No, not really. I'm writing this because I'm caught today in something of a 65-degree-long-bike-ride Sunday lethargic Monday. Why is it not still Sunday? 

Also, I started pinning things on Pinterest. I am not a design gal, nor do I have any fashion sense. I'm not really crafty. But I decided I would pin stuff that I find when I am doing my job that are awesome for one reason or another. I get nothing out of it if you look, but I'm telling you about it anyway because honestly, I can't think of anything else to say and wanted to move on with a new week on this blog. Huzzah! Check out the guy who made a giant portrait of Martin Luther King, Jr. entirely out of Rubik's cubes, thoughts on writing from Ira Glass and more.

On Monday, I talked to a business communication class at UMKC about business communication as it pertains to social media. I told them the story about how a commenter on this blog tried to get me fired from H&R Block years ago. I told them about how I started this blog anonymously and how I evolved to using my real name as my username for pretty much everything. I talked about strong language and politics and privacy.

They asked why I hated Facebook. And I tried to explain how it is when you don't grow up with something -- how that degree of visibility feels different to me. I know anyone with a screen can read my blog, but I also know that most people I know or am related to in real life don't. Or at least not every day. But I know people who are glued to Facebook for hours every day, lots of people, including, probably, from the looks on their faces, these students who I can't help but think of in my mind as kids, though they were sophomores and juniors in college.

Standing there trying to explain how I came to my job in Internet publishing back in 1999, what it was like to pop in the bubble, how this recession is maybe longer but not so different from that pop if that was your industry, going from a career started with very different public and private Ritas to just one now, what it used to be like to have the people with whom you worked really know nothing you didn't want them to know about your personal life, back when you could go to work without everyone knowing who you went to high school with or what you got for your birthday -- it's not so much that I oppose this information being out there -- obviously I don't, I think you take the chaff with the wheat -- but it's different than what they're growing up with. It's been something of a hard adjustment that varies by personality type, but it's one thing to grow up talking to your friends in this way from the get-go and another thing entirely to have started one way and had it evolve before the rules were established. Exhilerating, yes, exciting -- my life would not be the same without this technology -- but also at times disconcerting. It must be what it was like to start life riding in a carriage and end it changing your oil. To start life with only a radio and end it with a flatscreen.

I barely restrained myself from saying "when I was your age." I do think I also restrained from explaining I had a typewriter in college. It was an electronic typewriter that had this new-fangled thing in the side called a disk drive, which I never used. 

Okay, I have to go to my job on the Internet now before I find myself reaching for dentures.

I posted yesterday on BlogHer about Hillary Adams, whose father, Judge William Adams (a family court judge in Texas) beat her savagely with a belt when she was sixteen (I'm sure there were other times, but this is the one she caught on tape). This week, she got fed up and uploaded the video to YouTube. The rest of the story is here.

I put a trigger alert on my post because the whole thing is so disturbing. But Hillary is now a 23-year-old woman speaking out against abuse. The comments on the post are uplifting and heartbreaking at the same time. Stay safe today and hug your kids.

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Editor's Note: I was paid by BlogHer to write this post and conduct discussions on Chime.in. But the discussions were about blogs to books, so, you know, they didn't have to twist my arm very hard. Also, there's a really, really good giveaway at the end of this post.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by social media? I mean, here you are, reading this blog, so it's not like you don't know anything about it, and it's not like I don't, either, but I'll admit ever since there was more than blogging, I've felt like it's too much. I can't keep up with Facebook at all. I talk on Twitter, and I usually talk back to anyone who talks to me, but I don't try to keep up with everything everyone says. It's too much. As my good friend Average Jane put it back when the world Twitter was young, Twitter is a stream that you step in and out of at will, and you don't worry about what happened when you weren't there.

So now I've joined Tumblr and Pinterest and Google+ and most recently, Chime.in.

I heard about Chime.in at BlogHer Writers '11 because it was a sponsor, and I just joined because I am going to be leading a discussion about blogs and books for the next week. If you're interested in those topics, please do come join me.

