I came downstairs this morning to find no room at the breakfast table because, well, this.
But who is missing? The Bear in Charge, Ski Bear. Where could he be?
I'm told I should start a Tumblr blog for these pictures. I'm too lazy to do that, so I'm creating a new category: Scenes I Walked in On. I'll try to go back and find all the others and tag them so they're in one place. I can't bear the thought of tracking more than one blog.
A few days ago, I walked into the living room after the little angel had gone to school and found this.
It reminded me of some horrible movie I saw in the eighties in which all the people were wrapped up by giant bees or spiders or something. With more than a little trepidation, I lifted the blanket.
And then I saw this.
So I did what any logical person would do. I tweeted the Nelson Atkins museum. We were just there. Looking at mummies.
Maybe should not have taken her thru Egyptian art at the @nelsonatkins last weekend? instagr.am/p/PPakDuvm_H/
— Rita Arens (@ritaarens)
Which is funny, because I always feel so dumb at art museums. While talking to the front desk folks, I forgot the word "sarcophagus." Then I got into an extended discussion with a docent about a pieta in which I screwed up art terminology. I thought a pieta was any piece of art depicting Mary and baby Jesus. It's so not. It's Mary and dead Jesus, which is really much sadder than Mary and baby Jesus.
But he'd never heard of it either way, so I guess there's that.
Then the little angel asked me if it was okay to think art showing Jesus was really ugly, and I told her I thought the real Jesus would not be upset if she didn't like art created before people discovered foreshortening. She was extremely relieved. I actually remember having the exact same question about her age. They should really go through these things in church.
Lo and behold, the museum tweeted me back!
sarcophagus bears? “@ritaarens: Maybe should not have taken her thru Egyptian art at @nelson_atkinslast weekend? instagr.am/p/PPakDuvm_H/”
— NelsonAtkinsMuseum (@nelson_atkins) September 6, 2012
Send her over to help w/ our installations :} “@ritaarens: @nelson_atkins I think so. Otherwise, the Chinese bed with the drapes. #art”
— NelsonAtkinsMuseum (@nelson_atkins) September 6, 2012
So then, just as I'm securing funding to send my little art genius off on her future career, I learned the truth. When she got home from school, I asked the little angel what up with the bears.
"Oh," she said. "They're sleeping. The light hurts their eyes."
Damn.
I’ve loved amusement parks pretty much my whole life. I was very cautious as a child, so I don’t remember riding roller coasters until young adulthood, and I think I’ve been making up for it ever since. When BlogHer and Cedar Fair offered me the opportunity to review Kansas City’s Worlds of Fun for free plus some money to spend in the park, I was all in. (And my family was pleased, as well.)
I grew up in Iowa, and thus I’ve been spending summer Saturdays at Kansas City’s Worlds of Fun and Oceans of Fun my whole life. I remember packing up the car and making the journey to Kansas City – the thrill of the roller coasters and the big hot air balloon with “Worlds of Fun” written on it coming into focus on the flat highway. Ah, bliss. “I wish I LIVED in Kansas City,” I would tell my parents. “I would go to Worlds of Fun EVERY WEEKEND.”
Ha!
Now I do live in Kansas City, and we go to Worlds of Fun two or three times each summer. Usually we do the twilight pass, which saves you $10-$15 and the heat of the day. If you’re local, you’re probably good with five hours of amusement park, especially if your kids are younger (mine is 8). Normal rates to get in top out at $45/person at the gate plus $12 parking.
So that’s the past, and now we go on to the present. This summer, the Arens family went to Worlds of Fun!
The little angel wore her special coordinated-sunglasses-and-earrings set.
Beloved made sure to insure important items against water rides.
Note: We got there at 10:45 on a Saturday morning. The gates opened at 10. Note: GO EARLY – there are fewer lines early in the park’s day. True, I went early in the season, but in my experience the park really starts to get busy right after lunch.
One of the things I like about Worlds of Fun are the roller coasters. It’s smaller than the Six Flags parks, but there are still nine aggressive thrill rides in Worlds of Fun and two in Oceans of Fun (read: roller coaster equivalent). This is a picture of my new favorite, the Prowler.
The Boomerang is interesting in that you do the whole coaster forwards and backwards.
The Boomerang has several upside-down turns, as well.
My second-favorite coaster is the Mamba. The first hill is the best.
Despite her love of every roller coaster her 52” self can get herself on, the little angel’s favorite ride is the one that was my favorite when I was a kid: Le Taxitour.
She likes it for the same reason I do – she gets to be the driver, for once.
After we rode the rides, we decided to try out the games, since part of my compensation was some money to spend in the park. In my experience, if you have a small child and you ask the game wranglers where your wee one might win something, they are generous with their information about “everyone wins” opportunities in the park.
Sorry, Worlds of Fun, but the plastic vuvuzela is perhaps the worst prize I have ever seen, on many levels.
We were not that thrilled with the inflatable bats, either. But we kept trying!
When we walked in, we saw some huge stuffed gorillas. The little angel was sure we would win one. The game: Rebound. You had to throw a whiffle ball at what looked like an artist’s easel with a stick balanced on the bottom tray and land the ball in a box at the base of the easel without knocking off the stick. Truly a bizarre game. The little angel tried. She missed the first two times.
