I just reviewed Aimee Liu's new book, Gaining:  The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders.  I've talked in the past here about my own eating disorder, which existed most obviously from 17 to 21 but was an important part of my life up until about age 26, even though I appeared "normal" for years by then.  I still fight some aspects of my personality that made me susceptible to anorexia - the perfectionism, the anxiety, the rigidity.  I sometimes wish my beloved and my friends and family could spend one day inside my head, hearing the standards, the schedules, the volume of stuff I feel pressured by some unknown force to achieve.

Over the years my friends have said no one is busier.  I felt lame when I went from a full-time job, teaching a college class and writing six to eight magazine articles a year plus full-time parenting to just the full-time job and blog-related work in addition to the parenting.

My sister can't stand it that I can't sit still to watch a movie without doing something else or getting up 10,000 times.  My mother said I used to wake up in the middle of the night to clean my room.  Though I've finally learned to stop taking out my anxiety by counting calories and restricting which types of foods I'll allow myself to eat, when I'm anxious now I find myself tallying our credit card balance and our monthly incomes.  I need to add up something.  I restrict budgets now instead of calories, but when I'm anxious I HAVE to restrict something to feel better.

Now I finally understand why. Chromosome 1.  If you know anyone who has displayed signs of anorexia or bulimia, even if they were never diagnosed (most aren't), read this book. It will help you stop wondering why they can't just behave like a normal person.

If you’ve been agonizing over baby gear options and are ready to get your game face on this weekend, check out the American Baby Faire at the Bayside Expo Center (10am – 5pm Saturday & Sunday). This Babies R Us sponsored event will include product demos and seminars, entertainment, and activities for kids. Admission is $8 for adults; grandparents and kids under 12 are admitted free ($3 admission coupons are available at Babies R Us stores). Eat your Wheaties before you head to this extravaganza.

Bayside Expo Center, 200 Mount Vernon St., Dorchester; Tel: 617-474-6000

We had a horrible night last night.  Read about it over at BlogHer!

For chic diapering on the go, reader Sophie from New York, NY wrote in with high praise for the Rio Grande Toddler Change Pad from Pineapple Cove (shown; $50 at the amazing art and design collective Trunkt). Featuring an oversized zipper pocket to securely hold diapers and wipes, and thick padding to comfortably cushion your baby, the interior is waterproof and the pad folds from 34 x 13” to 7.5 x 13” and secures with a Velcro closure. Click here to see Trunkt’s full collection of change pads and diaper wallets from Pineapple Cove.

One of Laurel’s school pals eats waffles every morning for breakfast and subsequently always smells distinctly like a sweet puddle of maple syrup. This little guy thus ought to be thrilled that March is maple sugaring time in New England.

This weekend your kids can learn that maple syrup has a life beyond the breakfast aisle via demos at Brookwood Farm in the Blue Hills Reservation and at the Ipswich River Wildlife Sanctuary. Click each link for admission and schedule details; the Brookwood link also includes additional maple sugaring programs offered this month by the Mass DCR.

Blue Hills Reservation, 695 Hillside Street, Milton; Tel: 617-698-1802 & Ipswich River Wildlife Sanctuary, 87 Perkins Row, Topsfield; Tel: 978-887-9264

The other day, the Parents As Teachers lady was over here. We were talking about the wonders of reality television as it applies to parenting.

Normally, I'm not a huge fan of reality television.  I don't enjoy watching people argue as a sport.  However, when it comes to parenting, there's nothing like a little reality television to show you just what will happen if you don't learn to say no to your children, and fast.

I watch Supernanny on a pretty regular basis, and not for the parenting tips. I watch it to make myself feel better.  I know, I'm horrible, but it makes me feel vindicated to realize for all my foibles, at least my little angel is not a complete basket case, and while most of that can be attributed to her sweet temperament, a lot of it can be attributed to the great parenting my beloved and I received - parenting that taught us, in turn, how to be good parents.

Last night on DVR I watched this episode of Oprah.  It was talking about how angry kids are today, and how overindulging them can make them even angrier.  Why?  Because kids need boundaries.

The other day I talked about the video recently discovered of toddlers smoking pot.  Obviously, the parents of those two teenaged boys failed them.  And in failing them, they failed those little children.  Failing your children extends beyond just the children themselves - you in turn fail everyone those selfish children come into contact with when they become adults.

