A few weeks ago, I found a blog post about a woman who did 300 sit-ups a day for 30 days and her abs looked totally different. I have no intention of doing 300 sit-ups every day, but there was a time when I could, and my core could use a little, well, tightening. So I wrote down the sets and thought I'd try doing them a few times a week to see what happened.

Hubris was mine. I was born with strong abdominal muscles. Even when I was completely out of shape as a child, I could always do more than the required amount of sit-ups in P.E. or for the Presidential Fitness Test. Sit-ups have always been my place to shine. No problem, I thought, to this 300 sit-ups business. I just need to get back in the groove.

I did the sets on Friday around noon. They were hard, I won't lie, but I was able to finish them and pick my ass off the floor afterward. Friday was totally normal.

Saturday, I woke up and was unable to lift my legs. Apparently, there is a muscle here:

I can't even tell you. It's like exactly where my legs connect to my torso. FIRE RAGING FIRE. Do my abs hurt? No. Do my upper thighs hurt? No. Hips? No. Butt? No. JUST WHATEVER THAT IS.

I went to bed last night in fear, because anyone who has ever worked out too hard knows the agony that is the TWO-DAY SORE. It's like your body saves up all the worst of it for the SECOND day after you overdo whatever it was you overdid. I woke up this morning and had to lift my legs with my arms to get out of bed, because there was no way I was going to flex whatever attaches my limbs to my body. I winced my way to the bathroom and found myself massaging analgesic cream into areas of my body I never thought I would and pounding Advil. About an hour ago I made Beloved go for a walk around the block with me, because even though I did not in any way wish to move, I know if you don't, the stiffness mixes with the TWO-DAY SORE and it's all downhill from there. I would like to be able to walk without looking like there is a pole up my butt by 2013.

So I can do my sit-ups again, because anything that brings the pain like that must work like gangbusters! Only this time, maybe I'll build up. Apparently, I'm not 17 anymore. Aging can suck it.

PS: I got the scientific drawing above from the Lloyd Release Procedure, which looks scary. I'm fairly certain I violated copyright law. I'm not exactly sure where to find safe anatomy images. I checked Wikimedia Commons and got nothing. Same with Flickr. Ideas?