The Wait

It's been a year and two weeks since the last time our little black cat had a health crisis. He had a urinary blockage last January with two rounds of hospitalization. Then we had a good year in which we fell in love with him even more.

On Friday night, he started acting frantic around the litter box. We took him to the normal vet, where they said his bladder was small so they gave him steroids and antibiotics. We took him home.

On Saturday morning, he was crying in pain. He'd vomited all over the basement in the night. We took him to the emergency vet, where he got a catheter and he stayed overnight. The bill equaled almost exactly our mortgage payment.

We brought him home this morning, and he slept on my stomach for two blissful hours during which I tried to memorize the soft feel of his fur on my skin.

About three hours ago, he started straining on the litter box again.

We called the vet. They said he might be reblocking. After we underwent several rounds of unfruitful hospitalization with Sir Charles Buttonsworth, the Manx we adopted at the same time as Kizzy, we promised ourselves we wouldn't keep throwing ourselves at chronic problems if we weren't willing to take the radical next step. In the case of urinary blockage, the radical next step is a surgery that essentially removes the cat's penis and turns him into a girl cat with a wider urethra. I won't judge anyone that would undertake that step, but we can't afford it, not if we want to be fiscally responsible and stay on track to free ourselves from the mountain of debt we built getting out of This Old House and into Chateau Travolta. One four-figure vet bill per year. We promised ourselves.

We've had the four-figure vet bill. Kizzy is currently straining on the box.

Beloved and the little angel think he just needs to drink more water, but I have watched this cat every day since the last blockage. I know the ins and outs of his litter box behavior.

This isn't going to go away.

I sit in the office, typing this post, and my human family sits in the living room, halfheartedly watching the Oscars, and my cat sits in the basement, frantic.

I told my family I won't wait for him to scream in pain. I won't let him spend another awful night vomiting and straining in the basement. I can't stand it.

I thought, this time ... this cat was so young and super-human. This cat walks on a leash and can leap to the top of the refrigerator.

I can't believe this is happening again.

I swear, after the old age death, we've had the acute kidney failure then the diabetes crisis then the megacolon and now the urinary obstruction. The vets must think we have pet Manchausen by proxy. We feed them all expensive prescription food. We scoop their poop every day, two litter boxes per cat. We filter their water and we do everything.

And they. keep. dying.

I don't know what to say.

But I have to say something, because I have to do something, because there is another half hour before I have to go feel Kizzy's bladder and figure out what to do.

Oh my God, I love this little black cat so much.

Weekend Roundup

Happy Friday everyone, I hope you're enjoying a lovely February vacation! If you're in town and looking for something to do this weekend, enjoy this roundup of 19 events, lovingly curated for your consideration. Also, it's SO cold out today, which is making me fret about families in need of winter items. If you want to donate, or are in need of, winter gear, check out these 9 ways to donate/procure winter gear.

1. Celebrate National Engineering Week by making tinfoil ferries. (Acton)

2. There is certainly enough snow for a sledding party. (Andover)

3. The Arlington Philharmonic Orchestra’s family concert. (Arlington)

4. Kindie rockers Roly Poly Guacamole. (Arlington)

5. Pinkalicious: The Musical. (Boston)

6. Lunar New Year celebration. (Boston)

7. Do you have the fastest baby in the bunch? (Braintree)

8. A musical journey around the world. (Brookline)

9. A showing of Babe. (Brookline)

10. Family show with The Flip Flops. (Cambridge)

11. A day to embrace your love of science. (Cambridge)

12. Flapjack fling and sugaring tours. (Ipswich)

13. Farm fun nature crafts and cookies. (Ipswich)

14. This weekend event is for the birds. (Lexington)

15. Participate in the Polaroid Portrait Project. (Lincoln)

16. A sculpture park snowshoe tour. (Lincoln)

17. Ben Rudnick Family Matters show. (Natick)

18. Antique sleigh rally. (Sturbridge)

19. Family fun at the movie theater. (Woburn)

Image credit: Mass Audubon

I Don't Even Make a Game of It

I drove her to school yesterday, because it was cold.

She hoisted her backpack and saxophone out of the trunk that she didn't used to be able to open by herself. It is a heavy trunk door and the struts to keep it open don't work anymore.

I see her every day, but something about the way she flipped her hair back and blew me a kiss reminded me of the way she looked when I dropped her off in first grade. But this isn't first grade, it's fifth grade, and she's told me next year she will rule the school.

Something about the way she flipped her hair and blew me a kiss nailed my gut to the back of my seat, and I actually couldn't move for a breath.

