It's time to explore the world again! Remember last month's fun post about 14 ways to learn about Brazilian culture? The second post in this editorial series with au pair agency Cultural Care Au Pair focuses on Poland. Here are 15 ways to introduce your family to Polish culture. And as with the Brazil post, for my readers outside of Massachusetts, there are a number of recommendations below that can be enjoyed from anywhere!

*** VISIT ***

1. The Polish American Citizens Club of South Boston unites the Polish community in Boston and hosts events throughout the city.

2. The Polish Cultural Foundation in Milton promotes Polish culture in the Boston area and hosts a variety of events throughout the year.

3. Interested in exploring your roots? The Polish Genealogical Society of Massachusetts in Chicopee assists with Polish culture research efforts, family trees, and preserving historical Polish materials.

*** SING & DANCE ***

4. Learn about Polish song and dance via the Krakowiak Polish Dancers of Boston. They're next slated to perform in April at the New England Folk Festival.

5. Learn about Polish music from the comfort of your home via the Polina Music website.

*** EAT ***

6. Café Polonia in South Boston offers traditional Polish favorites such as pierogies, grilled kielbasa sandwiches, and potato pancakes.

7. Want to roll up your sleeves and cook Polish fare at home? Try these pierogies!

8. These gołąbki (cabbage rolls) are a bit more involved but will warm you up on a cold night.

9. Head to the Baltic European Deli in Boston for Polish cold cuts, baked goods, cosmetics, newspapers, and more!

10. In the heart of Boston's Polish Triangle is DJ's European Market and Deli, which offers deli items and baked goods.

*** CRAFT ***

11. Want to step up your egg decorating game this Easter? Check out how to make beautiful Polish pisanki.

12.  Some straw and scrap paper is all you need to create a traditional Polish paper chandelier.

*** READ ***

13. The children's book Little Dog Lost is based on a true story in Poland.

14. For older elementary school aged kids, The Secret of the Village Fool is a story of two boys and the lifesaving deed of a good neighbor.

15. Picture book P is for Poland will take you on a tour of favorite Polish sites and cultural traditions.

So fun, right? Enjoy exploring Poland and I'm excited to share more cultural educational material over the coming months. Also, totally related: Cultural Care Au Pair is hosting a free ice skating event in Quincy on February 28. Enjoy some time on the ice! If you're thinking about an au pair, you'll be able to meet some au pairs and host families at the event. 

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Disclosure: This post reflects a sponsored editorial partnership with Cultural Care Au Pair. Cultural Care Au Pair is a leading provider of intercultural childcare and educational exchange. Since 1989, Cultural Care Au Pair has placed more than 90,000 au pairs in American homes. Hosting an au pair offers many benefits, one of which includes the opportunity for your family to learn about another country's culture.

Image credits: 1) flag via Wikipedia; 2) compilation graphic by Christine Koh with images via linked sources above.

As a parent of girls, I cannot tell you the number of times I've had parents of boys tell me, OMG boys are a totally different animal! If you've been mystified by how to handle various issues with your sons, attend Dr. Anthony Rao's talk, Boyhood Decoded, on March 5 at the Fessenden School in West Newton. In anticipation of sharing about this event, I invited Dr. Rao (author of The Way of Boys) to answer a few pressing questions about raising boys.

But quickly, before I get to the questions, let me share how I came to them. Given that I have zero experience raising sons, I decided to query about top concerns and questions via the Boston Mamas Facebook community + my personal channels. And I was overwhelmed and fascinated by the response! In a day or two, I received close to 100 public or private responses spanning identity, emotional, physical, communication, sex, and relationships issues. There were so many compelling questions and I'm going to try to get more of these topics covered over the coming year, but meanwhile, Dr. Rao shares his advice on 3 topics regarding relationships and boys. I recommend reading his responses in entirety because the underlying principles and response recommendations are relevant to many, many situations.

1. How can I teach my son that girls/women are still valuable as friends and their interests are not lesser just for being feminine?

Respecting others is best achieved by showing (not only telling kids) that all types of people are valuable. We shouldn’t force kids to be friends with anyone they don’t wish to be close to, but they can be given opportunities to develop new relationships with many different types of people. When boys (or girls) show intolerance toward others, treat it like any other type of inappropriate behavior. Be firm and say that’s unacceptable. Most important, model for them through your actions –- not just your words –- that you value all types of people, whether they are male or female.

