In mid-April, I ran a half-marathon. A few weeks later, I developed a stress fracture. Since then, I've been building back up from that. I had a boot for two weeks, then I got out of the boot and was only able to run a mile and that mile gave me pain, so I cut back to an even more conservative plan that had me building up from three cycles of 9 minutes walk/1 minute run to today's final six cycles of 5 minutes walk/5 minutes run. After a rest day tomorrow, I should be able to run three miles for the first time in more than a month on Friday. I want to get going again. I've signed up for another half-marathon in November. I'm tired of babying my feet.

Except now my calf hurts. And my friend and co-worker Diane just got diagnosed with a blood clot. And all I can think about is that this a blood clot, even though when I used my foam roller, my calf was ridiculously tight, and there's every reason to believe I've been overcompensating on that leg whether I realize it or not. And when I found a lump in my breast it hurt so bad the day before the mammogram and not at all the day I was cleared as "normal." And the lump in my leg throbbed until it came out and I discovered it was a harmless lipoma and no other lump in my leg (and there are many) hurts because I assume now they are all lipomas.

So I'm going to my doctor tomorrow morning to have what is in all liklihood a muscle sore from being really worked again after a month or so of lighter workouts checked out to make sure I'm not going to drop over dead. Because that is where my anxiety goes -- straight to dead. Rational? No. Logical? No. But if I let myself think about a blood clot for more than five minutes, my chest goes tight and I feel like I can't breathe, and then I wonder if it's a panic attack or a pulminary embolism from my blood clot that I probably don't have. And even if I do have one, Diane has one and is most certainly not dead, and I won't be dead, either, because I will take the medicine and everything will be fine.

So far, the tightness in my chest has not been a pulmonary embolism. It is totally anxiety, which can be a tremendous bitch.

But I'm going to the doctor, more for my anxiety disorder than for my calf. This is what I do now, at forty. I do not try to convince the anxiety disorder that things are no big deal. I just go get facts, and most of the time, things really are no big deal. But I no longer wait around to see if the cat throwing up means anything special or if the lump in my breast is a cyst or breast cancer. I just go and let a professional person tell me what is the what.

Then, on Friday, assuming there is no blood clot, I'm going to RUN.

Yesterday a friend asked me whether I had any advice to share as she tackles her first half marathon this weekend. I gave her my favorite tips and joked about turning them into a post. Then this morning I realized it was National Running Day (thank you, internet) and figured, hey, perfect time to share these tips! These tips are great for race newbies, or anyone really. I use them all the time.

I should start by saying that I don't consider myself an expert runner. As my friend said, she was really happy to read my tips because they reflected those of an experienced runner but not someone so elite that they forgot what it was like to be a newbie. These strategies are reflective of my experiences as someone who: a) spent 36 years assuming I couldn't run; b) started experimenting with running via Couch to 5K; and b) has since run races spanning from 5Ks to a half marathon (which I found really, really challenging) to a 200-mile relay with friends. However, I still don't feel like I'm a natural runner (I'm not speedy!); I need to engage various strategies to get through my runs and races! Here goes:

1. Keep as much on your routine as possible before your race, especially with food and sleep. This can be challenging if you're traveling, or have babies who wake up in the middle of the night, but routine is key with running. I think my half marathon was made a little more challenging because the day before was my birthday and while I didn't go crazy with food and drink, I did eat some things that were off my usual pattern.

2. Stay loose before the race. Stretching is so, so important all the time. I've always felt best running when I alternate with yoga. When you're watching TV or whatever, add in some extra gentle stretching to help stay loose.

3. Follow your fuel routine during the race. Paralleling #1, it's important to stay consistent with your race day fuel. I knew this was a no-no but the week or two before my half marathon I had been trying some new organic energy packs and I thought it would be fine for the race. I should have just stuck to what I had been toting on long runs (Larabar). Similarly, with hydration, if you run out of whatever you run with (if you run with a belt) and are used to Gatorade type drinks, accept them at the water stops. Otherwise, just go with water. During my half marathon, I didn't have problems with Gatorade but some other runners around me weren't feeling so hot since they weren't used to it.

