Today, Suz shares a favorite toy search tool:

“Searching for the perfect gift for a differently-abled child? The easy to use Toys R Us Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids allows you to search for products that help children focus on developing a specific skill - such as language, fine motor, or self-esteem - all through typical play. My toddler and self-taught toy expert, Evan, particularly loves the Little People: Animal Sounds Farm. What better way to practice speech and language than through Old MacDonald and moo’s and baa’s? An added plus is seeing the beautiful photographs of differently-abled models featured in the guide.”

If you’re looking to kick off the summer in high flying fashion, head to Wollaston Beach this Sunday (12-4pm) for the Friends of Wollaston Beach 2nd Annual Kite Festival. Families are invited to join in the fun (BYOK, or purchase one at the festival) with Kites Over New England and Sea Side Kites of Hull.

My best friend is getting married on Sunday.

My college roommates will be arriving soon. 

Four people are spending the night at my house on Friday.

We're grilling for somewhere from eight to ten people tomorrow night.

I'm meeting my parents an hour away to give them the little angel for the weekend (oh, and Blondie's seriously enormous, purchased-at-Home-Depot birthday gift) tomorrow morning.

A half-hour before I'm supposed to pick two friends up from the airport.

One of the people who is staying with me tomorrow night is allergic to cats.

Bella is going to the boarder's, but her dander must be banished as well as possible.

Bella is shedding all over the couch next to me as I type. (I'm working from home today.)

I'm working today.  I'm on a really important project.

We have found sponsors for book parties, and now I actually have to schedule them.

It's pouring.

I hope you have a fabulous Memorial Day weekend.  I've purchased copious amounts of alcohol, and soon as I address my horrifying to-do list, I'll be enjoying it with some of my very best friends in the whole world.  Enjoy the holiday.  See you Tuesday.

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Reviewing preservative-free spaghetti sauce at Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews.

While Laurel certainly has experienced her share of mommy or daddy-centric phases, these days she’s truly happiest when planted squarely between us. So it’s no surprise that she loves the clever Mom & Dad Butterfly Tee from Vera Plum. Offered in a variety of shirt shades for boys or girls, and also in onesie or tee format, the metallic silver graphic print is subtle yet sweetly representative. And given the way this design lovingly bridges the family unit, I also think it would be cool if Vera Plum eventually morphs this butterfly into Mom & Mom or Dad & Dad styles too.

Want to win a Vera Plum tee or onesie*? Here’s how:

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THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winner Dawn G.!
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Visit Vera Plum, then email contests@bostonmamas.com (with ‘Vera Plum’ in the subject), and name your favorite Vera Plum design.

One entry permitted per person; US entrants only.

Entry period closes at midnight EST, Thursday, May 22, 2008.

*Winner will receive a tee or onesie of their choice, subject to availability.

In my opinion, you can never be proactive enough about exploring women’s health issues and options, and this Saturday, the American College of Nurse-Midwives is sponsoring a free Women’s Health Expo at the Hynes. Geared towards women of all ages, the event will offer women a relaxed means to gain information and interact with women's health experts. In addition to midwife oriented content (e.g., for aspiring midwives, or those interested in learning about midwifery care), also available will be free health screenings, product and service resources, goodies, and giveaways. Attendees are also welcome to donate new or gently used baby blankets, which will be distributed to Boston area women's charities.

So last night I woke up in the middle of the night to the most heinous odor of all time.  A skunk had sprayed right outside our house, and our bedroom window was open.  I started crashing around like a crazy person, earplugs in and glasses off, trying to find the window to MAKE IT GO AWAY.

I don't think Beloved smelled it then or heard me, but ten minutes later he was up, gasping and spraying smelly spray around the bedroom. Bella the cat had the good sense to stay downstairs, where the windows had been closed. 

We wondered later if our black-and-white cat had attracted the skunk, a la Pepe le Pew, and it had sprayed in frustration in being unable to reach Her Hotness. 

So now, no snoring, but waking up from a skunk. It took me an hour to fall back asleep.

