Posts tagged Life Well Lived
Life Well Lived: Let's Pretend I'm Organized
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I received my next question for BlogHer's Life Well Lived series. It is:

What are your favorite resources (Products, Apps, Books, Websites, etc.) to help you get organized?

I would love to tell you that I'm the sort of person who has an app for her grocery list and her entire family's birthday list organized in a cute card folder. But I would be LYING. I am a fairly organized person, but I don't use anything special, for the most part. Here are my tools.

1) Notebooks -- I don't like to mix my notes. I have currently a notebook for work, a notebook for my YA novel, a notebook for my new novel, a notebook of marketing ideas if either novel finds purchase and a notebook for The Writers Place, which is a local nonprofit arts organization for which I serve on the board. I get twitchy if I have to make a note about one in another, because then I'll forget I did it. I realize this is a little weird, but it works for me. When the work notebooks get full (which happens once every month or two months), I put them on a shelf in my office. When they are four notebooks old, I recycle them, because seriously, if we haven't used that idea yet, we probably won't, right?

2) Grouping Like Objects -- This is really the only way I survive. Shoes only live in closets. Swimming suits only live in certain drawers or hanging in the bathroom. Jewelry is all in one place. New mail is in one basket, mail to be filed is in another basket and bills to be mailed are in a third file. All the travel-sized toiletries are in the same bag all the time, and I just grab it when I have to go on a trip. My husband travels a lot for business, and I recently got him some travel bags so he can just have a bunch of ties that go with everything all the time ready to go in an instant. We have a place where we keep coupons so we try to grab them before we go to the store or out to eat. If I have to spend time looking for something, it's a fail -- life is too short to be turning your house upside down all the time.

3) Excel Spreadsheets -- My friend Jodi turned me on to using Excel for personal stuff way back in 1997. (She used to be an accountant.) Now I have a Google doc of the paint colors on every wall in our house, because seriously, if you need to touch up and you don't remember the color? NIGHTMARE. I have a Google doc for our monthly budget. I have a Google doc of my novel submissions. I have a Google doc of family addresses. If Google crashes, I will die, but it won't matter, because so will the Earth.

4) Outlook Notes -- I use Outlook notes for stuff I really should remember but never, ever do.

5) Post-Its and Notepads -- Grocery lists and daily to-do lists. I throw them away the minute they are done. I stick them to the steering wheel of my car while I'm driving because I am so absent-minded, I can forget something on contact. Yesterday I had a check to deposit, I had it on a Post-It in my car, and I STILL forgot because I was talking to my daughter and just automatically drove home instead of going to the bank. 

6) My Friends -- I have friends who just know stuff. Foodie friends, bookish friends, grammar freak friends, stylish friends, friends who know how to garden, friends who know what I wore to BlogHer last year -- you get it. Friends are very good for storing all that information you'll never remember. Just call in a lifeline if you don't know if maxi dresses are still in. OKAY, THAT WAS A SERIOUS QUESTION. ARE MAXI DRESSES STILL COOL?

Do you guys all app out or are you like me?

Over at BlogHer, Alicia from Get Buttoned Up has a loooong list of apps and things that can help you get organized.

And, as always, when I subject you to this sort of post, I want you to win something. This time it's an iPod Touch!

Putting Yourself First?
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I'm up again to answer a BlogHer.com Life Well Lived question. This one is pretty great.

How do you put yourself first? How does taking time for yourself help make you happier? 

I don't know what the outside perception of me putting myself first is, but I think I do it a lot. I didn't used to -- I used to do whatever I was asked to do, and then a bunch of stuff I thought I was supposed to do and then maybe at the end something I actually wanted to do. 

About five years ago, I started really examining what I could do to better manage my anxiety. I realized that excercise really helped amp down the adrenaline I can get unexpectedly and for no good reason. Now that I work from home, it's not unusual for me to turn to the jump rope or a short workout DVD or even push-ups if I start to feel my emotions spinning and I need to focus. So after spending nearly twenty years exercising for weight management, suddenly I was exercising to access some good dopamine -- which totally changed my attitude about doing it. I stopped resenting it as something I had to do and started looking forward to the feeling I'd get after working out -- something I wanted to feel, so exericise became something I wanted to do. I now look at that time as me time and putting my good feelings first.

I put a lot of time into my writing, in all its formats. I write fiction, here, and on BlogHer.com. Part of it is my job, but there's such a fuzzy line between work and play when you have a job you really love.

I love to sleep. I sleep as long as I can, whenever I can. Other moms are shocked at how late I will sleep on weekend mornings when Beloved and the little angel let me, and they often do. I make no apologies for this sleeping. It helps me rejuvinate from throwing everything at my work week, and I'm a much more fun person when I'm not tired. We've all made peace with that.