And then …
She won. OMG.
The best thing about this gorilla, which we named “Tiny,” was the reaction from the other park goers as we carried her out of the park. One guy mentioned we might need a truck. One teen tried to give us $50 for Tiny. But the little angel won her all by herself, so alas, capitalism didn’t prevail.
There was a tense moment in the parking lot.
But we did, at last, get Tiny home. The little angel triumphantly showed her off to the entire neighborhood.
Just for yucks, Tiny wanted to sit in Vicki the Convertible.
At the end of our exciting Worlds of Fun adventure, the little angel tucked Tiny into bed.
Pros and Cons to Worlds of Fun
Pros:
- Lots of coasters
- Fast Lane available (though we didn’t use and didn’t really need, due to our timing)
- Availability of Subway if you don’t want to stuff yourself with theme park food
- Games your kid can actually win
- Planet Snoopy has a good selection of rides for the wee ones so everyone can have fun
- Ride conductors are comedians
- Rating system for rides makes it easy to determine if you want to go on them before you get in line
Cons:
- The fried food was a bit greasy for my taste (but hey, it’s fried theme park food)
- Not as many misters as there could be for a park in the hot, steamy Midwest
- Many of the lines aren’t shaded
- No hand sanitizers near rides or food (at least that I saw)
What’s your favorite amusement park memory? Ours is definitely the little angel winning Tiny (though I wish she were a little tinier).
I've always been fascinated by the little angel's skill in balancing and arranging her toys in all manner of Norman-Rockwell-meets-The-Shining scenes: super cute when she's there and super creepy when she's not.
When I got out of bed this morning, I heard the steady cadence of her voice in the next room. I looked at Beloved. "You're missing Story Hour," he said.
But I was late getting up and went down to get coffee and then we scrambled for the bus, and I forgot all about the whole thing until I went upstairs to shower and her light was on.
This is what I found.
The whole gang. She sleeps every night with almost everyone you see pictured here.
Ski Bear (slumped in the middle) is getting plastic surgery over Easter because my girl thinks he looks unhappy and wants him to smile more. SCARY!
Alexandra and Erin and their many pets.
Luv Bear, Sophie and Benjamin
Pink Kitteh and company
Tanya, who is unfortunately always in that hospital bed with tuberculosis, which killed Louis Braille.
(That was her explanation. I don't ask questions any more.)
Totally the best part.
It's Valentine's Day, so I'll gladly put both feet straight on the cheese platform and say the best example of my love for Beloved is our daughter.
I look at her and I see my husband's cheeks, my husband's huge blue eyes, my husband's toes. I see my nose, my shoulders, my flat feet. I see her uniqueness. Our genes live together forever in her, which sometimes takes my breath away.
I see my husband tuck her in every night he's home from his traveling job and read her stories.
And so, I am not surprised at her capacity for empathy and compassion. She even extends it to stuffed things.
I swear this is the last time for a while I'll do this.
Yesterday was a snow day, and I let her stay home while I worked because it's going to be 46 degrees today and all that beautiful snow will probably melt. So after lunchtime sledding, she had some time on her hands.
I give you The Hospital for Puking Animals.
There was a simple, Department of Homeland Security coding system at play in this hospital. Colored-in heart, you're puking. Not-colored-in heart, not puking. Just resting. These guys were totally just resting.
The dogs, Salt and Pepper, can't bear to be separated, ever, so it doesn't surprise me they're side by side.
The couch hosted a LOT of pukers. Of course she puts them on the only piece of furniture with any value. Nonpukers on the broken Kmart dining set from 2000, pukers on the leather couch. That's my girl. Not in the picture, though. That's the neighbor.
From this angle we see the kitchen chairs are actually set up much like a submarine, with double racks for the infirm.
She ran out of furniture downstairs, so thank goodness she dragged down all the furniture from upstairs, too.
Pukers, both of them. The bear is using a Turbie Twist for a blanket.
As we cleaned up the Hospital for Puking Animals, I reminded myself that someday my house will be constantly in good order, and I will find myself longing for a few stuffed pukers. That's why I post these pictures. It's not for you, even though I like you. It's for me.
Happy Valentine's Day. Hug a puking animal today.
I've since learned the bears who faced me during my morning coffee were actually lined up for Bear School, which apparently was being taught in the kitchen that day due to a field trip. Boy, am I glad that's all cleared up.
This weekend, the little angel discovered the stitches in her Michael's version of Build-a-Bear named Tanya -- that she'd bought with her allowance and I stitched together while waiting for dinner in a Mexican restaurant --had suffered an injury in the seams. We prepped Tanya the bear for surgery and placed her in her rolling baby bed. After a tense ten-minute surgery, Tanya returned to the bed for post-op recovery. The little angel found even smaller stuffed animals to be Tanya's stuffed animals and has been wheeling Tanya around the first floor of our house for the past few days, commenting to Tanya about the weather.
I am more than a little concerned the bears may attend boot camp soon and that I should hide the birthday candles.
