It's the fifth anniversary of the publication of my parenting anthology, SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK, this year, and so in honor of Mother's Day coming up, I rang up two of my contributors -- Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy -- who went on to write their own parenting tome, LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES. We decided what might be really fun to do in a veiled attempt to remind you our books make excellent Mother's Day gifts for the lovelies in your life is update you on one of our vignettes from SIFTW and ponder which bit of baby advice from LPAB works for tweens, which we all now have.

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK, Edited by Rita Arens -- buy it here!

I'm going to update my essay, "Sleep Cycles." (p. 25) Originally I included these stages of adult sleep cycles: 1) Alcohol-induced 2) Insomnia-Related 3) The Love Bug 4) New Baby-Induced 5) Toddler-Induced. Clearly, I had a toddler when I wrote this post. There are all sorts of other reasons you can't sleep after becoming a parent. 

My daughter is now nine. Since the Toddler-Induced days, I've also experienced the following sleep disturbances:

6) Growing-Child-in-My-Bed-Induced. My daughter has slept through the night since she was around four or five. It was a gradual thing, when the waking up and crying three times a night became waking up and walking into my bedroom once a night to try to crawl in where it was warm. At first, I gave in (it was always my side of the bed she approached, of course) and let her crawl in, only to find her elbow in my ear, her bony butt in my hip and the amount of body heat with me in the middle unable to crawl out from under the covers or even slip out a temperature-regulating foot stifling. This led to the next stage.

7) Trying-to-Sleep-in-a-Twin-Bed-Induced. When she showed up in the middle of the night, I'd take her back to her own bed and lie down with her, thinking of course I would get up and go back to my own, queen-sized bed in a few minutes. Of course, inevitably I'd lie down, fall asleep, and then be on that dividing line between too tired and too lazy to go back to my own bed even though trying to get any sleep with a grade-school-aged child in a twin bed is just plain ridiculous.

8) Sleepover-Induced. Whether there's an extra kid in my house or my girl is somewhere other than her own bed, I just don't sleep so well, period. I'm going to absolutely die when she goes to college.

I haven't yet gotten to the stages of driving- and dating-induced sleep problems. God help me when I do.

LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES! By Alice Bradley & Eden M. Kennedy -- buy it here!

NOW. For the LPAB baby advice that applies to a tween. 

Ahem.

I'm staring at "This Is Overly Difficult, and I Have Changed My Mind." (p. 142) I hope Eden and Alice don't mind if I update their advice for tweens.

Having a baby tween will:

• Win you the approval of the far right Update! As long as you don't end up with a pregnant tween!
• Allow you to start one of those "mommy blogs" everyone's been talking about Update! You'll realize when your kid hits around six OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE? I'M A FUCKING LIFESTYLE BLOGGER. THERE ARE NO MOMMYBLOGS.
• Give you an excuse to expose your nipples in public Update! Give you an excuse to revisit the eighties when your daughter asks for neon socks.
• Allow you to catch up on all those episodes of Sesame Street you've missed. Update! Allow you to catch on to all that is wrong with Disney programming for tweens.
• Exercise your arms from hours of vigorous stroller-pushing and baby-rocking. Update! Exercise your jaws from all those hours of teeth grinding. 
• Provide you with someone to blame for all those thwarted ambitions. There is no need for an update here. Move along.

Read Eden's post here and Alice's post here. And don't forget how lovely books are, especially for pregnant people, new moms, or anyone who prefers to laugh rather than to cry when thinking about children. Who wants to win a set of both books? One entry for each comment, every comment counts, enter as often as you like. I'll ship the winner the books directly from Amazon. The contest ends at noon CT on Monday, May 6 to ship in time for Mother's Day!

UPDATE: Congratulations, Julia! I'll be contacting you for your address. You win both copies!

Thanks to my friend Alice for hosting a giveaway of a copy of THE OBVIOUS GAME on her blog, Finslippy. Alice's idea was to have people comment their most awkward teenage moment, from which she would then chose a winner. I highly approve of her selection:

When I was 14, I had the biggest crush on this football player (witha bowl haircut? what?). So of course, my idiot friends, Bowl Cut, and Ithought it'd be super cool to sneak little bottles of booze into thewoods outside of a big German fest and get drunk off of god awful cheapliquor. Freshmen are totally smart and consistently make good decisions.Cut to: Bowl Cut wants me to go on a a ride called The Breakdance. Youknow the one. You're in a pod that's spinning, on an arm that'sspinning, while the whole thing SPINS. As we're hurling through the airand the neon lights are wavering back and forth and whizzing up anddown, Bowl Cut turns to me and says, "I don't feel so good." Iconfidently responded, "Me neither, but there's no way I'm going to besick." Then, my mouth opened. A river of vomit projected out of my faceand hit every single other car on The Breakdance. The ride was spinningso violently that there was nothing anyone could do but hope their eyesand mouth were closed at the right time. And guess what? Bowl Cut didNOT want to be my boyfriend after that! I know... I was confused too.