2. How can I empower my son to respectfully stand up to his coaches and advocate for himself without worrying that he will be perceived as weak?

Should children have to stand up to their coaches? Shouldn’t coaches be looking out for the needs of their players? Many sports have become too serious and very costly. That makes the stakes high. The pressures to perform and stay ahead of peers have eliminated much of the inherent fun, and healthy exercise, that sports were intended to provide. Worse, many coaches are not positive role models.

If your son has this type coach, reconsider the psychological costs of his staying in such a highly pressured activity. If, however, your son’s coach is fair and positive, maybe your son is having a tough time advocating for himself. He might be shy or has low self-confidence. Address that with practice. Practice meeting new adults. Extend a hand and greet people politely with a smile and good eye contact. Set up times for him to approach a safe stranger and ask for something (maybe talk to a sales clerk or ask for directions). Confidence is built while practicing these type tasks. Practice every opportunity you can. And don’t advocate too much for you son. That makes him dependent on you, and that leads to his feeling less confident.

For boys and young men, it is paramount they have positive male role models. This doesn’t require that there be a dad living in the house. It means that moms have to find (and learn to trust) good male role models. The good news is that there are good men all around us. Start in your community. Every police department, for example, has a program where male officers volunteer to meet with youngsters/teens and do activities. Fire departments often offer this too. Boys see these males as supportive and strong leaders. Consider a male babysitter/au pair. Find a college student or older high school student to sit alongside your son a few times a week and help with homework. This will reinforce a male-approach to learning. It will be more animated, fun, and hands on. Ask yourself, where do groups of boys play or meet (at and beyond team sports)? You will likely find these activities have positive adult male role models in charge. Camping, outdoor activities like skateboard and rock climbing, boy’s clubs and organizations, martial arts, robotic building groups, computer clubs, math teams, chess teams, groups that collect and play magic cards, mechanic classes, just to name a few.

3. How can I help my son pick up on the basic social currents and relational skills that girls possess?

Don't expect (or make) boys behave or socialize like girls. Their style, generally speaking, is quite different and some of that is based on neurological differences. Also, many boys will develop social skills later than girls, so be patient. But you should teach (and expect) the basics. Better eye contact can be practiced and reinforced. Responding to unnecessary anger and aggression with clear consequences. But don’t use too many words or lengthy discussions about their behavior, and keep your emotion out of it. Don’t personalize their negative behavior. And always keep them very physically active. They need to channel their adrenaline and pent up motor needs. Teen boys need to channel testosterone as well. If your son, compared to most other boys in his class, is showing very poor social skills, check in with a psychologist or developmental specialist. It could be social anxiety. It could be that he needs social skills training in small groups.

Such good stuff, right? To learn more from Dr. Anthony Rao, register for and attend Boyhood Decoded on March 5 at the Fessenden School!

Disclosure: This post reflects a sponsored editorial partnership with the Fessenden School. Image credit: book jacket via Amazon; silhouette via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Yesterday I did two interviews about the snowpocalypse. The first was a short Skype segment on The Weather Channel about parents' reactions to the snow days (note to self: replace ugly bookshelf in office!) and the second was a longer segment on WBUR's Radio Boston about ideas to curb cabin fever and cope with cranky employers. The Radio Boston segment was especially fun, and I loved chatting food with Gordon Hamersley! Hope the tips help!

Image credit: Christine Koh

Envision that you’ve been running around like a crazy person, tackling work, caregiving, and parenting demands. Your husband heads out of town for the weekend and you are sitting down by yourself for the first time (late in the day, around 3:30pm), excited to enjoy a cup of coffee while catching up on email. And then about two seconds after your rump hits the chair, you get a call from preschool to notify you that your kid has lice.

UGH! This happened to me last Friday and as I scurried into go-mode and benefited from the cool, calm, and collected response of various people -- and the nervous OMG YOU ARE DISEASE RIDDEN energy of others -- I realized that there is way more to dealing with lice than nit picking (as important as that task is). My friends at Alpha Mom have a great article on lice facts and fiction and the CDC FAQ on lice is very helpful (included are pictures of the three forms of lice -- nit, nymph, adult -- so you know what to look for), but today I wanted to focus on 7 important things to do when you discover lice, most of which go beyond actual treatment advice (of which there is plenty).