4. Control your pace out of the gate. When you run a race, with the crowd and adrenaline and everything else, it can be hard not to zoom out the gate, but try to be mindful about keeping your usual pace. During my half marathon I ran my first 6 miles a lot faster than my typical pace and I ended up suffering for it (cramps, etc.).

5. Breathe through the hills. When I started training on hills last year, I developed a technique that works so well; I'm no longer afraid of hills because of it! When you get to a hill, look down towards your feet (not up at the intimidating climb!) and focus on breathing steadily to a count of 30. At the end of 30 if you're not at the top of the hill yet, repeat. Focusing on the breath will help a lot!

6. Breathe into your body parts. This is related to #5 and may sound a little weird, but I use a similar 30-count technique if I start experiencing pain on the course (e.g., cramps, tweak in my ankle, bunion pain) or just need a little redirecting. It's a little like meditating while running. Breathe steady to 30 counts and direct your focus to the area in need. If it's a painful area like a cramp I'll imagine each breath dissolving a piece of that pain away. If I'm redirecting then I'll think something like "light feet" or "strong ankles" as I breathe into that area. If I'm on a long run, I'll often use this 30 count technique through all of my body parts!

7. Exercise that beautiful mind. Can you tell how important focus and redirection is to me? One of the other things that helps me pass the time during runs is my own mind. It may sound crazy, but I don't run with music and look forward to running as my time to think -- about dreams, things to do, creative plans, the trajectory for talks I'm giving. Between work and kids and tech and everything else, running really is the only time when I'm truly alone with my thoughts. No joke, I've come up with some of my best creative ideas while running and it is incredibly effective for passing the miles too!

8. Feed off the crowds or a buddy. Some people are a little nervous about crowds at races, but I say ENJOY THEM! After my half marathon I realized that I think I would have done better with a buddy on the course (even though I normally run alone), so we could help push each other. That was the case when I ran a winter 5 miler with my friend Jen (pictured above) and it was really great (don't we look like we're having fun??). But barring running with a friend, the crowds at the half really helped carry me to the end at the half.

Do you have other favorite race tips to share? I'd love to hear them in the comments below!

Image credits: 1) Christine Koh; 2) Race Cancer Foundation

I'm penning today's Lessons Learned essay in honor of Jon and my anniversary:

Fourteen years ago today Jon and I got married. I have learned so much about myself and how to be in a partnership during these 14 years, but it wasn’t until last year that I learned about the power of compromise. I’m almost a little embarrassed to write that, but it’s true and I feel that the story of this revelation is worth sharing because compromise is a crucial part of making a marriage work. And I know lots of couples who struggle with it.

I’ll back up and be plain and say that traditionally, I’ve not been the best at compromising. I mean, I think in the past I have felt as if I have been compromising, but in reality, I haven’t. Or at least not where it’s mattered most. I imagine this is rooted in how powerless I felt during the stressful events of my childhood, as well as the hard headed aspects of my personality.

Anyway, my current profession has brought many gifts and opportunities, but one of the related tradeoffs is travel. In 2012, everything in my life was stretching my time (and the residual demands on Jon’s time) to the max: in addition to my general palette of writing, consulting, and design work, Violet was just a baby, I was writing a book, and my travel was at an all time high; notably, there was a 6-week stretch where I was in California, Las Vegas, and Ethiopia (for 10 days). My last day in Ethiopia, I had a complete meltdown during breakfast; I was scared to return home because I knew there would be tension and unhappiness.

I always thought it was stressful for me to put each travel opportunity in front of Jon because I knew it would lead to a stressful conversation. Looking back, the way it usually played out was that I would position each trip as imperative (sometimes it was, if I was working for a client but sometimes -- I now realize -- it wasn’t...it just felt imperative to me), Jon would push back, and I would lock up and freeze (my typical response to stress) until I got a green light. I often would counter with, “But I have said no to x, y, and z” but I now realize that those weren’t really compromising points because I’ve actually become really good at saying no to things that I don’t want to do. It’s saying no and compromising around the things I do want to do that have been the issue.