Yay, Kate!

If you need a laugh on this Friday, go read the 52 awkward moments in the comments. Many, many are worthy.

Welcome to the 2011 Surrender, Dorothy Blogger Book Gift Guide! This year, I've linked all the books to their spot on the shelf at the Bookstore That Gives (remember that rockstar high school intern?). A portion of your purchase price can be designated to go to the school of your choice.

Some of these authors have more than one book, so I've put my favorite one in this gift guide. *This list is, of course, not complete ... I limited it this year to people I've met via blogging. If I've left you off, please let me know! I'm getting old.

Sleep Is for the Weak

Edited by ... moi! I know, you're shocked. Get the original mommyblogger anthology with 25 bloggers who have gone on to greatness. Buy here.

Let's Panic About Babies

By Alice Bradley and Eden Marriott Kennedy

Eden and Alice have always been hilarious, but this book takes it to a new level. Buy here.

The Beauty of Different

By Karen Walrond

I bought one for me and one for my daughter. May she always feel beautiful. Buy here.

It Sucked and Then I Cried

by Heather B. Armstrong

How her blog readers saved her from postpartum depression. Buy here.

The Pioneer Woman

By Ree Drummond

I read part of Ree's love story on her blog, and that's what made me fall in love with her as a person. Here's the whole thing in book form. Buy here.

PunditMom's Mothers of Intention

by Joanne Bamberger

Mothers and political activism so totally go together. Buy here.

Professional Blogging for Dummies

By Susan Getgood

Susan's really smart about this stuff. Also, she quoted me in her book. HA! Buy here.

The Secret Society of the Pink Crystal Ball

By Risa Green

I've enjoyed all of Risa's books, but my favorite is this young adult mystery. Buy here.

Falling Apart in One Piece

by Stacy Morrison

A heartbreakingly beautiful memoir about what matters in life. Buy here.

What I Would Tell Her

by Andrea N. Richesin

Nicki is the anthologist to end all anthologists -- my favorite is the one with the stories of dads for their daughters. Kleenex alert. Buy here.

Mommy Doesn't Drink Here Anymore

by Rachael Brownell

An honest, raw and well written story of sobriety. Buy here.

Rockabye

by Rebecca Woolf

A baby and a husband and an armful of tattoos so young -- and so right. Buy here.

Make It Fast, Cook It Slow

by Stephanie O'Dea

I have made a bunch of these crockpot recipes. They are good. Buy here.

The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published

by Arielle Eckstut and David Henry Sterry

The best book on the publishing business I've read yet, and I've read a lot of them. Buy here.

Insatiable

by Erica Rivera

Erica's first memoir on her struggles with eating disorders -- I couldn't rip my eyes away from the pages. Buy here.

Hollywood Car Wash

by Lori Culwell

Lori self-published this novel and then sold so many copies it was bought by Simon & Schuster. Buy here.

Kirtsy Takes a Bow

Edited by Laura Mayes

Laura's collection is beautiful and insightful. Full disclosure: I also have a piece in it! Buy here.

Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety

by Judith Warner

I interviewed Judith about her second book for BlogHer, but I really loved her first one best. Buy here.

The Happiness Project

by Gretchen Rubin

I met Gretchen when I interviewed her about happiness in marriage for a series on BlogHer. Loved her comments, loved her book. Buy here.

Life From Scratch

by Melissa Ford

A novel about a blogger. What's not to love? Buy here.

The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex

by Kristen Chase

After a few years writing a sex column and four kids -- um, I believe her. Buy here.

As the holiday giving season/tax year draws to a close, please keep in mind you can also give a tax-deductible donation DIRECTLY TO YOUR SCHOOL. Just ask at the school office. 

Reading is awesome. Writing is awesome. Schools teach both. Please support your schools, whether or not you have kids.