1. Remain calm. I know it’s hard not to freak out about lice, but freaking out will not help you. Lice happens. It can happen to anyone and is a result of head to head contact (read: snuggly kids are more susceptible). I’m a little shocked that we made it through 10 years of parenting (including day care from babyhood) before dealing with lice!

2. Let go of the stigma. Clearly, people have a thing about bugs and it has led to major stigma when it comes to lice. But being ashamed about it isn’t going to help it go away, and in fact, may perpetuate the problem (see below).

3. Go public. Related to #2, after discussing with Laurel, I made an explicit decision to be public about the lice on social channels, both as a means to debunk stigma and also as a first pass, blanket way to let my school parent friends know. I received plenty of public support, and also private messages from parents who said that my sharing inspired them to check their kids and, well, one of them also found lice and was commencing treatment. So, think of your public statement as a form of lice control!

4. Do direct follow up. I also directly followed up with the parents of anyone my kids had had playdates with recently. Luckily, no lice findings, but I felt better knowing that the kids were checked over to control spread.

5. Know your limits. I decided to tackle the lice myself, mostly because it would have cost a TON of money to get Laurel, Violet, and my long hair treated. Also, I knew I had the patience and meticulous nature to tackle it. However, if you feel this process will drive you insane and you have the financial resources, get professional help! Nitwits is a well-known option ($130/hour) and friends also have recommended the AirAllé heat treatment ($200/treatment) and Lice Aunties.

6. If you’re treating at home, keep it simple. For treatment recommendations (both for the person and home), see the CDC guide for head lice treatment. There are lots of product options out there (I regret buying the kit that came with gel and spray, both of which are not useful) but at the end of the day, the most important tools are a lice comb, bright light (a headlamp has been so, so helpful!), and your own fingers and perseverance. For the final stretch, we also started using a hairdryer and Jon picked up some non-toxic egg killing spray at Walgreen's (verdict is still out on whether this is useful). We have been checking repeatedly through the day and found that after the first few days, the comb wasn’t catching everything (at a point where we were just finding a handful at each check). So we have going through the hair in tiny sections, pulling off remaining nits by hand. They really stick to the hair so we have needed to slide them off the hair with our fingernail.

7. Take care of yourself. At the end of the day, lice is a major pain in the rump. The first day I was physically exhausted from poring over my kids’ heads for so many hours. It’s important to take care of yourself; I did that in the form of a colossal brunch after day 2 (where we had removed almost everything). I also plan on going on a J. Crew bender, given that I saved so much money on nit picking services! :-)

Have you dealt with lice? Was it embarrassing or difficult to communicate with other parents about it? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments below.

Image credit: Wikipedia

We haven't yet traveled internationally as a family, and though I definitely plan on it once Violet is a little older, meanwhile, I'm always keen on finding ways to expose my kids to different cultures. And luckily, living in a city like Boston, it's not that hard a task! I'm subsequently thrilled to partner with au pair agency Cultural Care Au Pair to bring you a fun new editorial series to help you explore the world from the comfort of home.

The first post in this series is about Brazil. Here are 14 ways to introduce your family to Brazilian culture; for my non-local readers, the recommendations in the second half of the post are for you!

*** VISIT ***

1. Mark your calendar for Boston’s 20th Brazilian Independence Day Festival on September 13, 2015. At the festival, you can soak in cultural activities, food, live performances, and more!

2. Learn a variety of Brazilian dance styles at Moves & Vibes Dance Co. in Cambridge. Let go of inhibition and give forro or samba a try!

3. Experience capoeira -- a Brazilian martial art performed through dance -- at Capoeira Angola Quintal Boston in Somerville.

*** EAT ***

4. For vibrant, authentic Brazilian fare, try Muqueca in Cambridge. The menu offers lots of options but I've totally got my eye on the signature Brazilian seafood stews. #nomnom

5. Love meat on giant skewers? Midwest Grill has locations in Cambridge and Saugus and specializes in traditional Brazilian BBQ, and also offers seafood and vegetarian dishes.