I'm going to keep Chime.in about blogs and books, just as I've kept Tumblr straight about publishing and Pinterest completely random. Facebook, hell, I don't know what I'm doing at Facebook, but I'm 100% sure I'm not using it correctly. Twitter is just where I talk to online friends -- most of my real-life friends look at me cross-eyed when I talk about tweeting. That's how I'm managing all of this new social media, and I've found once I hit my stride at how I personally am categorizing things, it's something I look forward to using. I'm not trying to become a design queen on Pinterest -- I'm just pinning some things that are either pretty or really random. With Chime.in, I hope to be mentoring. I really enjoyed mentoring the anthology group at BlogHer Writers '11, and as I have done something of a blog to book, or at least anthologized blogs to books, I hope to pass along a little advice and encouragement this month at Chime.in.

Things I like about Chime.in so far:

• Really easy to join. Sign in with Twitter or Facebook. Sort of like robbing from Peter to pay Paul, except all of them are free. Or something. I'm not actually sure where this analogy is going.
• You can search on your interests and it just hands you groups to follow. I followed the bookish groups, since I've already decided how I'm going to specialize on Chime.in.
• Social media multi-tasking: Whatever you chime you can also send to Facebook and Twitter. I really appreciate this feature, because I have different friends on different platforms, and I like it that way. Let the randoms who for some crazy reason are following me on Google+ see my broadcast links there, and I'll stick to blogging and books on Chime.in. But you know, sometimes I might want to tweet it just to be absolutely crazy. I like having the option, regardless.

Those who have questions about blogs to books here in the past or those who are just curious? Join my thread on Chime.in. I'm hoping I'll get some questions over there, but if not, you know, I'll just talk about what happened to me.

And, as is awesome, after giving away two nooks on my review blog, I now get to give away a Kindle Fire. Yes, yes, yes. Comment here or participate in my blog-to-books discussions on Chime.in to enter. Official rules are here. My part of the contest ends on Monday, November 7 at midnight CT. Comments or discussions on Chime.in timestamped after midnight CT on November 7 won't be eligible for my part of the contest. But get ready -- I'm not the only blogger participating. My friends and colleagues Stephanie O'Dea, Karen Ballum of Sassymonkey Reads and Diane Lang of Momo Fali have Kindle Fires to give away, too!

• Tuesday, November 1 - Monday November 7 -- win here -- GIVEAWAY CLOSED: Congratulations, Linda Sherwood!
• Tuesday, November 8 - Monday November 14 -- win with Stephanie O'Dea Enter here -- GIVEAWAY CLOSED: Congratulations, Cheryl Moore!
• Tuesday, November 15 - Monday November 21 -- win with Momo Fali here and Matt Logelin here!
• Tuesday, November 22 - Monday November 28 -- win with Sassymonkey

See you there!

It's Halloween. And this year, we're handing out Pixie Sticks. It's a small thing, really. It's not that we can't afford chocolate candy, it's that we've chosen in every area of our lives to think hard about whether that purchase is a want or a need, how it fits in with all the other purchases, how much happiness it will actually bring us. Halloween candy just isn't that important.

I made my daughter's costume this year, where "made" equals "assembled." I based it around the purple Mardi Gras mask I got free at a blogging conference last year. She's got two tutus, a belly dancing skirt, beads, a tiara, some gaudy plastic rings, sparkly leggings and shiny shoes. We already had it all. Because spending $30 on a crappily made Halloween costume doesn't make sense, either. Not ever, really, but especially not this year.

We've been fortunate in that we haven't gone without unemployment since the load hit the fan, but we've worried about it, hard. We've talked about The Plan if one of us was to lose our job. We've switched our Internet around, dropped long distance on the home phone we keep for 911, limited eating out to once a week and started extreme couponing. We buy most of the little angel's and my clothes at our kickass local Goodwill or the gently used kid's store. We still have a rusted 1998 Ford Explorer with more miles than I thought possible for that vehicle.