And in that hour, I sat there thinking I KNOW HE THOUGHT IT WAS ME.

Despite my classical training, I was a closet rocker (left truly speechless when I saw a live electric violinist for the first time), so it’s no surprise that I dig the baby rock revolution. And whether or not your kid plays a mean triangle, parents who dig a little edge will love Baby Rock Apparel. Offering everything from tunes to top to bottom designs for tots, Baby Rock has plenty of trendy, super comfy tees to carry your kid through spring and summer. Especially cool are their detailed graphic tees; we like giving props to Laurel's grandmas with the My Grandma Rocks design.

Want to win a Baby Rock Apparel tee or onesie*? Here’s how:

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THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winner Sara S.!
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Visit the Baby Rock Apparel collection, then email contests@bostonmamas.com (with ‘Baby Rock’ in the subject), and name a Baby Rock product you’d love to get for your little rocker.

One entry permitted per person; US entrants only.

Entry period closes at midnight EST, Wednesday, May 21, 2008.

*Winner will receive a tee or onesie of their choice, subject to availability.

And for those who wish to shop now, use coupon code BOSTONMAMAS for 15% off your order!

So today I took the day off to work on the book tour events and a bunch of posts for a new site I'll be writing for (hint:  preschoolers and what to do with them in Kansas City -- more details soon).  In the morning, before I started my marathon 3,000-word writing bonanza, I headed over to a friend's company (okay, they make jeans) to talk a little bit about blogs and blogger outreach.

We had a great old time, even though I was 15 minutes late and totally lost because the directions I printed out actually FLEW OUT THE WINDOW as I was driving.  Yeah, I'm cool.  Anyway, when I finally found the building, I went to the wrong entrance, cursed profusely, and jogged around to the right entrance. When I arrived, my buddy told me he'd seen the whole thing.  "You run like a girl," he said.

But! I got some really cool free jeans out of the whole affair, which I'll review shortly.  Although I've only tried on one pair so far (testing the old "gap protection" - think it can hold up to an 11-inch hip-to-waist ratio?), so far, I'm kind of shocked at how nicely they fit considering I totally guessed at what size I would wear. And we all know how shocking THAT is.

So!  I totally forgot to announce the winner of my edu-software contest.  So hurry on over to Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews to find out.  And stay tuned, because one of these days I'll get organized enough to put all the book signings into a widget or something equally informative. If only I could figure out how to use widgetbox. If anyone's in the know, please e-mail me.  I'm pathetic.

A local reader recently wrote in asking whether we could cover separation from the mom perspective. This mom is relocating across the country for work this summer, will be separated from her husband and child, and found little online in the way of tips for handling separation, particularly as a mom. I am grateful to my guest contributors who chimed in for collective editorial, offering tips to prepare for and handle separation.

BEFORE YOU GO...

Talk about the separation in advance. It’s understandable that you might not want to bring up stressful topics with your child, but it’s important to prepare them for the separation. Go with an age appropriate level of detail; for example, tell your child you are leaving, where you are going, the departure date (in terms of tomorrow, next week, next month, etc.), when you will be back (they may not have the long-term concept of time, but familiarizing them with units of time will help the parent who is staying at home), and how much you’ll miss the child.

Have fun with geography. For preschoolers and up, make a game out of the above discussions of separation. You can look at maps together, or even better, play together with map puzzles, where you can make a game out of connecting your two locations while you talk about where you are going.

Update your technology. Make sure your computer equipment is up to date and ready to go. If you're a one-computer family and you'll be gone a long time, consider getting a second computer for easy communication. Get any equipment or software fixed or upgraded before you leave town and make sure you have high-speed Internet.

Be explicit with your partner. Think about what information you will want updates on while you are gone. Parents process the information about what their kids are doing differently, so if you're calling for an update, and your partner has no idea what specifics are important for you, certain things may not be on his/her radar. Make a list of any particulars (e.g., developmental milestones) so your partner will know what kind of updates you’re interested in.

Prepare for transitions and routines. If the partner who is leaving is solely responsible for any regular activity (e.g., bath time), transfer or start sharing the responsibility for that task to the partner who is staying sooner rather than later, to help smooth the transition.