6. When it’s time for something sweet (um, when is it not?), head to Padaria Brasil Bakery where cakes, breads, and snacks await. You can find Padaria at two Framingham locations, as well as Allston and Milford.

*** SHOP LOCAL ***

7. For many, Brazil is synonymous with soccer. If you've got soccer fans in the house, head to the Brazilian Soccer House in East Boston to gear up.

8. Casa de Carne Solucao in Somerville is a butcher shop that offers fresh cut meat and traditional Brazilian dishes.

*** PLAY ***

9. I love using crafts as a lever for cultural teaching. Try these Brazilian craft activities to create maracas, tambourines, and more.

10. As a former music and brain scientist, not surprisingly, I believe that music has lots of power! Learn more about -- and jam out to -- choro instrumental music, which was born out of Rio de Janeiro in the 1800s.

*** READ ***

11. Brazil ABCs: A Book About the People and Places of Brazil dives into Brazilian culture, geography, and history in an easy for kids A-B-C format.

12. The best way to build bridges across cultures? Pick up some of the language! Get started with My First Book of Portugese Words.

13. For a 3D learning experience, check out Rio de Janeiro: A 3D Keepsake Cityscape for a foldout tour of Brazil's landmarks in Rio de Janeiro. So pretty!

14. Looking to learn alongside your kids? The Brazil Reader: History, Culture, Politics offers a comprehensive look at Brazil's historical, cultural, and political development.

So awesome, right? Enjoy exploring Brazil and I'm excited to share more cultural educational material over the coming months. Also, totally related: Cultural Care Au Pair is hosting the Somerville 2015 World Fair at The Armory this Sunday, February 1. RSVP today for this free, fun-filled event celebrating South American, European, and Asian cultures.

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Disclosure: This post reflects an editorial partnership with Cultural Care Au Pair. Cultural Care Au Pair is a leading provider of intercultural childcare and educational exchange. Since 1989, Cultural Care Au Pair has placed more than 90,000 au pairs in American homes. Hosting an au pair offers many benefits, one of which includes the opportunity for your family to learn about another country's culture.

Image credits: 1) flag via Wikipedia; 2) compilation graphic by Christine Koh with images via linked sources above.

Money is a source of stress for so many people; not just how to earn it, but what to do with it. And the topic becomes more complex when you have kids and need to budget for their needs and teach them about money. I'm subsequently thrilled to welcome Sandra Gilpatrick as a new contributor! Sandra not only is a Beacon Hill expert and devoted mom; she also works to help women become financially confident and competent. SO AWESOME. Welcome to Sandra's first financial literacy post on teaching kids how to budget:

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From Sandra:

My inspiration to write a series on financial literacy came to me when I realized my son was the only 4-year-old I knew who was already saving for a house. I did the obligatory Google search and had a difficult time finding any articles written by financial advisors who were mothers themselves, writing about actual lessons they were teaching their children. Through my work as a financial planning professional, I’m passionate about helping women find their confidence with finances; through this new series on Boston Mamas I’ll share doable tips on how to become -- and teach your kids to become -- financially savvy. Today I want to share 5 tips to teach kids to budget:

1. Make financial “fitness” a part of your regular routine. Having a basic handle on how much money comes in, knowing what is spent, and understanding your required debt payments is a basic financial exercise. Like most important parts of life, the first few steps always seem the most daunting. As you are reading this, you may be listing one or two reasons why this has caused hesitation. Here is a sample budget worksheet and a cash flow worksheet to help you get started. Becoming financially “fit” will help equip you with the skills to pass along to your kids.

2. Choose a budget threshold. Kids aren’t born with a sense of money and value; you’ll need to give them context. I chose $5 as the budget threshold to acclimate my son about value. For example, if he saw something for $10, he would think it was expensive given that $10 was twice his $5 threshold.

3. Teach financial value through chores. One simple way to teach kids about financial value is through chores. For example, my son wanted a $20 toy desperately, which was well over his $5 budget. He did extra chores around the house to earn the money. The most I gave him was $1 for a major effort; smaller tasks ranged from 5 to 25 cents. Eventually he saved up $20 and he still wanted the same toy. It can be easy as a parent to spend $10 here and $25 there at the whims of your pleading child. Before you realize it, you can cumulatively spend hundreds and be outside of your own budget.