We've pulled the little angel out of after-school care so we can save that extra money a month for emergency babysitting.  My husband is traveling weekly for his new job that he started three weeks ago, and our babysitter is $15 an hour and we have no family in town. I tried to line up a neighbor for parent-teacher conferences so we could both go, but then the neighbor girl got sick. People are always asking me why I can't come to this or that, but the tough reality for me is that I don't have free childcare, so -- as with purchases -- I have to carefully weigh everything I'm going to attend if my husband is traveling. And if it's across town and I have to add an extra hour of driving time, I'm probably not going anymore.

I'm picking up extra odd blogging jobs, and some of them are coming through here. I'm putting that money toward the credit cards. Too many business trips run through personal cards have messed up my grandiose payment plans. It feels like the balances never go down, despite all our best efforts. Beloved and I had a very frank talk about the cost of utilities, groceries. They are far outpacing our salaries. I thought we'd be rich once we stopped paying our mortgage in toddler childcare, but nothing has really changed. And it's because life -- healthcare, utilities, gas, groceries -- got way more expensive while we weren't looking. But we are very lucky: We still have jobs. We can keep it from getting worse as long as that job pipeline stays open.

My teacher friends have had their hours cut when school bonds didn't pass or states cut their funding. I'm on the board at The Writers Place, where I volunteer more hours a week than I should. We lost state funding this year for the arts. Beloved and I qualified for a refinance a few years ago because our house has lost so much value. It's not just us -- it's tough all around, Ponyboy, and probably worst for small business owners. I don't view Surrender, Dorothy as a main income stream, but I do still have a small S corp for my book royalties and freelancing and blog ad network revenue. I am thankful I have a day job. I am thankful I don't have to fret over a dip in traffic or a late invoice. 

A lot of people do.

I've thought and thought about it, and I've complained here about capitalism at times. It seems nearly impossible for private industry to do good when it is measured on quarterly profits by a hungry Wall Street. How can it possibly make bottom-line sense to give money away? And that's why I don't like to see a lot of things privatized, no matter what the argument. The main argument, to me, is will they use their power for good or profit?

So I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Starbucks is donating five million dollars to seed a fund at the Opportunity Finance Network, which in turn will provide capital grants to select Community Development Financial Institutions (CDFIs). The CDFIs will provide loans to underserved community businesses, including: small business loans, community center financing, housing project financing and microfinance. 

Beginning November 1st, you may donate to this fund through the createjobsforusa.org website, or at Starbucks, and 100% of your donation will go directly to the fund. The really cool thing about this is that every $5 donation will result in $35 in financing to support community businesses, because the CDFI lenders will issue $30 in financing, on average, for each $5 donation. 

I know, right? Starbucks. Generally speaking, I try to buy my coffee locally. I know Starbucks put a lot of small businesses out of business -- that's capitalism -- it's like Darwinism. I actually don't know what prompted Starbucks to do this, but when huge corporations do the right thing, it's important to holler MORE. Maybe if other huge companies see people support this effort, they'll put their money back into the economy instead of into their bank accounts, too. This is probably one of the hardest times to get a small business loan of my lifetime. I'll support anything that will help the little guy, especially now. Maybe I'm so impressed I might mix in some Starbucks beans the next time I buy coffee at the grocery store. Way to go, Starbucks. Way to go.

The CEO of BlogHer, Lisa Stone (my friend and, oh, my CEO, who helped create the once-small-business that now has me on full-time payroll and provides me healthcare and puts food on the Arens table) is actually going to ask Starbucks Chairman and CEO Howard Schultz just those sorts of questions on a 15-minute conference call tomorrow, Tuesday, November 1 at 11 am PT/1 pm CT/2 pm ET. If you want to listen in, here are the details: 

Participant Number: 877-698-0629 

Conference Code: 23564006

I'm planning to listen in. If you want to submit a question, you can use this link.  

Tonight, I'm going to walk my little Mardi Gras girl around the neighborhood and enjoy the small stuff -- candy, lit pumpkins, the last remnants of people's mums, my favorite fall leaves (maples). I know there are folks out there who have gone months or years between jobs after a lay-off. I know I'm one of the lucky ones to have my Pixie Sticks all ready to go. I hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween and that life is good at your house. Thanks for reading and supporting me here, of being tolerant of the occasional sponsored whatever. It's tough all around, Ponyboy, but we're going to get through this. 

