Eating Through the Ages
The little angel loves to eat. Some toddlers refuse to eat - not my girl. She's never turned down a meal. When she was a wee mite, I worried about her, because she was a robust baby. So robust, in fact, that complete strangers would stop me on the street to tell me how fat my baby was. I heard someone doing this to another mother on an airplane when we went to Chicago last weekend, and it was all I could do not to hold the old woman down and beat her with a wet noodle in the name of fat-baby mamas everywhere.
Anyway. My little angel slimmed down perfectly, just as everyone assured me she would. I personally think she's the best-looking kid out there, but I do understand that I am blinded by the same God who tells me my sock drawer is organized enough.
And now...a montage. Please ignore my bad HTML - I am too weary to try to fix it anymore.
The little angel on her due date - she was a week early.
Hey, bitches! What is with all the pink?
In this photo, she's about two months and nursing a wicked hangover.
Here, we skip ahead to when people really started to make the nasty comments.
What. WHAT?
But despite her food efficiency, she was still the world's most perfect child.
How can you resist my drooling perfection? Give me another bear.
She learned to walk and discovered high fashion.
I am too sexy for this hat.
And driving.
Get out of my grill.
And though she still loves to eat, she's now quite svelte, and still...perfect.
Take that, stupid Grocery Store Lady.