My mother told me about this love, but I didn't understand it.

Every night she says she loves me more. And I say no, that's impossible. I don't even make a game out of it. I know now it is impossible to love your mother more than she loves you, at least in my family.

She saw a while back that I was serious, and she stopped trying to win the argument. I wrap her in blankets and the promise that there is no way that I could not love her the most.

She clomps off toward the school in her winter boots, the backpack and the saxophone trying to drag her down but her long hair promising to catch the wind so she can fly.

It's a normal school day, but it's not.

Just like every day.

 

 


I like to write about young people. Enter a Goodreads giveaway now to win a copy of my young adult novel, THE OBVIOUS GAME!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Obvious Game by Rita Arens

The Obvious Game

by Rita Arens

Giveaway ends February 20, 2015.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

 

Enter to win

February Vacation Mega-Roundup!

Well, happy snowpocalypse Sunday everyone! As I watch the swirl outside, it couldn't be clearer that Mother Nature is boss. Whoa. Meanwhile, I'm sure there's some serious cabin fever going on so I'm sharing this February vacation mega-roundup so you can plan some outings for the week. Definitely check programming for inclement weather changes! Also, if you just want to get out and sled, here's a roundup of 16 fun sledding spots for you. Enjoy!

ACTON: A different February festivity each day of the week.

ARLINGTON: Sing along with Annie and her friends or Joseph and his brothers.

ARLINGTON: Walk in and create works of art all week long.

BEVERLY: Teens and parents talk about online life.

BOSTON: Franklin Park turns into a winter carnival.

BOSTON: Get creative with lots of boxes.

BOSTON: Great offers from Blue Man Group.

BOSTON: Who is eating who this vacation week?

BOSTON: Pinkalicious: The Musical.

BOSTON: FREE admission for kids and great activities all week at the MFA.

BOSTON: School vacation means it’s Hotel Week Boston.

BOSTON: Lots going on at Faneuil Hall.

BOSTON: Penguins, whales and flame sea jellies at the aquarium this week.

BOSTON: Chilly but beautiful, fun on the waterfront this week.

BOYLSTON: Botanic gardens, a spring-like escape from winter.

BREWSTER: Escape to the Cape for February vacation.

CAMBRIDGE: Lights, Cameras, Science!

COHASSET: Wintry barnyard and farm activities.

CONCORD: Get cooking during school vacation.

CONCORD: Books galore and so much more.

CONCORD: Presidential crafts and activities all week.

CONCORD: Drop into this art center and get creative.

DOVER: Family pizza making and board games.

EASTON: A snow sisters’ “slumber” party.

EASTON: Engage in crime-solving mystery scavenger hunt.

HARVARD: Discover the Fruitlands Museum.

HINGHAM: Exploring farm and forest under a snowy blanket.

LEXINGTON: Hear the stories behind the souvenirs.

LEXINGTON: Baking, cooking and...birdfeeders.

LINCOLN: Find your inner Thoreau and Walden inspiration.

SALEM: Secret activities, blazing trails and creativity all week at the Peabody Essex Museum.

SOMERVILLE: Even grown ups love Legos!

STONEHAM: Have a wild week at the zoo.

STURBRIDGE: An old-fashioned WinterFest!

WESTON: Spend some time with Ben Rudnick and Friends.

VARIOUS LOCATIONS: Mass Audubon has you covered with nature related activities all week.

VARIOUS LOCATIONS: It’s the perfect week to embrace the chill.

Image credit: Wilson Farm

Friday Find: Snowpocalypse Coffee Solution

When the last snowpocalypse hit, I will admit that one of my first concerns when potential electricity loss came up was WHAT WOULD I DO ABOUT MY COFFEE? Sad, I know! But, the experience reminded me of a conversation we had with friends about pour-over coffee and hand grinders + the fact that our electric coffee was dying, so I decided to order a manual coffee system. It has worked great so I wanted to share the solution with you!

At first the idea of pour-over coffee seemed hard to me (there are lots of instructions online that make it sound really hard), but it's really not hard! Just heat up water (some say not to boil the water but I do...it's fine!) and pour it over grounds in a filter set up in a pour-over system. Here's what you need:

1. My friends have a Chemex and it is beautiful, but I wasn't ready to plunk down that much cash before knowing whether we'd like the pour-over system. I ordered the Melitta carafe ($10.99!); it's not as pretty but it totally works. You will also need the #4 filters for the Melitta carafe.

