the amount of narrow ribbon. I gave the overage to the little angel.

Next, you were supposed to use a baby bottle filled with candy for the center of the top tier, but Stephanie is much fancier than that, so I made a flower thingie.

 

The little angel chose these flowers from the bridal aisle at Hobby Lobby.

So then, you tie these itsy bitsy little bows around the rubber band on the outermost rows and sort of guess as to how many you need for each tier. Finally, hogtie the whole thing together into three tiers.

 

TA DA!!! My crafty magnum opus. This is all I've got.

Finally, when I was stuck in the Milwaukee airport for three years on Thursday, I asked my friend Sandee of Stems Flower Market (and who also sits across from me at work) how to make roses from Costco look pretty. She gave me some good advice.

 

Costco, bitches.

 

Ancient German secret.

 

These roses were so not open when I bought them. Sandee is a genius.

Happy shower, cute pregnant person! Can't wait to meet your baby girl. And neither can a certain redheaded person I happen to know well.