The In-Between Space

My daughter is in between needing daycare and being able to get a job during the summer, and we are sort of flummoxed about it. She has alternated between staying with me as I work and attending a parks & rec summer camp that is unfulfilling but what we can afford. We can't afford a nanny. She doesn't need a babysitter.

She's at the age that I remember loving summer the most, when the little kid stuff -- like swingsets and trampolines and splash parks -- is still fun and nostalgic but she doesn't need me hovering around her to enjoy it. She's at the age of flashlight tag and being able to light fireworks and riding your bike to the pool and walking down to the creek to look for frogs alone.

This summer we've patched together help from my parents (bless them), the parks & rec camp, a week of horse camp and a parent or two working from home, but I need a real solution for next summer, the summer of twelve, and the summers afterward until she can get a job. I don't even know how old you have to be to get a job here. I think I had to be sixteen in Iowa, though there was that one sketchy restaurant in town that hired fourteen-year-olds.

What do you do with a summertime middle-schooler? Is camp really the only answer? She's not interested in the parks & rec, she doesn't play sports, and the really cool camps are either too far away to commute to and still get to work on time or cost way more than we can afford to pay.

I'm frustrated. Finding childcare has been really the only part of parenting that I loathe. My daughter is wonderful. I don't want her to dread summer because she hates where she has to spend her days while my husband and I work, but staying home all summer isn't really an option. Why is this so hard?

The Sky

Today my daughter looked up and said, "Mama, no matter how fast we drive, we never reach that cloud. Do we all see the same sky?"

And I said, "Yes. There's only one sun. One moon. We all see it."

This month, I am happy and sad for us.

I am happy that same-sex couples can now be recognized as spouses anywhere in the U. S.

I am sad that we laid to rest yet more black humans who did no harm. All they did was be black.

Again.

And I think, we all see the same moon. We all see the same sun. We all have bones beneath our different-colored skin. We all love and seek love in return.

We all live under the same sky.

I am happy and sad for us.

The Sky

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The Hunt for the Elusive Cabot

A month and a half ago, Beloved and I began merrily ripping apart the deck on the back of Chateau Travolta. It's a big deck, around the size of my first Kansas City apartment, and it had railings and a rickety pergola, as well.

Since then, we've braved torrential rains and searing heat to tear the deck down to the joists and begin building it back. (If you like home improvement posts, I'll be blogging this when it's done.)

Nothing has been as entertaining as the search for the elusive Cabot Australian Timber Oil in Honey Teak.

Cabot

The elusive Cabot. Goddamn it, you will not break me.

There is no evidence I can find that this color is discontinued. However, I have only been able to track its movements one gallon at a time across Ace Hardware store websites that claim a gallon is at this store or that store, but when you buy it online and then drive to said store, the Cabot has already moved on. I'm so sorry, Mrs. Arens, we don't have two gallons. We only have one. Our inventory system was just joking.

Sometimes, I'll drive to a store and it will be there. Sometimes the cashier will stare dumbly at me while waving for another employee to hurry up and come deal with this woman who has a coupon that I have never seen before did she print it at home is she a felon I don't know so I'll just stare.

Why don't I buy more than one gallon at a time? See above.

And the price! It varies wildly. I have paid $59, $44 and $10.95 for identical gallons of the elusive Cabot, the latter after a request for a twenty-mile, across-metro, in-store transfer that ended with, "Bobby says why don't you just drive over there?"

I have never seen a product so wily or so variable in its price and availability. I think it has something to do with the actual color "honey teak," because I can find its brethren in Home Depot and Lowe's .. but when I ask for honey teak, they need to call Brad in customer service because they have never heard of such a color.

Cabot

Yet, it exists.

At this point, we have used two gallons on the rails and pergola and still need to sand and stain the actual deck floor.

God help us all if we need another gallon.

In the Moment

When I lived in Chicago, my grandparents died in very close proximity. Collapsed by grief on the airplane home for their funerals, I remember feeling, really feeling, the texture of the seat and being surprised by it. Being comforted by it, by doing just this one thing, feeling the material.

Only in times of extreme grief did I give myself permission to live in the moment, back then.

I have a bad habit of cataloging all the tasks in every area of my life when my body is engaged in manual activities and my mind starts to wander. I've done it since the idea of homework was introduced in elementary school and I was shocked to learn I'd be responsible for something that needed to be done in the future of my own volition. I find it difficult to put off tasks that I know need to be done.

This summer, I'm focusing on feeling the texture of every piece of material. The sound of the wind rattling the leaves and the 17-year cicadas hissing in the treetops. Sunshine on my shoulders and the instant sweat evaporates when the wind picks up on my runs.