As a result of the toll that my 2012 travel took on my family, in 2013 I reigned things way in, only traveling when truly essential (e.g., client work) or for very select advisory type work (e.g., ONE Moms). The stressful fog happily started to lift just as the offer to speak in New York at a high profile event was offered to me.

My brain immediately jumped into “how can I make this work?” mode. The reality was that I was already feeling pretty maxed out with client work but I figured I could do a quick overnight to New York. I could feel the stress and anticipation welling up as I looked at the calendar and realized that the trip would immediately precede Jon’s first university teaching engagement. I think part of me knew I needed to let this opportunity go, but I brought it to Jon anyway. It was a difficult conversation and we basically left things at a standstill.

I decided to call Asha (ever a source of wisdom for me) and during our conversation she said something that finally penetrated. It was something along the lines of, “I know this is a hard decision, but the sadness you will feel about not going will be so trivial compared to the hit your marriage will take if you do go. You have shown time and again that there will always be more opportunities...let this one go.”

And with those seemingly simple words, I finally realized how little I had been compromising. I realized that while yes, part of me did feel as if I was letting something big slip away, I wanted to compromise. I wanted to support Jon’s new journey as a professor and have his back if he needed help to get ready for his class. I wanted Jon to know we were a team.

When Jon and I sat down again to discuss the New York trip, it was a turning point for me and for us. I think I probably shocked him by saying that I wanted to let this opportunity go and play a supporting role to his work that week. And you know what? It felt damned good. It changed the way I have handled every opportunity moving forward and it changed how we talk about travel and events. The stress and angst that typically clouded our conversations is now gone. Because we’re truly having a two-way conversation, and making decisions together as a couple.

+ + + + +

Happy anniversary Jon; thank you for being my beloved partner in this journey. I'm so grateful for you every day.

Do you want to submit a Lessons Learned essay? See submission guidelines here.

Image credit: Christine Koh

Happy Monday everyone, I hope you had a great weekend! Ours was fantastic; my sister and her husband visited with their delicious baby, and the Splendid event was so much fun -- thanks to those who came out! Meanwhile, I hope you have a great week on tap; if you're looking for something to do, enjoy this roundup of events via the Weekly Blueprint:

June 2: Puppet Showplace Theatre 40th Anniversary Legacy Gala. (Brookline)

June 2 - July 2: Create, code, play. Microsoft summer camp. (Boston)

June 3: ASD-friendly afternoon at The Discovery Museums. (Acton)

June 3: Parenting in the digital age parent breakfast. (Boston)

June 3 + June 5: Berklee Performance Series presents Nella and Edu. (Boston)

June 3: Help plant a gourd-geous garden for the goats. (Lincoln)

June 3: Children’s garden adventure quest. (Stockbridge)

June 3 - 5: The Jimmy Fund Scooper Bowl. (Boston)

June 4: Free admission to deCordova. (Lincoln)

June 5: Boston Calling block party series. (Boston)

June 5 - 7: Puppet show: A Woodland Cinderella. (Brookline)

June 6: Free admission Friday night. (Acton)

June 6: Late night at the museum. (Easton)

June 6: Cat storytime. (Cambridge)

June 6: Treasure hunt at the Great House. (Ipswich)

June 6 - 8: Runner’s World Heartbreak Hill Half Marathon. (Newton)

Image credit: The Trustees of Reservations

No way, end of May! I always feel a little bit of amazement at the turn of a month but May to June is definitely a big one around our house, what with school ending, family birthdays, and Jon and my wedding anniversary. It's milestone central! But before I get to any of that, here's a wrap of the highlights on this blog from May. I hope you'll enjoy catching up on reading!

