For the past year we’ve been sharing in our neighbor’s slow and lazy composting method, but we now want to move to a more contained, easy to rotate system. I immediately e-mailed my friend Braden, who has urban composted everywhere from NYC to Tokyo. She writes, “I love that when you think of rotting food you think of me! We use the EnviroCycle Composter [available at Planet Natural and Amazon], a rotating composting bin with a fairly small footprint. Indoor composting or vermiculture are other urban options but I really cannot imagine most urbanites taking up that challenge.”

So after processing a drive to Iowa that culminated in three $70 fill-ups of the Ford Explorer, we're ditching it.  Even though we're a little upside down in our loan.

We're downsizing -- drastically.  Like to a compact for our family car downsizing.  Like to something that gets more than 30 mpg highway downsizing.

Goodbye, swimming noodle at all times in the trunk.

Goodbye, leather seats and moon roof.

Goodbye, third row for when Ma and Pa are in town.

Goodbye, intense guilt about my carbon footprint.

Hello, freedom from the vise that settles around my temples every time I pull into a gas station, which is at least once a week.

Hello, four more years of car payments.

Hello, managing our variable monthly costs in the best way we know how to do.

Last Friday, I attended a green fair at my work and checked out the Honda Fit, among other cars.  I spent the weekend trying to convince my beloved to give up the huge tanker we drive now in favor of something definitely less comfortable and tricked out. Something with FEWER bells and whistles.

He is a man.  This was hard for him.

I enlisted my brother-in-law. Over noodles at lunch on Sunday before we drove home, my brother-in-law looked severely at my husband.  "G," he said.  "You need to embrace the economic realities of our time."

Beloved had been beaten at his own game.

Last night, we test-drove a Fit and looked at a Corolla.  Both are probably half the size of the Explorer and get literally twice the miles per gallon.  Beloved took one look at the 14-inch wheels on the Fit and visibly shrunk a few inches, but he manned up and hid his disappointment. 

We didn't buy anything yet, but we are definitely shopping.  The Explorer's days are numbered.  We'll keep the old one, as it is paid off, and you really can't argue with that.  I can't wait to ditch the one I'm driving, as its huge wheels and vast expanse of space no longer seem prudent for the family of three that doesn't plan to grow any more and the four-year-old who no longer needs a Pack-n-Play, a stroller, to carry her own food and diapers, a carseat the size of a sofa or 6,000 bottles when we travel.

It's time to start getting our lives under control.  This is step one. (cut a hole in the box)
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Need some light summer fiction? Read my review of Emily Giffin's new book at Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews.

Today, Jules and Heather review Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too, a book that seeks to motivate moms to give themselves the time-outs they need and deserve. Read on for their reviews, as well as to learn how to be one of two winners to receive a copy of Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too:
From Jules:

“Before becoming a mom, I feared that I would be the type of mother whose life revolved around moms’ groups, shuttling kids from soccer practice to boy scouts and back, laboring for months over Halloween costumes, and any other banal tasks where I’d lose my sense of self in the process of being a slave to my son. But now that I am a mom, I understand that these tasks are not banal and they are anything but ordinary. How extraordinary it is to watch your child grow and learn and play and interact, and mine is only four months old! I have found so much joy and genuine happiness in the day to day of motherhood.

These feelings, of course, do not shield me from the daily volatilities and stressors that a mother faces. And Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too – a book that gives a positive voice to every mother who has ever felt exhausted, rejected, disconnected, impatient, isolated, unattractive, depressed, or incapable – encourages mothers to be a little selfish; to evaluate their priorities and really take time to nurture the self.

Acknowledging the fact that mothers are challenged by their selflessness, feelings that they need to do it all, and societal pressures, rather than offering quick fixes for the every day struggles, Mothers Need Times-Outs, Too offers insights, stories, and realistic solutions to every day issues by taking our unrealistic expectations and turning them into realities. My favorite chapters include: The Power of Self Awareness, The Value of Downtime, The Loving Link with your Partner, and The Significance of Self Care. These chapters ask moms to focus on eating right, sleeping right, exercising, having quiet time, verbalizing your stressors/fears, and staying sexually active. The principal of the book is basic and most of us know it in theory, but it is refreshing to have tangible guidance on how to achieve selflessness, passion, relaxation, and nurturing in reality.

No matter what your mothering situation, Mothers Need Times-Outs, Too is a great book to help moms justify their fears, feelings of inadequacy, and frantic-ness, and move towards change. I know now that having children will not ever mean losing me. They are me. Now find yourself some quiet time, some comfy clothes, and get reading!”