On the flip side, good parenting also extends beyond your own children. I don't take a lot of credit for the parenting I give the little angel.  Sure, I read the books and try to be patient and all that, but I owe my parenting skills to my parents, my aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends.  Long before I was a parent, I watched others parent their children, and I paid attention.  During that conversation with the Parents As Teachers lady, I realized that watching my friends before I became a parent gave me a framework.  I remember hearing my friend A. talk to her daughter when her daughter was the little angel's age, and being amazed at how softly she talked, how she addressed her daughter as a human being, not a toddler.  I borrowed that style and have often been complimented on the little angel's vocabulary.  Wasn't my idea - I totally stole that from A.  Lesson:  you CAN treat your child with dignity and talk to them in a normal tone of voice from birth, and they will still enjoy childhood.

After the little angel was born, I did find myself gravitating toward other friends of mine who had similar parenting styles, and this has been so important to me.  Having friends who also believe in time outs, limiting presents, respecting naptime and bedtime, reading books and playing outside and making your child say "please" and "thank you" reinforces my good habits.  Having friends who also believe in adult time, good wine, the right to take a vacation without your children, respecting the choice to work for pay or not work for pay and bubble baths keeps me from turning into an uptight wench of a parent who doesn't pay any attention to her own needs.

We parents are not saints.  Sanbreakity pointed out in response to my post that not all parents are disgusted by their own bad behavior.  I knew that, but it was hard to really let it sink in.   Everyone gets frustrated, and it's not evil to wish the whining child would just stop, to want to give the child whatever so they will just shut up already.  It's hard to be patient at the end of a long day after you've had your hair pulled by a toddler or been peed on by a potty-training preschooler. It sucks to have your beautiful house ruined by pitter-pattering little feet.  I mourned the loss of my freedom well into the second year of the little angel's life. It made me very angry to have to be so responsible for someone else initially.  This parenting thing is fucking hard.

And that's why we really have to take advantage of the lessons floating around out there - in cyberspace, on television, and in the good examples of our friends and family.  It's easier when you realize that other people do this, too. You're not alone.

My own mother is always saying she wasn't a good parent, or she wishes she would've done things differently, not gotten angry, blah, blah, blah.  Sure, she got mad.  Sure, spanking was more popular back then.  It is obvious to me in my instincts with the little angel, though, that my parents did a bang-up job of parenting - otherwise I wouldn't know how to do it.  My daughter is doing great, and I owe a lot of that to the examples set by those around me.  And that's why I didn't let the little angel play with the candy necklaces I bought for my mom, her and me to play with this weekend.  She won't die if I say no, and I know that. Thank the good Lord I know that.

Although I initially was among those new parents wary of pacifiers, Laurel was so orally fixated as an infant that there were many moments where I desperately wished she would take a pacifier so I could have my pinky (or breast) back. She would have none of the plastic stuff.

Perhaps she would have changed her tune with one of the cute Plush Pacifiers from Baby Dagny. Their exclusively designed WubbaNub pacifier is attached to any of a host of small cuddly critters that little hands will want to hold onto, thus keeping the pacifier in the mouth, not on the ground (shown, the Ultimate Shower Set 7pk included in this year’s Oscar swag bags; $72). These plush pacifiers are machine washable, suitable for babies from 2 months to 2 years, and are offered in a variety of set size/animal combos, starting at two for $29.

Coping with sibling rivalry is an expected part of the parenting journey, but what a drag for one of my mama pals that their first experience with rivalry presented itself in the form of poop smeared all over the crib formerly belonging to the older sibling, likely not coincidentally following the baby sister’s first snooze in the crib.

ParentCenter and AskDrSears offer useful advice on how to cope with sibling rivalry by preparing and involving the older sibling before and after the baby arrives. Related to my friend’s experience, ParentCenter notes that aggressive behavior, particularly from 2 year olds, is common. It seems that communication will be the big challenge; you need to find a way to encourage the sibling to talk about their feelings of jealousy and anger and relate that it is normal to feel this way (but not acceptable to act out towards the younger sibling), while curbing your own fuming and potential urge to punish (which could invoke more aggressive behavior). Click here for our post on time-outs, which may serve well in situations like this.

Our friends Andrew and Nooshi are similarly resistant to battery-operated toys so a visit to their home typically guarantees learning about some nifty, classic toy options. Laurel and Jack couldn’t get enough of this Choral Top ($16.95 at Amazon). The pump action creates a whirl of bright color and triggers the sounding of harmonious tones. The latter vaguely reminded me of some of the experimental stimuli I used to monkey around with during my research days, but I won’t hold it against this cool classic.