Cool Finds

• An awesome activity/sleep tracker 
• A fantastic hydrating facial
• 35 favorite picture books for kids
• Relief for, er, gastrointestinal distress
• A great book for when you're ready to think Beyond Baby

Family Issues

• From postpartum depression to power
• Dear Boston Mamas: I need a convertible car seat for rental cars

Home

• How to compost in 5 easy steps
• 5 ways to eat local on budget
• 18 awesome salads
• Baby bird season 101

Local

• Local gems: Arlington Center
• Local gems: Jamaica Plain
• 7 great suburban date night spots

Hey Internet Keep Being Awesome

• No. 1
• No. 2
• No. 3

Image credit: no bake tiramisu via Pinterest

Hello folks! We have my sister and her family here this weekend (yay!) and I'll be ducking out for a few hours for the Splendid event in Chestnut Hill today (I'd love to see you there!), so I wanted to take a moment to share some fun reads/visuals that caught my eye this week. I've been so enjoying sharing links and commenting on posts these days (wonderfully old school!); happy reading and have a great weekend!

- For any creative professional who struggles with comparison.

- Doing nothing is OK. (Hell yes.)

- 7 common problems solved by owning less. (Again, hell yes.)

- 10 DIY window treatments.

- What happens when a 35-year-old man retakes the SAT. (Warning: profanity)

- Eight ways to be (more) here and (more) happy.

- Dancing Korean chunkamonk. OMG.

- Dads who do housework have more ambitious daughters.

- 17 crazy animal photobombs.

- Warped childhood, Restoration Hardware style.

Image credit: triple pocket napkin fold tutorial via Pinterest

Happy Friday everyone, I hope you're having a great week. Are you ready for the weekend? I have a big roundup of 27 fun events for you to peruse. Related, I would love to meet you tomorrow in Chestnut Hill if you have time to pop by the fun event I'm co-hosting at Splendid. I always love having a chance to meet members of the community in real life; you can quickly click your RSVP here. Hope to see you tomorrow and have a wonderful weekend!

1. DIY troll or fairy houses. (Attleboro)

2. A celebration for Belmontians. (Belmont)

3. A family concert with The Milkshake Trio. (Boston)

4. The Esplanade 5K Dash. (Boston)

5. Celebrate kindness at Operation Kind Kids. (Boston)

6. A day of activities for the deaf and hard of hearing. (Boston)

7. Concert with the Greeley Children’s Chorale. (Boston)

8. Boston Cello Quartet concert for very young people. (Boston)

9. Get uncorked. Wine tasting at the Franklin Park Zoo. (Boston)

10. A street performer showcase. (Boston)

11. Free Musikgarten class. (Brighton)   

12. Painting, gardening, science and more at this Spring Fling. (Brighton)

13. The Frog Prince and Other Frogs. (Brookline)

14. Schoolhouse Rock Live! Jr. (Brookline)

15. Let’s meet in Chestnut Hill and do some shopping! (Chestnut Hill)

16. Author event and dinosaur workshop with Clare Beaton. (Concord)

17. The Berkshire International Film Festival. (Great Barrington)

18. Free family concert and instrument petting zoo. (Hyde Park)

19. 17th annual Audubon Nature Fest. (Ipswich)

20. Get moving as a family; yoga for kids. (Lincoln)

21. Dairy Day at Drumlin Farm. (Lincoln)

22. Try your hand at paddleboarding. (Royalston)

23. A day to celebrate J.M.W. Turner and his works. (Salem)

24. Assembly Row grand opening kick off event. (Somerville)

25. Children’s garden adventure quest. (Stockbridge)

26. Run for the kids at Schofield Elementary School. (Wellesley Hills)

27. Historic homes open house. (Various locations)

Image credit: Chameleon Arts Ensemble

It may sound silly, but I've been thinking a lot of about composting lately, given that we've been having so much fun planting and bringing our little backyard back to life. Since today is Learn About Composting Day (I know this thanks to Kris-Ann), I wanted to share how crazy easy it is to compost. Totally doable and good for the environment. Here's the how-to in 5 easy steps:

1. Get an indoor compost receptacle. This is actually an optional step but a handy one; an indoor compost receptacle allows you to collect kitchen scraps to reduce trips to your outdoor composter. We just use a large plastic bowl with a lid but I'm thinking of replacing that eyesore with this stainless steel Epica composter.

