Today, Amy Lage shares wisdom on how to handle Jack-in-the-Box syndrome:

The kids are in bed and you have just settled on the couch to relax when you hear the pitter patter of little feet. No! What is your little one doing out of bed? You give him a glass of water and tuck him back in. Phew. Oh wait, he’s back. Let’s try this again. Or perhaps your child goes to bed just fine, but then you wake up to warm breath on your cheek or her tiny feet jabbing into your back. Your child just won’t stay in his bed.

Does this sound familiar? If so, your child has “Jack-in-the-Box syndrome” -- defined as a child who repeatedly comes out of bed at bedtime or during the middle of the night. Sounds serious right? But fear not, there is a cure! Today I'm going to share a little context, then give you 3 steps to get past this common sleep issue.

A Big Kid Bed is a Big Kid Responsibility

Your child's ability to stay in bed is hinged to the reality of whether they're actually ready to be in a big kid bed. Being in a big kid bed is a big kid responsibility and it's important not to transition from crib to bed before they're truly ready for this new independence. For most kids, this transition is around age 3 because they need to be at a developmental point where they can understand rules and follow them, and also handle having the security and safety of their crib removed. So, to avoid frustration all sides, wait until your child is ready for this new milestone before making the big move.

Step #1: Call a Family Meeting

Little kids are egocentric (this is developmentally appropriate!) and love to be the star of the show. This is part of why they come out of their bed in the first place – for your attention! Use this trait to your advantage. At a non-sleep time, call a family meeting where your child and his/her sleep is the agenda item. Explain why sleep is important and that when he does not stay in his bed, no one is the family is getting the sleep they need. Also explain that there will be some new “Sleep Rules” to help everyone, and that if he does not follow the rules, then you will walk him back to his bed each time he comes out without any talking.

Step #2: Set the Sleep Rules

Toddlers and preschoolers often fight against rules, but actually crave them as a sign of safety. Many parents share that their kids always follow the rules about naptime at school or daycare; this is because their teachers enforce the rules consistently. Create "Sleep Rules" together on a piece of poster board, detailing bedtime routine and overnight behavior. For example: “I will brush my teeth, read one book, have two sips of water, go to the potty, get into bed, and stay there until mom or dad (or My Tot Clock if you choose to use one) tells me it is OK to be awake and out of bed. If I get out of my bed before it is time to be awake, mom or dad will quietly walk me back to my bed with no talking.” Be realistic with your rules and only include rules that you will 100% enforce. Also be specific and quantify things so there is no question about your expectations. Let your child decorate the posterboard if they wish.

Step #3: Putting it All Into Play

Every night before bed, read the "Sleep Rules" together to remind your child of your expectations for both bedtime and overnight.  If/when he comes of his bed take him by the hand with absolutely no talking or eye contact (remember he is coming out of his bed for attention and if you give any at all negative or positive – it will give him a reason to come out again) and walk him back to bed. You can assist him into his bed and replace the covers if needed, but no snuggles, hugs, kisses, etc. Once he is in bed, leave the room right away. This trip should be all business. Do this each and every time he comes out of his bed. The first night, you may have to bring him back to his room 30 times but if you stay 100% consistent and do this without giving any attention at all during the returns, after just a few days your child will be a Jack-in-the-bed!

Amy Lage is a contributing writer at Boston Mamas, a certified pediatric sleep consultant, and founder of Well Rested Baby. If you have questions you'd like to have Amy address in a future column, e-mail editor@bostonmamas.com with your question!

Today, Amy Lage shares wisdom re: bedtime battles:

Does your toddler or preschooler stall bedtime with “just one more [glass of water, book, kiss, etc.]” requests? Once you have entered the land of “just one more” it can be hard to leave, as you tend to get in deeper and deeper each time you give in. The result is later bedtimes, overtired kids, and frustrated parents. Today I want to share 6 tips for getting bedtime back on track.