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In 1998, I moved to Kansas City from Chicago in search of a new start. In 1999, I enrolled in the graduate writing program at the University of Missouri -- Kansas City. I kept working full time, and it took me four years to complete a two-year program ... four years of nights and weekends spent absorbing a novel a week, my short stories and poetry, detailed analyses of the merits or not of some other writer's work. 

Whenever someone asked me why I was doing it, I replied it wasn't for my work, I just wanted the degree.

I lied to myself.

I was afraid I couldn't make it as a writer, and if I told everyone I was going back to school to get better at it, then of course they would expect me to fulfill on that expectation. At the time, I'd been writing since third grade but had only had a few poems published here in there in the sort of chapbooks short on white space and long on printing margins. And also? The writing program itself was quickly shattering my confidence.

Advanced degrees will do that. You might be a big fish in the little pond of high school or even college, but when you get into a masters program, everyone there is paying dearly in money and time to accomplish something -- and they might be better at it than you are.

My ego took a huge beating. I had never undergone a serious writers workshop before -- the kind in which you turn in your short story and then sit there, silent, taking notes, while everyone around you describes what they liked and hated about it. They always started with the encouragement, of course, and I appreciated that, but I was eager and remiss to get to the part that would actually improve the work -- the critiques. And, they were sort of brutal. At that point in my writing career, my skin was translucent, it was so thin. I couldn't even handle criticism of my grammar, let alone my characters or plot. I held it together in class, usually, but the drive home would be clouded by tears. The worst part? The classes were at night, so they always ended at nineish or later and I would go home and be up until midnight contemplating my writerly sins.

Then I'd get up and go to work and if anyone asked, I'd tell them I just wanted to be a better writer, even if it never went anywhere.

And that was a lie.

Last Friday, I was gratified to spend a mind-blowing day with a bunch of truth-tellers at BlogHer Writers '11. 

Beginning Thursday night with the opening reception, I talked to writers who were being completely honest with themselves: They wanted to write a book. They wanted to succeed. They were prepared to own that, with all the fear of rejection and potential social humiliation that might come of it. It wasn't a huge group -- around 200 or so -- and I got a chance to talk to probably a third of them over the course of the day. My biggest takeaway? 

Stop lying to yourself. 

Stop telling yourself you don't really care.

Stop telling yourself you can't handle rejection.

Stop telling yourself you'll only try until a certain date or some other arbitrary deadline.

Stop telling yourself you can only achieve success by one path.

Stop telling yourself it matters to your friends or family if you don't hit it out of the park immediately.

Stop telling yourself you have no platform, nothing to share.

Stop telling yourself the only book you have in you is based on your blog.

Start listening to writers like Kathy Cano-Murillo, Jean Kwok, Ann Napolitano and Dominique Browning who shared their roads to success, bumps and all, and realize it's never painless, it's never easy, and it's always worth it.

Start believing in yourself (a command delivered to me by someone I was supposedly mentoring, ouch, when I fell back into I'm-an-imposter patterns out loud, eek).

Start setting smaller goals: 500 words, one query, one scene outlined. Move forward every week, no matter how tiny that move might feel.

Start surrounding yourself with positive people and other writers.

Start reading everything you can get your hands on and noting what you like or don't like about that writer's style.

Start scheduling time with yourself to work on your craft. Schedule it like it's a meeting or you won't do it.

Start saying "when" instead of "if." Success comes to those who are relentless in their pursuits.

Start telling yourself the truth. In my case, the truth is this: I want to be a published novelist. I wish it were enough for me to be a published anthologist, but it's not. So I'm taking the next steps.

I left on Saturday morning having spent a lot more time alone with my thoughts than I normally do at conferences. On the plane ride home, I took a lot of notes for the next novel and made lists of how I could support the one I'm currently querying. It occurred to me if you had told 1999 Rita walking into UMKC's registrar's office for the first time I'd be doing that on the way home from speaking at a national writing conference, I would've punched you for getting my hopes up. Back then, I was afraid to hope.

Funny how the world works.