4. Have your kid become a savvy consumer. When my son likes something in a store I have him read the price tag. He will know if it is within his budget or decide if it is something worth saving for. More than once, he has dealt with the disappointment of a newly purchased toy not living up to his expectations, or experiencing hopeless buyer’s remorse when the toy breaks instantly. Over time, he has learned to evaluate items and he often discusses their worth with me. Our conversations also have led to discussing -- and viewing documentary clips of -- toy factories in other parts of the world that permit deplorable work conditions. I gave him a lesson in labor economics! Not only is he used to working in a budget, but he is also becoming a savvy consumer.

5. Keep at it! Instilling sound financial habits early in children increases the likelihood that they will retain these habits into and throughout adulthood. Be consistent with the above, simple practices and you’ll be on your way. And don’t be hampered by feeling behind if finances have scared you; it’s never too late to get started!

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Are there specific financial topics you’d love to see Sandra address? Drop me a line at christine@bostonmamas.com to let me know!

To learn more about Sandra, visit SandraGilpatrick.com. Third party posts on this profile do not reflect the views of LPL Financial and have not been reviewed by LPL Financial as to accuracy or completeness. Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC.

Image credit: piggy bank via FreeDigitalPhotos.net; large graphic by Christine Koh

Today's Lessons Learned essay (see submission guidelines here) on standing back comes via Kim Kalicky, author of Mothers Fulfilled and Away at a Camp in Maine. Thanks so much for sharing this essay, Kim!

The hardest thing we'll ever have to do as parents is stand back and let our children be who they are and who they are meant to be...especially if it happens not to be what we expected or hoped.

Oh, we thought when they were babies, toddlers, and middle schoolers that the physical aspects of clothing, feeding, and sheltering them was taxing and exhausting (albeit extremely joyful and enlightening), but that was just physical. To me, dealing with the physical is always easier than dealing with emotional.

It's a challenging balancing act coaching, leading, and teaching children how to be giving, thoughtful, kind, and productive citizens of the world -- yet competitive enough to survive in work and play on the long trajectory thorugh childhood and adolescence and then into college (if they choose to attend) and the work world.

So when have we arrived?  When do we step back, let go, glide, and hope the coaching, leading, and teaching has met some success?

I told my son at his 18th birthday that I thought it was time for me to stop giving him advice. His eyebrows rose slightly and his eyes opened a little wider in laughing question. I said I wasn't clear if it was 18 or maybe 22, after college...I wasn't quite sure. He said I'd never stop giving him advice -- to date, every day of his life had been a moral lesson. (Every day? I'm sorry!)

I decided it was probably 18, because at that point an adult's advice to an adult child becomes criticism, no longer advice. His character was formed by middle school; by 18, at his core, he was who he was meant to be. I said, rest assured, I'd always have advice (and a quote or two or moral lesson) and opinions, but I'd keep them to myself unless asked. If he wanted my advice, I was always there for him, but I needed, as surely as the sun rises each morning, to respect him and his decisions for who he was and love him for that and only that.

Allowing children to be their own people, apart from us, is the ultimate quest and the hardest part of the parenting journey. Understanding they are not "ours," but totally their own beings on their own journeys takes introspection to arrive at acceptance. We've just had the honor and privilege of coaching, leading, and teaching them on their quest...and standing back when they see for themselves who they are and what they want in this life.

Do you want to submit a Lessons Learned essay? See submission guidelines here.

Image credit: Drawing by Kim Kalicky's son, who is a student at Savannah College of Art & Design for game design/computer animation.

As I watched my Facebook feed explode with outrage over today's school closing, one thing was crystal clear: a major concern involves the fact that many kids lack winter gear suitable for walking to school or waiting at bus stops in the frigid weather. So let's do something about that, shall we? Here are 8 ways to donate winter gear to kids in need, in Massachusetts and beyond. If you're home with your kids, take 15 minutes to gather items for donation!

And if your kids need winter gear, check out pickup details at the linked sites below. I'm so grateful to these organizations for the work they do to help so many.

1. Room to Grow. Probably one of the most well know agencies in the Boston area, the mission of Room to Grow is to build a strong foundation for babies in poverty. Focusing on children aged newborn through three years old, donations of all gently used or new clothing and baby gear is accepted at their main location in Boston, as well as other various donation locations. Tax receipts are provided.

