I can't take the getting dark at 4:30 thing any more. I already spend all day in my house, working from home, which never bothers me during the spring, summer and fall but makes me insane during the winter. I totally realize I have it better than most because I have large windows and natural light during my workday, and quite frankly I could go outside any time I want to, but, you know, working.

But when it gets dark five minutes after the little angel gets home from school? That totally and completely sucks, because the dark is so dark with its inky darkness that then I must shut the blinds because after two years of being on display for the entire neighborhood, we have blinds, and I don't like feeling like the world is watching me eat dinner. But then with the blinds shut, the house seems smaller, and yes, the walls maybe even are closing in on us. It doesn't take much to make me crazy between the months of November and March.

It might also be the new cats. They are awesome, but I think I'm still mourning Petunia, whose habits I understood. She would always come and sit on my lap in the evenings. She would come to bed with me and sit on my arm and purr me to sleep. Sir Buttonsworth is still affectionate, but after a week of being picked up constantly, he prefers his space. I hope in time he'll crawl onto my lap again, but for now he's avoiding the little angel's bed and anyone's lap, preferring to sit nearby on a blanket. Kizzy alternates between throwing his little body against any surface in the house and passing out snoring because he's still fighting an upper respiratory infection. No kitty comes to bed with me, and yes, I'm totally having a pity party about it, because WTF a little over a week ago I had Petunia and I didn't have to shut her in the bathroom to keep her off the table during meals.

But change is the only constant in life. I know this funk will pass, but lengthening days would help, and not having it get dark until at least six pm would help. Sometimes I think the only reason they put Christmas around the solstice is because without the little twinkling lights we would all freak the hell out the closer we got to the shortest day of the year. The way it is, we don't, because we know a few days after we get to stuff our faces with sugar plums and feed the world's economy by giving each other a bunch of stuff we don't need and probably don't even necessarily want.

Wah, blerragagaghhhhhhhhhh. Bring on the solstice.