I'm planning on being off the grid for most of the weekend on a fun little adventure with Laurel and Violet (feel free to follow along on Instagram!) so I wanted to share this week's edition of Hey Internet, Keep Being Awesome a little early. Enjoy this roundup of reads and visuals that caught my eye, and be sure to check out the 34-event Weekend Roundup if you're looking for something to do this weekend! Have a wonderful weekend!

- So thrilled about the launch of ONE’s Girls & Women site!

- Because PANDAS.

- Honored to be on this list of top 25 family travel blogs!

- Incredibly proud of my friend Katherine Stone for helping so many women rise from postpartum depression.

- How to create the perfect gallery wall.

- This is what happened when I drove my Mercedes to pick up food stamps.

- Then and now photos.

- I think Massachusetts deserves higher than #13 but I’m totally biased.

- Moscato mojitos -- a friend made these last weekend and they were delicious!

- World Cup soccer stats erase the sport’s most dominant players: women.

Image credit: lemon pie ice cream via Pinterest

While I was en route to California this past weekend, I was so happy to have some quiet time to read through more of the Boston Mamas survey comments. Among the responses was a question that fit well both for the Dear Boston Mamas column, and given that I just guest posted at Rookie Moms about what I have learned in having a second child. Of course, a lot of the below would apply to 2+ children as well; if you have additional thoughts to share, feel free to do so in the comments!

Question: How is life with two kids? We are expecting #2 and I know it will be different but how? How are you managing? Is baby #2 on a schedule or on older child's schedule?

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Dear Lovely Reader:

Obviously, not every day of parenting is easy, but in general, I will say that I have been amazed by how wonderful life with two kids is. After several years of struggling with infertility, I finally made my peace with being a family of three. After which point of course I got pregnant. But from the very beginning Violet has felt as if she belongs with us. We feel so blessed.

It also has been excellent to experience parenting through a new lens; specifically, that of a laid back, experienced parent. I know it's not the same for everyone, but I have heard many people comment that subsequent kids are more laid back because their parents are more laid back, and this certainly has been the case for us.

Now, to address your questions about logistics: adding a new person to a family does, of course, involve adjustment. Here is how our transition has shaken out:

Morning routine: The period immediately coming home was the most chaotic, particularly since school was in session for Laurel and we still needed to be organized enough to get lunches together, keep on top of homework, and so forth. Since I was nursing and thus up with Violet quite a bit during the night, we simply decided that Jon would be the point person for Laurel in the morning. If I got up and could help, it was a bonus, but otherwise, Jon was on point to negotiate breakfast, finish Laurel's lunch packing (to cut down on morning chaos we assemble most of it the night before), handle the dreaded hair combing (admittedly, many days during that period of time it was rather nest-like...), make sure Laurel brushed her teeth, and get her off to school. Gradually, however, I was able to get back to helping, and now we're all up at pretty much the same time so it works out fine. Violet usually crawls around and pulls up on Laurel's chair while we take care of the morning routine.

During the day -- sleeping: This time around we're totally not worrying about watching the clock and sticking Violet to a sleep schedule, and it's been interesting to see Violet fall into a pattern naturally. In general, she's now up between 6:30am - 7:30pm and takes two naps during the day (like Laurel, she's a short napper -- usually just 45 minutes or so each time). But instead of trying to force naps on the clock, we wait until she's tired or just falls asleep (e.g., in stroller). It's so much easier and it's been great to put an awake but drowsy baby in the crib, walk away, and have her fall asleep on her own!

During the day -- eating: While we are very flexible about Violet's napping, the one thing I do try to pay attention to is her eating schedule. Because rather like me, Violet is much more affected in the cranky department by hunger than fatigue! Also, I found that the scheduling/details got a little more complicated when Violet started solids and I needed to keep track of what she was eating (to keep an eye out for allergies) and how to fit in solid feedings with nursing. Regarding suggested food process and schedule, I have found HappyBaby: The Organic Guide to Baby's First 24 Months (which was sent to me by the company) super helpful. And now that we're a couple of months into solid foods and we're on to real meals (vs. little bits of solids simply for exposure), we're now happily in a rhythm where Violet has solid foods at regular mealtimes and breastmilk first thing in the morning, as between-meal snacks, and at bedtime. Basically, it's easier to remember when to feed her because her solid food intake generally corresponds to our mealtimes!