A few weeks ago, the little angel and I found ourselves watching television in a hotel room in Topeka, Kansas. It was some chef show in which the pastry chefs had to recreate the edible forest in Willy Wonka for the original cast. 

And yes, at one point when I was watching it I did ask myself seriously?

In general, I don't like competitive reality television shows. I don't really enjoy public critiquing of any sort. I don't know why I'm a writer. But this show particularly bothered me because one woman who worked extra hard on -- well, should we say the group projects of the edible forest perhaps neglected her own stuff a little, you know, for the good of the whole. And since I'm not a reality TV afficionado or reviewer, I don't remember exactly what the judges said. But it went something like this: You should've been thinking of yourself more.

Basically, she contributed to the forest in general expecting to get credit for that and didn't really focus on her own dishes. And they sucked. I don't remember what they were, but the general consensus was that they were horrible, and when it came time for judgment day, the judges were all, you know, maybe focus on you a little more. Off with your head.

Okay, so I don't even remember if she was the one who got voted off. Beside the point.

The point is I thought to myself, well, that's pretty harsh. And it got me to thinking about the world of work and the world of writing and whether or not it's true that you should pretty much eschew the community for the sake of your own projects. Truly, there is a balance, but is it as bad as all that? Should we all be pitching each other aside in the hopes we'll make our own star shine brighter?

Perhaps we should if we are pastry chefs. See how much I learned?

But in general, I think that's a pretty shit philosophy. Right? RIGHT?

http://oascentral.blogher.org/RealMedia/ads/adstream_jx.ads/blogher.org/CoverGirl_Sep11_Review_001/@x13

The following is a sponsored post from the BlogHer Publishing Network review program and COVERGIRL. Don't judge, I'm saving to get Beloved a belated bday gift.

Also! Whenever there is a sponsored post, I will also write an editorial post that day. To see all the posts about eyelashes and mascara, check out the round-up on BlogHer.

---

I've never put a ton of stock in make-up. That said, much like putting on clothing made of something other than cotton and using hairspray, make-up helps me feel dressed and ready to leave my house. When I worked in downtown Kansas City, I wore full make-up every day. Now that I work from home, I usually only wear mascara/powder/blush. On the days I put on eye shadow and eyeliner and lipstick, boy howdy, something is getting done.

So let's talk mascara. I've always been blessed with lashes plenty thick and long. However, they have blond tips and are very hard to see without the help of good mascara. Unfortunately, the side effect of most mascaras is either a) smearing under my eyes -- I have long wished I could find a way to bottle the excessive oil from my skin and sell it on the black market to old ladies or b) clumping. The smearing seems to have improved since the midnineties in almost all brands, but the clumping is totally getting worse as each brand tries to let your lashes gain muscle without exercise.

Today we will be testing out COVERGIRL LashPerfection mascara. The fact sheet tells me it has *micro-chambers*. I am fascinated by a product that retails for $5.99 and has such technology. MICRO-CHAMBERS!

Here is a really horrible before picture showing you my bloodshot eyeballs but really attempting to show you the color of my lashes before the mascara.

Wow, is that ever unattractive. But necessary for the SCIENTIFIC TESTING. Also, I'm wearing no make-up in this photo. See that oil? How do I sell that oil? I'm trying to buy Beloved a birthday gift here.

As you can see, I have blond-tipped lashes which from afar look like they stop a few millimeters short of where they actually do without cosmetic aid. Also, they curl up pretty naturally, so I stopped using an eyelash curler after I accidentally bent my lashes in half and had to wait two days for them to go back to normal while walking around looking like an idiot.

In the foreground, we have the COVERGIRL LashPerfection wand without any mascara on it. I was attempting to photograph the MICROCHAMBERS, but they must be invisible to the human eye. In the background is another COVERGIRL mascara wand for comparison. I got it at the CVS booth at BlogHer and I can't remember what kind it is.

For comparison's sake, here's the wand of my normal favorite mascara coated with goo. I like this one because it comes off really easily.

AND NOW! MASCARA-OFF! (I wasn't asked to do this, I just thought it would make the post more interesting. And I was curious how COVERGIRL would do against a more-expensive-but-also-drugstore brand.)