I have one child on purpose. When we first made the decision to have a small family, a lot of people got all up in our grill about it, as though not having multiple offspring was somehow selfish or cruel to our daughter. I felt really insecure about it for a long time, but now I'm as unapologetic about having an only as I am about sleeping. Our family of three is extremely loving and extremely agile, and I relish taking off for the zoo spontaneously and without anything but a wallet. I don't like chaos, and it's easier to avoid chaos without lots of kids. There, I've said it. My daughter has voiced both her love of being an only and her regret that she doesn't have brothers or sisters. I'm sure she'll vascillate on her opinion of it from day to day for the rest of her life, but she'll always know we love her unconditionally. I can't do much more: I've tried brainwashing her that my every decision is perfect, and it's not taking very well.

I don't have a dog. The little angel desperately wants a dog. But even if my mother weren't deathly terrified of all dogs, I still would not have a dog. I don't like barking or licking. Aren't I painting an awesome picture of myself? I adore other people's dogs, but like those who don't want children, I really don't want a dog that will need to be walked and have his poop picked up by me on a daily or weekly basis. It interferes with that agility I so treasure in our little family. Thus we have Petunia the cat, who cuddles and then wanders off to reorganize the library without remark when we leave town for a weekend. 

In the past, when I've thought about taking time for myself or putting myself first, I thought about things like getting a pedicure or going to the library alone. Those things are awesome, awesome, awesome, but anything can be putting yourself first if you're thinking about it that way. Every little thing you do to make your environment more comfortable for your particular needs is putting yourself first. I also think to some extent making your family more comfortable is putting yourself first, because the happier they are, probably the happier you are. Nothing makes me happier than my daughter's joy, so I really like having adventures and introducing her to new things. It might look like I'm doing something for her, but in the end, it's for me, too. I get to see the smile.

What do you do for yourself? Dr. Aymee has some tips over at Live Well Lived on BlogHer.com. Or you can skip straight to commenting to win a Kindle Fire, because I will not rest until everyone has an ereader.

 

 


The folks at Lego reached out to tell me about their new Build Together site. It has instructions for how to build different things with standard lego sets organized by how much time you have and how much skill you have. I thought that was pretty smart, so I'm sharing it with you. I wasn't compensated for that little ditty, I just like legos.

Stress-Free Partying for Everyone
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Baby needs a new pair of shoes. In other words:

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If you're not interested in this sponsored post, check out The Hospital for Puking Animals.

Question: What is your best tip for hosting a gathering, get-together or party that is enjoyable and stress-free for both the host and guests?

This is really a hard question, because some gatherings are stress-free for the host and some are stress-free for the guests, but seldom are parties stress-free for everyone, right?

Stress-Free for the Host

  • Make everyone bring their own food and beverage.
  • Host the event in your backyard.
  • Rent a port-a-potty. Don't allow your guests to use the bathroom.
  • Hire security to throw everyone out after two hours.
  • Keep children enclosed in an inflatable fenced-in area.

Stress-Free for the Guests

  • Design five menus, including gluten-free, peanut-free, fat-free and kid-friendly. Make enough for each guest to have one of everything and then give them a choice when they walk through the door.
  • Pay a housecleaner to shine up your house before the party.
  • Hire wait staff to make sure their glasses are kept full of high-end drinks all night.
  • Hire taxis to drive anyone home who has overindulged in said high-end drinks.
  • Have open starting and ending times to the party so that no matter what else your guests have to do that day, they can still make it.
  • Move your house so it is exactly five minutes from everyone on your guest list.
  • Hire a babysitter for all your guests with children to occupy their children at their own house while they come to your party. This does double-duty: the parents will relax and have fun and those without children won't be subjected to anyone's spawn.

So, tricky Life Well Lived editors, what the heck are you trying to do to me?

The Happy Medium

  • If you live in a nice climate or it's at least a pleasant season, have the gathering outdoors. You'll worry less about red wine on your upholstery, and they won't sweat to death. 
  • Allow your guests to use your bathroom, clean it ahead of time and make sure there's smelly spray in there or at least matches, for heaven's sake. 
  • Let your guests bring their children but either a) hire a sitter to hang out and keep them occupied or b) have a ton of outdoor toys, sports equipment, water balloons, bubbles, what have you so the kids can play and the adults can talk and there needn't be a lot of overlap. We once rented a bouncy house for a party -- it was like $75 for four hours and worth every penny. 
  • Provide the main course and a few kinds of drinks (lemonade, water, and if you're the alcoholic beverage type, a bit of beer and wine) and ask your guests to bring any special beverages for themselves or their kids that are desired.
  • Specify start and end times on your invitation, especially if you have kids you need to get to bed.
  • Send real invitations as well as an evite so it's not as easy for your guests to forget all about your party.
  • Follow up with those who don't RSVP so you have a better idea of headcount.
  • Don't allow your children to deliver the invitations (mine invited several people in the neighborhood I've never met to a party we hosted the day I got home from a business trip).
  • Prepare as many finger foods as possible to minimize utensil needs.
  • Have garbage bags or bins and recyling bins at your party location to minimize clean-up or trash blowing around your yard later.
  • Be cognizant of food allergies and make sure there is an alternative if you know one of your guest has one or is vegetarian or vegan.
  • Check out the much better and more sophisticated tips than mine by Get Buttoned Up at Life Well Lived.
  • Enter to win a Kindle Fire, because even though it has nothing to do with throwing a party, who doesn't want a Kindle Fire?