Bedtime: One of the more challenging elements for us at the beginning was the end of the day. Pre-Violet, we used to put Laurel to bed and then the rest of the evening would be time for Jon and me to connect or for both of us to catch up on home and work matters. Early on Violet napped more during the day and was very awake during the window between Laurel and our bedtimes so Jon and I felt rather lacking in downtime. However, in the last couple of months, Violet has fallen into a pattern where she is ready to call it a night right around Laurel's bedtime. That has been quite lovely!

How the two kids' schedules intersect: Another major reason we don't fret over Violet's sleep schedule is because we have an elementary school aged kid with fixed things such as soccer practice or birthday parties or playdates on her schedule. Often times, Violet is a companion to many of Laurel's events -- we don't worry about the napping element (she tends to just fall asleep if she needs to on the go), but I do make sure I bring along food for her if we're going to be out during a meal. Also, I'm still nursing, so we always have extra nourishment at the ready if need be.

Every family system varies, and I would suggest that the most important thing to remember at the beginning is that yes, some days will be really, really hard, but that you will fall into a routine eventually and things will get easier. Good luck and let me know if you have any other questions!

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Image credit: Christine Koh (those are Laurel and Violet's feet!)

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Have a question for Christine? Drop her a line! And of course feel free to comment in if you have recommendations beyond those made above.

Today, Kate recommends a thought provoking book about motherhood:

“The essayist Caitlin Flanagan has developed a successful career writing thoughtfully and often with acerbic humor on issues of family, marriage, motherhood, and feminism. She courts controversy by raising uncomfortable questions about whether men or women are better suited to housework, whether small children should be cared for by anyone other than their mothers, and whether contemporary women are fundamentally unsuited to accept the sacrifices required by marriage. She points at working mothers, stay-at-home mothers, and work-at-home mothers -- in other words, all of us -- and asks us to look into ourselves to understand our motivations, our compromises, and our choices and their impacts on our children. She is also the mother of twin boys, and a breast cancer survivor.
Her fascinatingly readable 2006 collection of essays To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife is the kind of book that you may love or you may hate but you won't be able to avoid thinking about. From her analysis of the Martha Stewart phenomenon to her description of her own postpartum depression and isolation -- a chapter that rang true for me -- Flanagan is honest about her own flaws as a mother and so allows her readers to be the same. The result is enlightening, engaging, guilt-inducing, and often laugh-out-loud funny. Whether you know her work from magazines like The New Yorker and The Atlantic or are coming to her fresh, Flanagan and To Hell with All That are worth getting to know.”

Minding your intake during the holidays can be challenging for anyone, and even more so when you’re eating for two. Yes, you’re expected to consume extra calories (thought in general, it’s only about 300 calories, which isn’t a lot when you stack it up in terms of holiday cookies), but it’s important to make the calories count in a healthful way. This month, in my role as a March of Dimes mom, the discussion is around healthy eating and weight gain during pregnancy. Here are some of my key recommendations for healthful pregnancy habits; many are applicable to the non-pregnant crowd as well.
No two pregnant women are exactly alike. The topic of weight gain typically is a source of despair for pregnant women and I always like to remind my pregnant friends that no two pregnant women are exactly alike. Yes, there are general guidelines to keep in mind (see the March of Dimes's helpful guidelines for weight gain during pregnancy) but your history, body type, baby, etc., will be different than others. Cut yourself some slack and don’t compare yourself to others who are gaining less weight than you are. Keep checking in with your doctor, and so long as you are following a healthful trajectory, let nature run its course.

Fill up on fruits and veggies. It can be harder during the winter months to be excited about fruits and veggies, but these foods are key to a healthy person (pregnant or not). Before you hit the holiday party circuit snack on fruit so you’re not visiting the buffet table on an empty stomach. Or if you can’t stand eating raw veggies during the cold months, make soup with broth and loads of cut up veggies or make a vegetable-laden stir fry (even better, add tofu to the soup and/or stir fry). Another tip: to increase my green intake, I recently started adding a big handful of mesclun to my dinner plate every day. The leafy greens prevent overloading the plate with comfort food, and the mesclun serves well as a backdrop for a variety of foods (e.g., Brussels sprouts, risotto, fish, chicken tenders, etc.).