1. Start your bedtime routine a bit earlier

While 2-4 year olds can be difficult to reason with, an overtired kid is likely beyond negotiation. Start the bedtime process early enough so your child can be asleep before overtiredness (and a bigger struggle) can set in. Many parents define their child’s bedtime as the time they get into bed, but bedtime actually is the time they fall asleep. So if you know your child needs to be asleep by 7pm, start your routine so that you can tuck them into bed by 6:45pm. The earlier you start, the less of a production bedtime will be. 

2. Ensure that day time sleep is conducive to your child’s sleep needs

A daily nap serves an important role in your child’s nighttime sleep as it allows them to fall asleep in a rested state – the state that is necessary for a good night's sleep. While toddlers and preschoolers need a daily nap, if your child is fighting bedtime, evaluate their daytime sleep. To be most restorative, naptime should begin at about 1pm every day, as this is the timing that corresponds with their circadian rhythm (internal body clock). As a child nears age 3, I sometimes see that it is necessary to cap their nap and wake them by 3-3:30pm to preserve an easy bedtime.

3. Explain why sleep is important

Kids this age love to ask "WHY?" Use that curiosity as an opportunity to explain why sleep is so important! For example, explain that sleep allows our body to stay healthy. Compare sleep to food (our body needs healthy food to run and it also needs healthy sleep to learn and grow). Explain that sleep gives us the energy to do fun things (park, soccer, swimming, dance, gymnastics, etc.). After a few improved days of bedtime routine, plan a fun outing and explain that you are doing it because everyone is well rested. If your child likes reading, read books about sleep. Some of my favorites include, Things I Love About Bedtime, Why I Love Bedtime, and When It's Time for Bed, I Have a Plan.

4. Set rules and boundaries clearly

Rules make kids feel safe. Kids will challenge rules, but they count on us to tell them right from wrong, safe from unsafe, etc., and push rule boundaries to ensure that you are there to reassure and correct them. Set rules and boundaries around sleep. For example, create a poster that lays out bedtime routine expectations (e.g., bath, pajamas, 2 books, a sip of water, 1 song, 1 big hug, 2 kisses, sleep until morning). Have your child decorate the poster, and read the sign together each night to solidify the routine. Note that this is a rules, NOT rewards, chart. Kids shouldn't be rewarded with prizes for following everyday rules; the reward will be feeling great the next morning!

5. Give them a say

A big part of “just one more” behavior stems from your toddler or preschooler wanting to exert their independence. Give them a say in the process to help them feel involved and empowered. Let them choose their jammies and which stuffed animals to sleep with. Allow them to make decisions when it comes to their own behavior. As odd as this sounds, giving them permission to exhibit behaviors that you actually don’t want (such as crying), will help these behaviors go away, simply because they have a choice in the matter. If you say, “It’s bedtime, please don’t cry,” they may cry only because you told him not to and it's their job at this age to be contrary. Instead, say “It’s bedtime. You can choose to cry or not cry but either way it is time for you to go to sleep.” Sounds odd, I know, but it works!  

6. Be consistent

This final step is key! You must consistently enforce whatever rules you create, so your kids know exactly what is expected. If you allow your kids to break the rules, even once, they will know now that if they push and push they may get their way. So BE CONSISTENT. Remember that they are in place for a reason – to make sure everyone is easily drifting off to sleep on time and getting the sleep they need!

Amy Lage is a contributing writer at Boston Mamas, a certified pediatric sleep consultant, and founder of Well Rested Baby.

I can't believe Violet turns one next month. I also can't believe she ever used to lie immobile on her back. During the night, she migrates around her crib a lot, which has made blanket coverage impossible and (I think) contributed to interrupted sleep. Now, sleep sacks as a temperature solution are not a new concept to me, but I hadn't bothered with them for Violet since with Laurel, the zip-front openings weren't the most convenient for middle of the night diaper changes.
But now there's gunapod -- a super cozy fleece sleep sack that you can access from every direction (and inspired right here in Boston). It features the classic front zipper, plus side zip openings that run all the way around, plus button snaps on the top. So, you can open just the bottom to let baby's feet hang out or change a diaper. You can unsnap the top if your baby is standing in his/her crib demanding to get out and it's time to get changed for the day anyway. You can even unzip the side to do a stealth diaper check while you nurse. (We have done all three of these things; the latter I found particularly handy.)