When I wake up in the morning (sometimes now drenched in sweat, thanks, perimenopause), I'm taking a least five minutes by my alarm clock to listen to the sounds of the house and find that floating place between sleep and wakefulness one last time.

Instead of listing in my head the tasks I need to accomplish each day, I'm trying to float, to prepare myself to be resilient to whatever might come my way instead of trying to head it off before it even happens.

I've always wanted to be that one zen guy in every trapped-on-a-desert-island movie who lies on the beach while everyone around him is freaking out even though they are all in the exact same situation. Now in my forties I'm realizing there is absolutely no reason why I can't be him.

I just have to make it so.

 

Weekly Blueprint

Happy first day of June! We're getting a soggy entry into this month and yesterday I was thinking that our fine state appears to prefer weather at the extremes (zero snow, tons of snow, zero rain, ALL THE RAIN). Anyway, I'm happy for the plants and this weather means you especially may need the Weekly Blueprint to plan some indoor adventures (though I also recommend just heading out for a walk around the neighborhood with your kids and getting soaked!). Enjoy!

June 1: The Fruitlands reads a book about its history. (Harvard)

June 2: FREE ASD-friendly afternoon at Discovery Museums. (Acton) 

June 2: Josh and the Jamtones kick off summer at The Street. (Chestnut Hill) 

June 2: Bingo night just for the kids. (Roslindale)

June 3: Grab your instrument and come rock out with your tot. (Acton)

June 3: FREE admission to deCordova Sculpture Park. (Lincoln)

June 3: Taste of Somerville outdoor food festival. (Somerville) 

June 3: Preschool storytime at Gore Place. (Waltham)

June 4: FREE admission to Concord Museum for youth baseball and softball players, coaches, fans and families. (Concord)

June 5: FREE admission for all to The Discovery Museums. (Acton)

June 5: An evening of practicing school readiness skills and having fun. (Boston)

June 5: Share cocktails and conversation at the MFA. (Boston)

June 5: Rockport stays open late each first Friday night. (Rockport)

June 5: Explore the art of American storytelling from the perspectives of writers, storytellers and more. (Salem)

June 5: Celebrate Winchester. (Winchester)

Image credit: North of Boston

Best of May 2015

Holy moly, end of May you guys! After a rather rough first quarter of the year, May zipped by full of activity and good things and basically crisis-free, so, YAY! This month also included a lot of wonderful content, which I'm rounding up via the Best of May 2015. Enjoy a wonderful last day of May and I look forward to seeing you back here tomorrow, in June (which will be a month full of transitions, including Laurel finishing elementary school!)!

Home 

- 5 easy yet awesome table settings

Family Issues

- 7 things I've learned from raising a gifted child

- How to educate your kids about sex and relationships

- Refresh your funny about alcohol humor

Fitness

- Yoga socks + gloves for the traveling yogi

Sleep

- How to handle Jack-in-the-Box syndrome

Travel

- Traveling with kids: The Hotel Viking

- 13 ways to learn about Thai culture

- Office Champions Summit recap + Seattle's finest

Hey Internet, Keep Being Awesome

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Image credit: coffee filter peonies via Pinterest

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Hey Internet, Keep Being Awesome

Happy weekend, everyone, I hope you're having a wonderful one! After an unusually busy May, we're trying to take it easy this weekend and keep things very home/neighborhood-centric! I also found inspiration this week to return to music (slow, baby steps!), which feels pretty fantastic. Meanwhile, if you're looking to kick back with some interesting content, here are the reads/visuals that caught my eye this week via Hey Internet, Keep Being Awesome:

- When family-friendly policies backfire.

- An evolving view of animals.

- For the Tina Fey and Amy Poehler fans out there!

- How to build a business that fits your lifestyle (featuring my colleague Morra Aarons-Mele!).

- Yelling from the sidelines? It can distract your child.

- Out of the classroom and into the woods.

- Short film Just Breathe helps kids deal with emotions.

- Remember when I was yabbling away about the awesomeness of Priority Bicycles? They've got a Kickstarter going for children's bicycles!

- I am positively obsessed with Meghan Trainor's ukulele rendition of Dear Future Husband.

- Mapping the hourly wage needed to rent a 2-bedroom apartment in every state. (UGH)

- Nonacademic skills are the key to success. But what should we call them?

Image credit: no-bake millionaire's shortbread bars via Pinterest

Weekend Roundup

Happy Friday everyone, I hope you're having a great week! I've admittedly been a bit off my game due to the holiday weekend, but I've got a packed work day ahead so it's time to kick things off and focus! First order of business = FUN FOR YOU! Yay! Enjoy this roundup of 28 weekend events, lovingly curated for your consideration! Have a fantastic weekend and check back tomorrow for a great edition of Hey Internet, Keep Being Awesome.

