Transcript: Idiots Out Walking Around
Yesterday I was in CVS picking up my prescription and a photo that I thought was going to make an awesome Father's Day gift but was just really disappointing instead. I was staring at it, wishing it were much cooler, when a man next to me noticed my Iowa Hawkeyes t-shirt. Following is the exchange between two people being inexplicably rude and only one of them realizing it.
Him: "You know what Iowa stands for?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: (taken aback) "Uh, I suppose you've heard them all."
Me: "Yes, I spent my entire childhood there."
Him: (not getting it) "You know the best thing to come out of Iowa in the last ten years?"
Me: (allowing myself to stare openly with an incredulous expression on my face)
Him: I-29!
Me: (continuing to stare as though his brain matter was actively leaking out his ears)
Him: (backpedaling) I hear it's really beautiful in Iowa.
Me: (knits brows in concern)
Him: My friend lives in Iowa. He really likes it there.
Me: (extends neck toward him in disbelief)
Me: (takes my daughter's hand protectively and walks away)
The End
The people who set up my mphoria store think it would be helpful if I pointed out things that I think are cool in there. I said sure, though there can be no pressure of any sort to buy anything. So I put that handy line up there, because you guys all know when things are below the line they are like commercial breaks, right? So anyway, I thought this keyboard duster with total volumized mermaid hair was cute.