It is really hard to take a picture of your own eyeball. This eye has the COVERGIRL LashPerfection on in brown. I did actually feel my eyelashes being lifted by the wand, which was interesting. Also, I'm wearing two coats here on my top lashes and was impressed with how separated they look.

Here's my old faithful in brown-black. Normally I would wipe away those clumps, but I had to show you, um, look! Clumping! It's not a huge difference, but there is a difference and my normal brand costs around $15 compared to the COVERGIRL at $5.99.

When it came time to take off the mascara, I just washed my face. I didn't seem to need eye make-up remover. It's not waterproof, but there also wasn't a lot of racoon eyes going on, either.

I have to say, I might switch.

And now! Who would like to win a $50 drugstore.com gift card for your efforts at looking at my eyelashes? Good luck!

Sweepstakes Rules:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

e) Enter between October 4-November 4.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older.

Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail.

You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

---

While we’re on the subject, you might want to check out the “Looking Your Best” posts in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com. There are some great application tips and ideas for switching up your look for fall!

Okay, so I realized I work at BlogHer. And I also realize I am moderating a panel at BlogHer Writers '11. So this is going to look very fake and sales-y, and that's actually not what I'm all about. I will be very direct if I am doing that.  Here is me being direct: I'm writing this post of my own volition and speaking only for me, not for BlogHer in any, way, shape or form. 

Now bear with me while I jump up and down around my library for a second, throwing hardbacks in the air with glee for the love of publishing. Ouch. Of course one just hit me in the head.

I am just really excited about this because it's going to be chock-full of Penguin Publishing editors, authors and publicists as well as a bunch of bloggers who have crossed the print line. And anyone who has read this blog ever knows that I am a publishing fiend, unable to resist any opportunity to find out more about the world's most confusing business. You'd think I'd know everything after a book, right? 

That is not true. Especially with what's happened in the past five years to publishing. 2008 feels like 25 years ago, not four.

There are no guarantees in life, but it never hurts to try for the face-to-face if the opportunity presents itself. 

The conference is three weeks away. It's in NYC. It's only one day -- Friday, October 21. There are basically two tracks -- one for newbies, one for people like me who have been through the publishing wringer before and have the glutton-for-punishment need to do it again. You can get the whole schedule here.

I'm moderating a panel about marketing -- my experience with BlogHer Book Club has been educational and so much fun for me. I've "met" online two of the three Penguin authors who will be speaking -- Jean Kwok (Girl in Translation) and Ann Napolitano (A Good Hard Look). (Haven't yet met or "met" Dominique%20Browning. Will have that on the docket, for sure.) Look! I even get to be on a panel with Jean.

Track 1: Your Role as Marketer in Today's Publishing World

Writers are–or need to be–marketers, and your command of social media provides a critical edge: both pre-book deal, to validate you have a following, and post-book publication, to help you sell your book. BlogHer editor Rita Arens (editor of Sleep is For the Weak) moderates a discussion with Penguin Business Development Manager Colleen Lindsay, author Jean Kwok (author of Girl in Translation), independent PR consultant Lauren Cerand, and Penguin marketer Lydia Hirt.

I'm also waiting eagerly to see old friends/speakers Kamy Wicoff, Carleen Brice, Jane Schonberger, Kathy Cano-Murillo, and a bunch of other heavy hitters I don't know well yet.

And ... the part I'm most excited about is the small-group mentoring. Here are the topics available:

Seeking fiction agent
- Seeking nonfiction agent
- Seeking help with a book proposal
- Memoir group
- Literary novel group
- Genre novel group (romance/mystery/thriller/scifi, etc.)
- Children’s (YA/middle grade/picture book)
- Humor/novelty (ex: LOLcats/Cake Wrecks, etc.)
- Cookbooks
- Shorter works/anthologies
- Expert platform nonfiction 
- Book blogging

That? Is something that never happens. Except it's happening. Next month. Good Lord, I can't wait. (For those who are wondering, the conference is $199.)

AM GIDDY. PLEASE TO JOIN.

END WRITERLY FREAK-OUT.

FOR NOW.