1. FREE evening at the museum for families with children on the Autism spectrum. (Acton)

2. The Bay Colony Brass present a concert for the whole family. (Arlington)

3. A young artist performance of The Sound of Music. (Belmont)

4. Enter the mind-bending world of massive inflatables. (Boston)

5. FREE family concert and instrument petting zoo. (Boston)

6. Celebrate the beauty of the Esplanade with this 5k and backyard dash. (Boston)

7. The East Coast’s largest celebration of craft beer. (Boston)

8. Deaf and hard of hearing day at The Children’s Museum. (Boston)

9. Talented young performers show off their drum compositions. (Boston)

10. The zoo comes uncorked. (Boston)

11. Savor spring on the waterfront during this family play date. (Boston)

12. Treat yourself to a wellness retreat. (Cohasset)

13. Emerson Hospital Auxiliary's annual 5k Run/Walk for Cancer (Concord)

14. Kick off the spring farming season at Powisset Farm. (Dover)

15. Meet amongst the wildflowers. (Framingham)

16. Black and White in the Park deCordova gala. (Lincoln)

17. Celebrate Medford! (Medford)

18. Dog tricks and canine comedy. (Natick)

19. Bio-Blitz Free-for-All features animals, plants, and insects right from our own backyard. (Newburyport)

20. Give back to Mother Nature for all she gave us this past season by cleaning up Wachusett. (Princeton)

21. A soccer game for the whole family. (Revere)

22. Trying to be an artist and a parent? Here’s how. (Somerville)

23. Salute summer with music, dancing, snacks and storytime. (Somerville)

24. Southbridge fest! (Southbridge)

25. Nature, fun, music and more at the Audubon Nature Festival. (Topsfield)

26. A festival of Israeli music, art, dance, fun, food and community. (Waltham)

27. Bands, brew and bbq. (Westford)

28. Experience the sounds and songs of life. (Worcester)

Image credit: New England Wildflower Society

13 Ways to Learn About Thai Culture

It's time to explore the world again! Our world tour has offered inspiration to learn about Brazilian, German, Swedish, and Polish culture. The fifth post in this editorial series with au pair agency Cultural Care Au Pair focuses on Thailand. Here are 13 ways to introduce your family to Thai culture. And as with the other posts, for my readers outside of Massachusetts, there are recommendations below that can be enjoyed from anywhere!

*** VISIT ***

1. Start to learn the Thai language at the Boston Language Institute.

2. Keep an eye on the Boston University Thai Student Association. They host an annual Thai festival with food and games.

*** SING & DANCE ***

3. Teach your children about traditional Thai folk dances including khon and lakhon.

4. Listen to traditional Thai children songs, such as the Elephant Song.

*** EAT & DRINK ***

5. My Thai Vegan Café in Boston shows that an extensive menu is no problem, even for vegans. I see spring rolls in my not so distant future! 

6. A Brighton fixture for over 15 years, Bamboo Thai offers authentic dishes at reasonable prices.

7. A repeat award winner, Montien Boston offers both Thai food and sushi.

8. Make the popular Thai classic pad thai at home.

9. This warm weather is the perfect time to enjoy a Thai iced tea!

*** CRAFT & READ***

10. Try making this pretty elephant craft.

11. Hush! A Thai Lullaby by Minfong Ho makes for a good bedtime picture book.

12. Another great book by Minfong Ho is Peek! A Thai Hide-and-Seek, which I've read countless times to Laurel and Violet!

13. The Girl Who Wore Too Much by Margaret MacDonald is a folk tale from Thailand about a young girl who is a bit spoiled and has more dresses and jewelry than she really needs. 

So fun, right? Enjoy exploring Thailand and I'm excited to share another installment of cultural educational material next month. Also, totally related: If you've been struggling to make sense of childcare options, Cultural Care Au Pair is co-hosting a childcare panel this week (May 28). Also, on June 13, enjoy a Musikgarten class!

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Disclosure: This post reflects a sponsored editorial partnership with Cultural Care Au Pair. Cultural Care Au Pair is a leading provider of intercultural childcare and educational exchange. Since 1989, Cultural Care Au Pair has placed more than 90,000 au pairs in American homes. Hosting an au pair offers many benefits, one of which includes the opportunity for your family to learn about another country's culture.

Image credits: 1) flag via Wikipedia; 2) compilation graphic by Christine Koh with images via linked sources above.