I'm on deadline today, so all I have to share is a giveaway for free tickets to the 2013 Kansas City Home Show and Flower, Lawn & Garden Show on Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews.
Took Buttonsworth to the vet today and we upped his insulin again. More later.
Hey, y'all. Here's my latest Goodreads giveaway. This is for a paperback copy. Scroll down for the latest Surrender, Dorothy post!
My parents and sister were down last weekend. Right before they left, my mom looked at me and said, "You seem happy." And she's right -- I am happy fairly consistently right now.
I would say I'm in a good place, only I no longer believe in good places and bad places, only places. One might think I'm happy because my novel just came out, but in actuality, I got totally anxious and angsty when I signed my contract, so good things happening for me professionally don't necessarily translate into good things happening to my mental health. I'm sure that seems ridiculous, but it happens all the time. Look at how many people -- particularly creative people -- fall apart a little right after they get a break. I think change is hard no matter what type of change it is, because it's fucking scary. Putting out a novel means I have to up my game next time, and people will read it and maybe hate it and talk about it -- so many things for my anxiety to grab onto.
I'm actually shocked I'm happy right now. Even though that sounds ridiculous.
Last Saturday I woke up snarly and snarled at Beloved and the little angel before I took her to ballet. As I was sitting there waiting for ballet to be done, I realized how familiar that snarl had felt, how I used to an extremely frequent snarler, and how I had committed to myself and my husband a few years ago to really stop snarling and try to look at the world more optimistically. I'm by nature melancholy, and it's a real effort for me to instantly see the good instead of the bad. However, I've noticed the more I work at it, the easier it is. When I snarled, he responded with, "Why are you yelling at me?" and I didn't know the answer to that question. I think I surprised him because I have not snarled quite like that in so long.
I sat there worrying I'd introduced a new tone into our house that was going to creep back into our lives. I texted him, called him, made sure he knew I didn't mean it and wanted to start the day again. And then we did, and my family showed up, and my mother's takeaway is that I seem happy.
I've learned to work toward happy. I still have mood swings, sometimes very bad ones, but I try not to show my irritability or randomly thrash those around me when my heart beats fast and the hair on the back of my neck stands up for absolutely no reason but my body chemistry. I pray with my daughter, and we talk about the best part of the trip instead of what went wrong, and I pet the cats and wish for the thousandth time I could invent a purring, warm neck wrap to wear around when they aren't available. I try to take advantage of sunny corners the minute I see them, even if it's just for a few minutes. I try to do one thing at a time and give that one thing my full attention.
And even then, sometimes it still doesn't work. Sometimes I find myself deep breathing and staring at the wall without knowing why, and in those times I've learned to ask myself what human need could be met right in that moment that would make me feel better. Am I cold? Am I stiff? Am I thirsty? Am I tired? Would I like some music, less music? Are my clothes itchy?
I tell people I spend as much time managing my anxiety as some people do managing diabetes or asthma. I no longer look at these little breaks as wasting time, because that makes me more anxious, and the faster I can get things under control, the more productive the day will actually be, the more creativity I will be able to bring to my work. If I am not anxious, I won't foist that tone on my household.
And so when my mother told me I seemed happy, I actually took it as a compliment more than an observation. I haven't always been a happy person, but I'm working toward that. I want to be a happy old person one of these days.
Why not?
THE OBVIOUS GAME update, for those of you who haven't gotten sick of me yet. (Hi, Ma!)
If you need a reset to your day, take four minutes and watch this completely bizarre but somehow satisfying video.
My Recurring Dream from André Chocron // Frokost Film on Vimeo.
Today is THE OBVIOUS GAME's official pub date, which means mostly you can now buy it in ebook form. Cheaper! Faster! Or you can just try to win it.
If you do end up reading it, writerly karma comes your way when you write reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. I write them, too. One can never have too much good karma.
DJ Nibbles loves YA
Since TOMORROW! Is THE OBVIOUS GAME's technical publication date (meaning you can finally buy it on NOOK and Kindle tomorrow on major booksellers' sites), I have been typing my damn fingers off for the past few months to spread the love around the blogosphere. (I am fully aware the entire Internet doesn't read my blog. Thank God. Some people on the Internet are super mean.)
Here are some guests posts and interviews that are already up, if you are interested.
The very lovely Neysa at B.O.O.K.L.I.F.E. let me guest post on her blog about making a character believable.
Here's an excerpt:
In the early drafts of THE OBVIOUS GAME, my main character, Diana, was too unlikable.Shewas all rough edges and whining. People would tell me that, and I wouldstruggle with that, because I wanted her to be realistic and goingthrough some really tough stuff, which in many cases does lead to pityparties.
Duringthe publisher querying process, my agent told me he thought the bookneeded to be funnier. I thought it ironic he wanted my anorexia novel tobe funnier, that it in fact might not get published because my anorexianovel wasn't funny enough.
Read the rest at B.O.O.K.L.I.F.E.!
Today I have a post up over at She Writes, which is a great community site for authors and writers. Here's an excerpt:
I am a writer who doesn't write every day.
There are very few of us, the writers who will admit publicly to notvaluing daily writing. Not just not doing it or scheduling it, but notseeing the point at all.
Let me back up. I know plenty of successful writers who are much moredisciplined than I am. They get up early or stay up late or tap awaywhile their kids leap around them. They have word counts and timelimits, and they produce good books -- even if they have day jobs-- at afairly consistent pace.
I won't do it.
Hi everyone-
There are a few giveaways running right now for THE OBVIOUS GAME. I thought I should tell you about them before they expire! I will most likely do another giveaway on Goodreads in a month or so.
Giveaway ends February 05, 2013.
See the giveaway detailsat Goodreads.