Carry healthful snacks at all times. I am definitely one of those supremely grouchy-when-hungry type people and when I was pregnant it was more important than ever to carry snacks with me at all times. I worked right up to delivery so I found it helpful on Sunday nights to cut up a big pile of vegetables (carrots, cucumbers, etc.) so it would be easy for me to pack a container of veggies for on-the-go snacking during the work week. I ate so many cucumbers during my pregnancy that my supervisor actually called me Kohcumber. I also usually had an apple in my bag at any given moment, and a bag of dried nuts and fruit. And water, always water.

Water, water, and more water. I just mentioned water, right? It’s really important (again, pregnant or not). I’m actually primarily a water person (I don’t drink soda and rarely drink juice) and I always toted a bottle with me when I was pregnant.

Enjoy avocados. People sometimes avoid avocados because of their fat content but it’s good fat. Plus, they’re high in fiber (which, um, you really need when you’re pregnant), as well as in vitamin K, potassium, folate, and vitamin B6. I started eating avocados regularly during pregnancy and while breastfeeding (considering it my “magic mama food”) and it has since remained a regular purchase when we shop. Jon, Laurel, and I all love to eat them, whether in sandwiches or smashed up as guacamole.

Don’t deprive yourself. Having grown up in a sweet deprived household, I can speak firsthand about how deprivation makes people even crazier than if you allow for moderation. I eat healthfully and did so when I was pregnant with Laurel, and I enjoyed treats in moderation. My lifesaver as I waddled around during my last trimester in the extreme heat of summer? Soft serve twist cones.

Go organic. Regular readers know I’m a longtime proponent of green living. I know a lot of folks turn towards organics when it’s time to introduce baby to solids, and I encourage organic eating while pregnant (and beyond) too. It’s good for you and for baby. You can read a bit about the organic movement via this post, and I also recommend reading this excellent CSA 101 post, which includes leads for Boston-area CSAs.

Find fitness. In addition to being mindful about what you're putting in your body, it's also important to find fitness; being fit will help you through your delivery. When I was pregnant with Laurel I kept things low impact but was able to stay strong and toned by walking everywhere and also swimming laps (all the way up to the day before Laurel was born!). Swimming was particularly excellent in the final trimester because it offered a welcome feeling of weightlessness and was very peaceful. However, since walking outside and getting in and out of a pool probably seem less appealing now that it's winter, I recommend some light cardio, stretching, and yoga at home. I'm a big fan of the free (well, included with cable) ExerciseTV programming On Demand; you just can't beat the convenience.

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Image credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

November is Prematurity Awareness Month and this year Bloggers Unite is partnering with the March of Dimes in support of the Fight for Preemies. The goal of the campaign is to have 500 bloggers post about a baby they love on or before Prematurity Awareness Day (November 17) to create awareness of the ongoing need for prematurity research funding. Today, in support of the campaign and in my role as a March of Dimes mom, I’m sharing the story of my niece Alyssa, with heartfelt gratitude to her parents for their candor and willingness to have me write this post.

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My brother George and his wife Estelle were the first in our family to get pregnant. It was not an easy course (multiple rounds of in vitro fertilization were required) but there was so much joy when we all learned that they were expecting twins. But then there was heartache. Estelle’s pregnancy progressed well up to week 20; healthy heartbeats were detected at her 20 week ultrasound. However, at the 21 week ultrasound, only one heartbeat was present: Twin B (Alyssa). The heartbeat for Twin A (Phoebe) could not be detected and at that stage, there was nothing to do but continue to carry both babies to delivery.

At 29 weeks, Estelle’s water broke in Phoebe's sac and labor started. Estelle was admitted to the hospital and the medical team attempted to hold off Alyssa’s delivery. At 30 weeks Phoebe was delivered stillborn vaginally and Alyssa was delivered via C-section. Alyssa weighed 3 lbs, 8 oz and was 15 inches in length. She remained in the NICU for 5 weeks. While in the NICU, Alyssa was on CPAP, had apnea and jaundice, required a blood transfusion, and caught a staph infection. She was discharged healthy but later required Early Intervention to cope with delays in physical and receptive language skills. The cause of Phoebe’s death was unknown.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget my visit to see Alyssa at the NICU. At the time, I really hadn’t been around many babies, much less tiny and frail ones. I was both eager to see her and also scared and uncertain. I didn’t want to do anything that could possibly hurt or infect her so as I crouched next to her isolette, overwhelmed by both the site of her and the stress and sadness George and Estelle both carried, I did the only thing a music and brain scientist could think to do: I sang. Softly, melodically, and with tears in my eyes.