2. Coffee grinding is optional. You could always grind beans at the store, but if you're buried in a snowpocalypse, the store will not be an option! My friends have this Zassenhaus coffee grinder but again, I wasn't ready to drop that much cash. I order the Kalita coffee grinder and it works great. An unexpected bonus is that the circular shape and size makes it very easy to hold and grind. Even Violet and Laurel have had fun using it!

I'm sure there must be benefits to the Chemex and Zassenhaus but if you're looking for budget entry into the world of pour-over coffee then try the Melitta and Kalita options. We've been using this system daily for over a week and the taste is great, I really enjoy the mindfulness of the process, and it makes me excited to serve coffee to friends too!

Oh, and also, if for some reason the gas went out during a snowpocalypse and we weren't able to use the stove, we could heat water with our Primus propane stove or Whisperlite camping stove. Just trying to give you all the coffee preparedness options!

Image credits: coffee thumbnail via FreeDigitalPhotos.net; product images via Amazon

Home, Solutions Comments
Weekend Roundup

Friends, I'm starting to worry about the collective meltdown of our great state -- I hope you're hanging in there! Here are 21 weekends events, lovingly curated for your consideration. And of course, depending on how the weather shakes out (it sounds as if we'll be hit hardest on Sunday), be sure to check individual event sites for updates regarding postponed events or cancellations. Stay safe and warm out there, and look out for your neighbors!

1. Pop-up Valentine card making. (Acton)

2. Happy birthday Galileo! (Acton)

3. Monkey Makes Mischief in Heaven puppet show. (Arlington)

4. Hotel Week Boston kicks off just in time for school vacation. (Boston)

5. Longest running science fiction convention in New England. (Boston)

6. Celebrate wine, food and culture. (Boston)

7. Pinkalicious: The Musical. (Boston)

8. Making butter is kitchen science! (Boston)

9. Build, explore, deconstruct and recreate with cardboard boxes. (Boston)

10. Join Boston artist Ekua Holmes in the creation of a vibrant new community installation. (Brookline)

11. Wayne Potash and the Music Fun Band. (Brookline)

12. Ben Rudnick show. (Belmont)

13. Final weekend for Lollipops for Breakfast. (Brookline)

14. A celebration of East Hampton’s seasonal beauty. (East Hampton)

15. Make your own snow farmer. (Ipswich)

16. A teeny tiny model train show. (Lexington)

17. Free children’s performance of Peter and the Wolf. (Lexington)

18. Valentine’s date night with clay. (Lincoln)

19. Seaside bird watching. (Manchester, Rockport)

20. Hot chocolate, chowder, ice sculpting and all things Winterfest. (North Adams)

21. Slopeside performance from Six String Soldiers. (Princeton)

Image credit: Etsy

Local Gems (Special Edition): 3 Maker Sites

Today, Lindsey shares a special local gems edition, focused on 3 fantastic maker sites:

Though my 10-year-old son likes hockey and baseball, his true passion seems to lie in science and engineering. He's a budding maker, wants to be a robot designer, is often found poring over a book about physics, has a periodic table poster on his wall, loves Minecraft, and delights in home science projects (cue baking soda and vinegar!).

I'm always looking for activities and events to nurture this interest, and have found them surprisingly difficult to identify. I wanted to share three local gems, and would love to hear of any others in the Boston area via the comments below!

1. Einstein's Workshop. This space in Burlington is an engineer's paradise. They have a 3D printer, weekly classes in everything from Mindstorms to Scratch to Minecraft to Math, and a regular drop-in program after school and during holidays. We have only begun to explore their offerings, but my son loves it at Einstein's Workshop. The place is clean, bright, welcoming, and full of evidence that the life of the scientific and engineering mind is a fascinating and fun place.

2. Parts and Crafts. This workshop and playspace in Somerville is another of my son's very favorite places to go. At Parts and Crafts he was finally allowed to use a soldering iron, something he's been asking to do forever (the downside of this is that I think we're going to have one in our house soon). My son has been doing an Introduction to Electronics class and was crushed to miss a recent weekend workshop on 3D Printing. The mood of this place is casual and warm, and my son really enjoys it there.

3. Science on Saturday. Run by the Edgerton Center at MIT, these Saturday events (presentation with demonstrations from 10-11 followed by hands-on exploration at different demo booths) are free and great fun. I think my favorite part of this endeavor is how compelling the MIT students who present are. They are full of passion and energy and are terrific role models. What an opportunity for them -- some undergrads -- to present to an auditorium of a thousand rapt listeners. Whit and I went to the presentation about underwater robotics this weekend and do not plan to miss any others. The next presentation is in March.