The first couple of times I used the gunapod I was thrilled to find Vi's hands and feet toasty warm in the morning -- I sleep easier knowing I don't have to check her blanket situation in the middle of the night. And while Vi's sleep has been a little up and down the last few months as we've dealt with new foods, colds, blanket problems, and whatever other baby matters interrupt sleep, it dawned on me the other day that her sleep has been more consistent the last couple of weeks since we started using the gunapod. This, of course, is not a guarantee that your baby will start sleeping through the night if they use a gunapod (I wish it were that easy, my friends!), but we're at least able to address the cold-in-the-middle-of-the-night factor. Plus, I've found that getting Vi into the gunapod at night provides a nice bedtime cue, particularly since I recently dropped our bedtime nursing. I prep her bottle, get her in the sleep sack, we cuddle up, and she feeds. And then blissfully enjoy a good night's sleep.

Lately I’ve been dreading the days when I’m responsible for putting Laurel down for her midday nap.

I know this sounds terrible, but lately she’s been ramping up not down during our pre-nap routine. And sometimes this translates to particularly inciting behavior, such as dropping her milk cup over the crib rails and hitting me squarely on the head while I’m trying – probably unsuccessfully – to keep my cool and read her a story.

A new issue, no doubt a byproduct of potty training practice, is that she wants to strip off her pants for nap. It’s not so much the temperature I’m concerned about, but this weekend while she was all revved up, she stripped off pants, then later had a poop and (responsibly, I suppose…) removed her diaper. I know I should be happy about her increasing independence but cleaning up soiled linens during my highly anticipated midday rejuvenation time is about as savory as the prospect of returning to work with my former boss.

No doubt I’ll feel guilty about this confession after today’s midday break (it’s been blissfully silent upstairs for the last hour…), but such is parenting life. It’s not all puppy dogs and unicorns, as Auntie Sha-Sha says.

Good things can happen when a mom and daughter put their heads together.

Susan Slatmyer and Shaughna Giracca, the mother-daughter team behind Susie’s Swaddlers, found that while swaddling was a powerful means to achieve nighttime infant sleep, babies outgrow traditional 30” blankets well before they outgrow the need to be swaddled. The crafty response to this need evolved into Susie’s Swaddlers. Simple in concept but spectacular in effect, these 43” square, extra large receiving blankets are made to order from soft 100% cotton flannel in singles ($15) or 3-pack gift sets ($40) for boys, girls, or unisex.

And once your swaddling days are over, these blankets serve well in the stroller, crib, or car seat, or as a play mat in the yard or at the beach.

Miracles do happen. Just ask my mama friend Paige, whose otherwise peaceful 9-week old babe was waking every couple of hours through the night. Pediatric suggestions to slightly elevate the babe or administer Maalox (in case the problem was reflux) were attempted in vain. Things were getting ugly.

Then one of Paige’s mama friends turned her on to the Amazing Miracle Blanket. No joke. This extra long 100% cotton knit swaddling blanket resulted in an immediate result of 9 straight hours of sleep. Basically, while we all experience sleep-disturbing twitches through the night (I have been known to knee my husband in the kidney), infants haven’t yet learned to soothe themselves back to sleep. Swaddling helps prevent the big twitches that lead to night waking while creating a cozy, womb-like environment.

Machine washable and dryable, the blanket retails for $26.95 at Amazon (green, undyed natural, blue), or more colors are available for $29.95 at BabyCenter. Locally, Paige picked hers up at Isis Maternity.