2. Cradles to Crayon. Cradles to Crayons provides children from birth through age 12 living in homeless or low-income situations with essential items such coats, clothing, shoes, toys, books, and school supplies. All clothing types, including winter gear, are accepted and appreciated. The main donation location is in Brighton but there are many others around the state and the online tax receipt makes it easy to claim the donation come tax time.

3. Catie’s Closet. Catie’s Closet provides a unique solution to kids in need by setting up “stores/walk in closets” right in schools so children in pre-K through grade 12 have immediate access to what they need.  Catie’s Closet's drop off location in Dracut is open the first and third Saturdays of each month from 9am – 12pm. In addition to clothing and winter gear, they accept toiletry items. A most wanted items list is listed on their website.

4. Second Chances. With several drop off locations in Somerville, Cambridge and Watertown, Second Chances makes donating gently used clothing and winter gear really easy; as long as it is wearable, they’ll take it. The openings of their donation bins are only 2 x 2 so make sure to place your clothing, shoes, and accessories in a small or medium-sized plastic garbage bag (no hangers and no boxes). Second Chances does not provide tax receipts for items donated.

5. Boston Medical Center Grow Clinic. The Grow Clinic at Boston Medical Center in Boston depends on donations in order to assist their clients. Food, supplements, toys, and clothing for children ages 3 – 8 years old is highly needed and appreciated. Call a few days before your anticipated drop off, or if you’d like a tour of the location, a few weeks before.

6. Burlington Coat Factory. Until January 19, families can donate coats for men, women, or children at most Burlington Coat Factory locations via BCF's Warm Coats & Warm Hearts Drive. Drop off boxes are found at each location and once your coats are dropped off a greater will present you with a 10% off store coupon. Coats do not need to be dry cleaned beforehand but should be in good condition.

7. Gifts to Give. Gifts to Give is housed in a former golf ball factory and focuses its giving primarily to the south coast of MA. They accept most gently used clothing and toy items for newborns through school aged children, though there are some things they don’t take, so be sure to check this list before heading to their main Acushnet drop off location or any of their other locations.

8. One Warm Coat. One Warm Coat is an aggregate site that lists donation locations by state (just pop in your zip code to find donation locations). While it may take a bit more digging, you’ll surely find a coat donation location somewhere close to you.

UPDATED 1/8/15 TO ADD #9. There are likely options right in your neighborhood! Check with schools in your town about donation/pickup options. Also, sometimes police/fire stations or other community organizations will host donation drives.

Image credit: Christine Koh

Friends, do you know about the Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility? It's kind of a mouthful of a name and I didn't know much about them until I was looped into managing a project for them this past spring, but as soon as I was briefed, I was like, I am totally on board with these people. FAAR works to eliminate drunk driving and underage drinking, and also to promote responsible decision-making about alcohol. Part of this effort involves helping parents learn how to have challenging conversations with their kids.

While I was working with FAAR, they asked me to shoot some video Q & A, sharing tips about having tough conversations with kids. In the first video (which launched in the fall) I shared about one of my favorite ways to get kids talking. Today I wanted to share a clip about one aspect of alcohol responsibility that totally changed once kids were in the picture.

This topic is particularly top of mind given that holiday parties are in full swing. The reality is, kids soak in everything you do (and ultimately want to mimic you); modeling responsible behavior is one part of the equation and initiating conversation is another part. Just last week I engaged Laurel in a conversation about alcohol -- partly inspired by the fact that she was working on D.A.R.E. homework, and also because I was thinking about this clip and wondered how she perceived my social alcohol intake.

It turns out I'm going to be working with FAAR more formally in 2015 so I'll have more to share. I have a lot of thoughts and personal narrative around alcohol, and to be frank, I need to think about what and how I want to share some of my stories. But at the moment, I'll just say that I would love for you to join me -- let's holiday responsibly together; the below video clip shares one simple way.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsEW62AGg_o?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

Listen to more real advice from my fellow bloggers and visit Responsibility.org for additional resources and tips to keep teens safe. You can also join the conversation via #HolidayResponsibly.

Disclosure: This post reflects a sponsored editorial partnership with FAAR; all opinions/storytelling are, of course, my own.