That brief yet powerful moment in time will never leave me. It shaped my work when I was in academia (I helped launch a research program to evaluate the effects of music to help soothe stress responses of premature babies during medical procedures) and it has shaped my commitment to causes via Boston Mamas (such as raising funds for the March for Babies and becoming a March of Dimes mom). I felt such gratitude – and perhaps a little guilt too – when I sailed to term (actually, beyond term: 42 weeks) with Laurel. I cried during my delivery because I had been planning on and hoping for a natural delivery and instead underwent an emergency C-section. But I kept reminding myself that I was enormously lucky. My girl was coming out and she was fine. Estelle had to face delivering a premature and a stillborn baby. My heart aches just thinking about her experience.

Alyssa is now 6 years old. She is thriving (actually, maybe more than thriving; I can barely keep up with her…) and rarely gets sick. She’s developmentally totally on track (she actually skipped a grade) and runs, jumps, plays, and pirouettes with the best of them. And with the love and dedication of her parents, I don’t think she will ever forget Phoebe, or the fact that a lot of people have worked very hard to ensure her health, development, and happiness.

Estelle related to me that at the time of Alyssa’s birth, the March of Dimes did not have a large presence at their NICU. Since then, the MoD has developed a large presence through the work of a program called CNAC (Chapter-NICU Action Committee) in conjunction with their NICU Family Support program. Many changes have been implemented to make the NICU more family centered; bereavement support also now is offered. And while all of this change no doubt leads to some longing and bittersweet emotions, instead of lingering on wishing for things that could have been when Alyssa was in the NICU, Estelle has become active with this MoD program to help it continue to grow and thrive. And George is the driving force behind raising funds for their annual March for Babies walk.

I have so much love and admiration for George, Estelle, and Alyssa (and for little Phoebe, who I wish we all could have seen grow up alongside Alyssa). I am honored to tell their story here and I hope you will consider sharing it, and/or your own, in support of the Fight for Preemies.

Per my role as a March of Dimes mom (through which I will donate one post per month to pre-pregnancy, pregnancy, newborn, or general family topics), this month I wanted to share some tips on safeguarding your home; these tips are important to consider before bringing a baby home and while you have small children in the house. I extracted and adapted these ten tips from a home safety checklist guide prepared by the March of Dimes with the assistance of Dr. Ruth Etzel (Director, Division of Epidemiology and Risk Assessment, Food Safety and Inspection Service, U.S. Department of Agriculture, and editor of the Handbook of Pediatric Environmental Health).
1. Stop smoking.

Children’s homes should be smoke-free -- both before and after birth. Smoking during pregnancy can cause premature birth, low birth weight (less than 5-1/2 pounds), poor growth in the womb, and subtle learning and behavioral problems -- as well as health problems -- in children. It also increases your risk of miscarriage, stillbirth, placental problems, and having a baby who dies of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Even if you don't smoke yourself, regular exposure to second-hand smoke during your pregnancy puts you at greater risk of these serious complications.

2. Check for lead paint.

The older your home, the more likely it is to contain lead-based paint, which poses special health risks for pregnant women and children (e.g., miscarriage, preterm labor, or having a baby with developmental delays). Newer homes are less likely to contain lead paint, which has been almost eliminated since 1977. The greatest risk lies in homes built before 1950; they are most likely to have deteriorating surfaces covered with paint containing high levels of lead. When paint peels, chips, or is released into the air as dust (when opening or closing windows, for example), lead can be inhaled or ingested if a baby puts paint chips or dusty fingers into its mouth.

3. Consider renovations carefully.

If you're pregnant and live in a pre-1950 home, you probably don't need to be overly concerned about lead exposure if all painted surfaces are in good shape. But if you are planning any renovations, this could expose you, your baby, and any young children in your home to high levels of lead. Before renovating, test the paint for lead (your local health department can recommend experts). If lead is found, stay elsewhere while professionals handle lead paint removal.