Image credit: Einstein's Workshop

Death By a Thousand Paper Cuts: Fixing the Minor Annoyances

I read somewhere that if you want to be happy, take five minutes every day and fix something that bugs the shit out of you. I may be paraphrasing.

This week has been insanely busy. The little angel had a science fair project due Monday, a variety show performance on Tuesday, last night was dedicated to constructing a box for the class Valentine's Day party and nineteen homemade valentines and tonight she has riding lessons. My parents are coming to stay with us for the weekend, and they will be here tomorrow. Also, this week I had a huge work deadline.

I'll admit it. I'm stressed out when I get this busy. I don't like chaos. I like my life to be a summer afternoon in a hammock. Don't we all? I am, though, maybe even worse with chaos than your average bear.

So this week, I've also taken it upon myself to fix some little annoyances, though some of them took more than five minutes to fix:

1) I organized Hoggincraft, the craft room that the little angel and I share. She has a church table covered in glitter and other crafty things on one half, and I have a wooden desk and a sewing machine on the other. We share the craft room with eleventy billion craft supplies, a filing cabinet, a dehumidifier, a large stuffed horse, two tubs of loom supplies for the hand loom my daughter inherited from her late grandfather, gift wrap supplies, a doll bassinet that now functions as a piggy bank drying station, a few lamps and at least 30 pieces of inspirational art made by my daughter. Sometimes she goes in there with her friends unsupervised, and then later I stumble down there before I've had coffee to find something and kick over the large glass bottle of beads she left on the floor. And then maybe I leave it there. And then maybe later that day, I realize I haven't seen the cat in a while and it turns out he's been locked in Hoggincraft for eight hours and took a shit in the beads he apparently thought were kitty litter in the perfect darkness of a windowless basement room. This may have happened on Monday. Obviously, I cleaned up the cat poop when I found it. But knowing Hoggincraft looked like a nuclear wasteland weighed on me until last night when I abandoned the overzealous Valentine's Day box and homemade valentine project to right the wrongs in Hoggincraft. When I stepped back to survey my organized and vacuumed surroundings, I realized my heart felt light. Seriously.

2) One of the lightbulbs in the pendants that hang over the breakfast bar burned out last week. It has driven me mad since then. I bought a damn lightbulb today.

3) My mouse was acting up. Changed the batteries. Used the last AA batteries. I bought more damn batteries so the next time this happens I don't take my own name in vain.

4) The printer's almost out of ink. Every time I go to print I hold my breath the same way I sometimes do when I check my checking account balance. Today I bought ink. HELL YES I DID.

5) My company sent me a new laptop. (Yay!) I needed to send the old one back, but instead it's been sitting amidst a huge pile of cardboard boxes and packing materials in the middle of my library where I spend all day. Today I took the old laptop to UPS and recycled all the rest of the things.

6) My present for Steph's daughter was 99% done. All I had to do was write her name on the little chalkboard paint plaque with a piece of chalk. We have tons of chalk in the garage and in the playroom. All I had to do was walk to find the chalk, write her name on the gift, and put the chalk back. I fucking wrote that name on that chalkboard paint like a boss and put the chalk back.

7) I washed the disgusting bathmats.

8) I figured out how to hook up the VOIP phone my company sent me. Today I listened to a conference call without twisting my neck in half on an iPhone when my husband was working from home and I didn't want to disturb him. My neck thanks my company, and I thank myself for figuring out how to hook up the phone to a data line.

9) I found my slippers. I've missed my slippers.

10) I put the reusable grocery bags back in my trunk.

I am still missing the workout room key and my iPhone armband. I have been looking for these two items for several weeks. Their absence remains a minor annoyance, but look at all those minor annoyances cleared since last weekend! Made dealing with the overwhelm this week just that much easier.

It's the little things, y'all.

Next week, back to writing. I have only done Rita Time once since I posted about it. I must get better. My parents will be here this weekend, but I'm starting again next Tuesday night. I am admitting this to the Internet so I will actually do it.

PS: It appears THE OBVIOUS GAME is stuck at 99 cents on Amazon Kindle until my publisher changes it back to $2.99. I'm going to email her tomorrow. So, just sayin'.

Handling Snow Days, Cabin Fever, & Cranky Employers

Yesterday I did two interviews about the snowpocalypse. The first was a short Skype segment on The Weather Channel about parents' reactions to the snow days (note to self: replace ugly bookshelf in office!) and the second was a longer segment on WBUR's Radio Boston about ideas to curb cabin fever and cope with cranky employers. The Radio Boston segment was especially fun, and I loved chatting food with Gordon Hamersley! Hope the tips help!

Image credit: Christine Koh