FOR THE PARENT WHO IS HOME...

Allow your child to embrace the feelings. Distraction is a key parenting technique when a child is upset, but it’s also healthy and normal for children to be able to express sadness and work through it before moving on, particularly with something major like a parent being gone. For example, you can acknowledge the feeling by saying, “I know you miss Mom… I miss her too,” and then suggest looking at favorite photos, or making a card or piece of art for her. Activities like this will allow your child to feel what they are feeling while finding a positive and constructive outlet for their sad feelings.

Save some fun rituals for the parent who is away. Whether it’s via a song, a place that child and parent like to go together, or a shared activity, allow for preservation of special rituals between your child and the parent who is away. These acts can serve as important time touchstones. For example, associating simple projects with one parent (“We'll make muffins together when Mama is home this weekend”) can help create a sense of stability even in separation.

Bonding with backups. If you are fortunate to have grandparents or other relatives nearby, ask for help, or accept help when offered. The presence of other family members not only can create a fun sense of newness or distraction via novelty, but also serves to enhance intergenerational or cross-family bonds.

Get a small treat for each day of separation. Depending on how long the separation is, signify each day (or every few days, or once a week) with a small treat. Keep the gifts small for most days (e.g., colored pencils, hair ribbon, glitter nail polish, bubble mix), but every now and then, make the day's present something a little more significant (e.g., a book or DVD). Put each gift in a small paper bag and label the bag with the date. Then put all the bags in a big bag or box and have your child open one present for each labeled day.

Mark the calendar. Create a big calendar on a piece of poster board to visually demonstrate how many days there are until the parent returns. Give your child a cool sticker to put up at the end of each day that passes. This will offer a tangible means for the child to see or count how many days, sleeps, etc. until the other parent returns.

FOR THE PARENT WHO IS AWAY...

Call in daily. Ask your partner to use speakerphone if possible, so you can hear everyone at the same time and feel like a part of the household even in absentia. (Speakerphone is also easier for small children who may not have mastered the art of holding and speaking into a telephone.)

Schedule video chats. Video chats offer a wonderful way for kids and parents to connect visually. The frequency and length will depend on your child’s age, but even brief video chats (or babbles!) with a baby/toddler are a wonderful way to keep the traveling parent’s image near and dear.

Record yourself. Record yourself reading your child’s favorite bedtime story to help ease bedtime rituals and provide a reminder of you for your child.

Keep photos of your child with you. Photos can help ease the ache of separation and you don’t need to haul around a brag book. It’s easy to store photos in PDAs and phones, and if your partner has the right technology, ask if he/she can snap and email you photos periodically.

Send mail. Kids love receiving mail. While you are away, send simple notes; if you like, enclose a fun pack of stickers or other small treat every now and then.

Don’t forget about your partner. Consider some small surprises for your partner as well. And after your child is in bed, try to connect again over the phone for a grown up chat to nurture your relationship too.

Try not to take it personally. Accept that your child will bond more with your partner or other adults in your absence, and try not to be hurt or offended. Things will happen while you're gone, and it's best to be excited and supportive about them (for example, “You went to the amusement park with Daddy? That's great! Tell me all about it!”). Your child loves you and will still love you once the period of separation is over.

Try to get beyond the guilt. Allow that this will be a difficult time. Cry if you have to. Call as often as you need to. And while you’re away, plan some things that you haven't had time to do since having the baby and try to get beyond the guilt and enjoy yourself. Don't punish yourself for leaving...kids are resilient and you will get back to your former closeness when you return.

Create a historical record. No doubt you will experience a range of emotions and experiences while separated from your child. Whether via handwritten journal or a blog (be sure to set up password protection if you’d like to keep the blog personal to your family), consider writing about this unusual period for your family. It will be something you all can look back on in the future, and will provide a novel outlet for you, since no doubt you probablyhaven’t had much time to journal since your baby arrived!

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Do you have a tip for handling family separation? Please feel welcome to leave a comment below!