4. Check for water damage.

Water damage from flooding, roof, or plumbing leaks can lead to the growth of molds. Some molds are very dangerous to newborns, so it’s very important to take care of water damaged areas before your baby comes home. Mold spores can get into the air and cause health problems when inhaled. One of the deadliest types of mold (Stachybotrys atra) looks black and slimy and grows mainly on water-damaged wood, ceiling tiles, carpets, and paper products. Indoor exposure to this mold has been linked to lung bleeding and sudden death among young infants. Older children may suffer allergy symptoms including nasal stuffiness, sneezing, coughing and eye irritation.

5. Check appliances.

Most homes have fuel-burning appliances, such as gas stoves, gas water heaters, gas-powered clothes dryers, wood-burning stoves, space heaters, and gas or oil furnaces. If these are not correctly installed and maintained, they can emit carbon monoxide (CO) during use. CO is a colorless, odorless gas that accounts for hundreds of poisoning deaths each year in the United States. Pregnant women, their unborn babies, and children are most vulnerable to its life-threatening effects. Be sure to get all fuel-burning appliances, chimneys, and furnaces checked by a professional once a year or as recommended by the manufacturer. And install a CO detector outside your sleeping area.

6. Check your basement.

In certain areas of the U.S., Americans are exposed to radon, another colorless, odorless gas. It comes from the decay of radium in rocks and soil and enters the home through cracks in the foundations, porous cinderblocks, and granite walls, so exposures are generally higher in basements than on the first floor. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) recommends that all homes be tested for radon. You can buy an inexpensive kit that measures the amount of radon in the air in your home. If the radon level is found to be higher than 4 picocuries per liter (4 pCi/L), make repairs where necessary, including sealing cracks in the foundation. You also can reduce radon exposure with good ventilation.

7. Check your well water.

If you use well water, check it for levels of nitrogen-containing substances called nitrates. Infants fed formula made with well water containing nitrates are at risk of developing a potentially life-threatening blood disorder called methemoglobinemia. Babies with this disorder suffer changes in their blood that make it unable to carry enough oxygen to their vital organs. Call your local health department for water testing help and information.

Note that it's safe to breastfeed your baby, even if you have been drinking nitrate-contaminated water. Babies do not appear to be affected by nitrates their mothers may drink, nor is there any proven risk to your fetus from nitrates you consume during pregnancy.

8. Check your tap water.

Tap water may contain lead, a special risk to pregnant women, babies, and young children. Most large municipal water supplies now are lead-free, but some homes still have high lead levels in their water because it passes through lead pipes that connect water mains to homes, or through lead solder used to connect the pipes. If you're planning to use tap water to make formula, you can have your water tested for lead before your baby is born; contact your local health department or the EPA's Safe Drinking Water Hotline at 1-800-426-4791 or on the web.

Also, to minimize exposure to lead, let your faucet run for two minutes first thing in the morning, to flush out water that has been standing in pipes overnight.

9. Home crafters, beware!

Many artists work in home studios, which can be problematic given that many arts and crafts materials commonly used in painting, drawing, silk-screening, shellacking, ceramics, paper mache, and stained glass contain ingredients that are dangerous to fetuses, babies, and children. Pregnant women and babies should not inhale fumes from art materials and should avoid skin contact because the material may be absorbed through the skin, or get into the eyes or mouth.

When buying or using arts and crafts materials, read the labels and carefully follow instructions for all materials. Also make sure the product has been evaluated by a toxicologist; buy only products labeled "conforms to ASTM D4236," and bearing the seal of the Art and Creative Materials Institute (ACMI). When working on arts and crafts projects, ventilate the work area, wear protective gloves if you're pregnant, store materials in original, fully labeled containers out of the reach of children, and never eat or drink in your work area.

10. Avoid home and yard pesticides.

Try to avoid pesticide use if you're pregnant or have a baby or young children in the home. While there is little evidence that common low-level exposure to pesticides harms the fetus, some studies suggest that higher levels may increase the risk of birth defects. Because these substances are poisons, they pose a risk to babies who touch or crawl on treated surfaces such as carpets, floors, or grass.