2. Get an outdoor composter. Composters range from simple to fancier (we have one simple and one fancier); here are three good options to consider:

• We bought our "simple" composter at our town DPW for around $30 I think. It's basically a cylinder with a cone inside (to allow for airflow) and a cone lid with a rope handle. If your DPW doesn't sell composters the Geobin Composter is an inexpensive option at $30. The only thing I'm wondering about is a lid, to keep animals out.

• Our "fancy" composter (the EnviroCycle Composter) is out of stock but the Good Ideas EnviroTumbler is very similar. It's a little pricier (currently on sale at Amazon for $116, down from $160) but is so due to handy features. The composter rolls off the base so you can roll it to where you need it in the garden + the base collects the compost "tea," which we pour over our plants that need extra love.

• For a model a bit more in the middle, the Forest City Tumbling Composter is a well-rated option at $99. This composter has two chambers (let one sit while you fill the other) and a good ventilation system.

3. Collect your kitchen scraps! In your indoor composter, collect green matter: fruit and veggie scraps, coffee grounds/filters, tea bags, and egg shells; the coffee grounds, tea bags, and egg shells offer excellent nutrients for compost. Do not include non-plant matter (e.g., meat, beans), which will attract animals.

4. Mix it up. Dump your kitchen compost into your outdoor compost and add some brown matter to it (e.g., dead leaves). And when you're watering your plants, water the compost. Ideally you want a mix of brown and green matter and also water; the brown matter provides carbon, the green nitrogen, and the water moistens the mix to facilitate breakdown.

5. Turn and use. If you have one composter, you'll need to dig up the "black gold" from the bottom. This is one reason I like the rotating composter. However, later on we found we needed/wanted a second composter so what we do is fill one composter through the year and let the other decompose and then switch the next year. We either use compost for new plantings (dig a hole and line it with compost) or it's been great to spread compost + compost tea on existing plants as they've been coming back to life after the long winter.

For more information, you can check out the EPA’s guide to composting, but really, these 5 easy steps have carried us through many years of urban composting. If you have questions, let me know in the comments!

Image credits: Amazon

I pull out of the school drop-off line and listen to the creak of the motor pulling the top down off my car. I read somewhere exposing yourself to natural light first thing in the morning is the best way to wake up, and I didn't want to wake up this, her last day of fourth grade.

I woke only begrudgingly, soaked in sweat for the second time last night, my first tshirt and shorts lying in a still-damp heap at the foot of the bed. I wasn't drenched from a nightmare; I'd been having dreams all night of college, back when I could wave an arm at a group of near-strangers and invite them on an adventure or to play a game, and they would come with me. Back when I could walk into a room of people and start conversations halfway through with people I'd never met before.

The soaking comes from getting older, from the prelude to the change. The dreams come from writing about that time in life when anything seems possible: age nineteen.

I should've stayed up when I rose first to change my clothes, when I woke shivering to find myself damp and cold but also hot in that confusing way that seems to be my new normal. I should've stayed up, because when I did finally rise, it was hard from the middle of a deep sleep, and being ripped from that lovely dream where I was at a party and everyone was smiling at me and we didn't have anywhere to be or anything to do the next morning because finals were over and we were floating in the knowledge that we'd secured our spot at college for another year, that we didn't have to be real adults yet.

Instead I pulled on the third tshirt of the night/morning and laced up my running shoes and made sure my daughter was wearing sunscreen and deoderant and fixed the broken garage door and drove to school. 

And then, as I pulled away, I dropped the convertible's top to let in the early summer sunshine and drove home, remembering the dream.