If your home must be treated, use bait stations instead of spraying whenever possible. If indoor spraying must be done, stay out of the home, and keep babies and children out, while it's being treated and for several hours afterward. Clear away all food, dishes, and utensils from areas to be treated, including cabinets or drawers. Be sure the home is well ventilated during and after treatment. After the treatment, have someone else wash off any surfaces on which food is prepared or served, and make sure treated areas are well vacuumed or mopped.

If your property must be treated, have someone else apply pesticides or herbicides (weed killers). If chemicals are sprayed outdoors, close the windows and turn off the air conditioning so fumes won't be drawn into the home. Cover children's sandboxes and outdoor play equipment before such spraying. And wear protective gloves when gardening to avoid skin contact with chemicals.

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Image credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today, Carole Arsenault of Newborn Nurses offers tips to stay cool during summer pregnancy:

During pregnancy a woman’s body temperature increases, making her much more intolerant of the hot summer weather. And it doesn’t have to be a 90-degree heat wave for a pregnant woman to become uncomfortable.

Particularly during the hot weather – when you lose a lot of fluid while perspiring - expecting moms should be careful about dehydration. Thirst is a basic, early sign of dehydration, while later signs include dizziness, lightheadedness, and possible uterine cramping. Note that dehydration decreases blood volume, which in turn could increase the concentration of oxytocin in the body; this increase can cause uterine cramping.

It’s also important to note that the edema (extra fluid) in your body during pregnancy does not keep you and your baby hydrated. Edema, or swelling, moves fluid out of the cells to the surrounding tissue, where it is needed. This is what causes the swollen, puffy look of pregnancy. Drinking extra fluids will help hydrate cells and flush out this extra fluid.

Here are some ways to beat the heat and stay cool during pregnancy:

Drink plenty of fluids to stay hydrated; water, sports drinks, juices, and fruit smoothies are all very good at quenching thirst.

Instead of exercising outside, try walking through a cool mall instead.

Movies or library visits offer air-conditioned retreats, while allowing you to relax off your feet.

Pools and water help decrease body temperature. Swimming in the ocean is also fine; just be careful of big waves.

Cool showers or a bath can be just as refreshing as a dip in a pool.

Freeze wet washcloths and take them with you in a small cooler when you go out. Rub over your arms, face, and neck for cool relief.

Choose breathable, natural fabrics instead of nylon, polyester, and spandex. Choose light colors over dark colors. Wear comfortable shoes.

Avoid eating heavy meals; instead, consume light, low salt, smaller meals more frequently.

And once baby arrives, keep in mind that delivery does not mean that heat intolerance will suddenly go away. Maternal hormones, increased blood volume, and additional body fluids will continue to make you sensitive to the heat for approximately 6 weeks postpartum.

Image credit: FreeFoto.com

Amidst the many ups and downs associated with pregnancy and postpartum, one constant is that your body weathers a major storm, complete with stretching, discoloration, and a variety of discomforts. Luckily for moms looking for cover and relief, there’s Bella B Natural Bodycare. Rich, creamy, and gentle in texture and smell, this paraben-free skin care line offers treatment for woes of the face (pregnancy mask, dark circles), breasts (nursing discomfort), belly (stretch marks, itching), and body (firming, revitalizing).

Want to win a Bella B Natural Bodycare prenatal or postnatal gift pack*? Here’s how:

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THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winner Jenene C.!
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Visit the Bella B Natural Bodycare site, then email contests@bostonmamas.com (with ‘Bella B’ in the subject), and name a product you would love to try.

One entry permitted per person; US & Canada entrants welcome to enter.

Entry period closes at midnight EST, Wednesday, July 9, 2008.

*The winner will receive their choice of a prenatal or postnatal gift pack (valued at approximately $58).

Here’s a cool idea for expecting couples. In honor of Father's Day, the Roslindale Yoga Studio is offering a chance for dads to connect with their wives and bun in the ovens. During their Prenatal Partner Yoga Workshop next Saturday (June 21), pairs will work together in a series of gentle partner postures and activities. No previous yoga experience is necessary; the cost is $40 per pair for registration by June 19; $50 for drop-ins. And mention Boston Mamas on sign up to receive a pass for a free upcoming class from Roslindale Yoga Studio!