From Heather:

“I am often told, ‘I don’t know how you do it all.’ After all, what people see is a mama of four well adjusted healthy kids under 5; someone who never says no to host a play date or backyard BBQ while managing a full time career, happy hubby, and clean house (please don’t look under the couch…). But the reality is that these days I only appear to do it all; instead I feel that I do nothing well, and all too often what I do accomplish is at my own expense. But I keep on trucking because this is the alleged norm for today’s mom, right?

Think again. In reading Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too by Susan Callahan, Anne Nolen, and Katrin Schumann, I was thrilled to discover that this book is chock-full of wonderful advice, delivered via hundreds of real moms using relevant examples of daily life issues. The key message of this book is that being a little selfish actually makes us better mothers. It’s really as basic as the pre take-off ‘oxygen mask’ instructions when flying. Secure your oxygen mask first and then take care of your children. We are no good to anyone if we don’t take care of ourselves first.

The authors summarize it best in the introduction:

With this book, you’re about to begin a journey of self-discovery. Your willingness to open yourself up to scrutiny, to change habits, to ask for help and to admit and even relish in imperfection will help you regain control of your life. You’ll learn to listen to your instincts again and to stop feeling guilty about never being quite good enough. You’ll treat yourself with more compassion and become more patient with those around you.’

I encourage all moms to time-out for you and read this inspirational book!”

+ + + + +
THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winners Jennifer G. and maxwellj!
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Now, want to be one of two winners to receive a copy of Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too? Here’s how:

Visit the Mothers Need Time-Outs Too reseller page, then email contests@bostonmamas.com (with ‘Time-Outs’ in the subject), and name a reseller where you can purchase Mothers Need Time-Outs Too.

One entry permitted per person; US entrants welcome to enter.

Entry period closes at midnight EST, Tuesday, June 24, 2008.

I’m not sure whether it’s coincidence or consequence that June-born Jon loves cherries, but every year he’d rather have cherry pie than cake. The year Laurel was born, in my sleep deprived, frantically trying-to-bake-while-on-a-conference-call state, I dropped my fully assembled pie as I tried to put it in the oven. I thus was too traumatized last year to try again, but when Bon Appétit’s June 2008 issue featured this Classic Sour Cherry Pie With Lattice Crust recipe, I knew it was time to give cherry pie another go. Plus, Laurel was sure to keep reminding me to use both hands when putting the pie in the oven.

The recipe is by dessert maven Lori Longbotham, whose Luscious Lemon Desserts and Luscious Chocolate Desserts cookbooks we also own. A cherry pitter makes quick work of fresh cherries (or go ahead and use the pitted, jarred Morello cherries from Trader Joe’s – drain them and use the higher lemon juice content suggested for sweet cherries), and while people often are intimidated by homemade crust, with a Cuisinart, it takes about one minute to knock together pie crust dough and another few minutes to roll it out once chilled. I didn’t have a fluted pastry wheel to cut the lattice crust but it still looked fantastic with a straight knife cut. Not that any of us were even paying attention to the aesthetics after taking a bite of the divine crust and filling.

Image credit: James Wojcik, from Bon Appétit feature

This weekend we "vacationed" (by this I mean: we drove to see family and went to the zoo) in fabulous downtown Des Moines, Iowa.  I didn't see any flood waters, but I heard from my Cedar Rapids-based brother-in-law that a) flood "water" is a term that should be used loosely, as there is a lot in the water besides water and b) flood water is powerful enough to move just about anything in its way.  It was depressing to hear of how much had been lost in Cedar Rapids and Iowa City, cities I've lived and worked in. 

On the upside, my in-laws are safe and still in their house, which is more than a lot of folks up there can say. (And in Iowa, they are "folks," trust me.)  Also, we had a wonderful time.  We stayed in a hotel, which made the little angel delirious with happiness, we went to the zoo, we grilled out and the little angel and her five-year-old cousin A. immersed themselves in their cousin M's American Girl collection, which I have to say is very impressive.  Those dolls had crutches, roller skates, and tap shoes with real taps on them. It was all I could do to keep from seizing them myself.  I got to see three of my nine in-law families, including my MIL and FIL.  We had to skip traveling to see them at Thanksgiving last year due to finances, so it was really important we get to see them this weekend.

This morning, of course, the little angel woke up, realized it was a school day, and started having a fit.  I told her we were running late (as usual) but today, I just really didn't care.  She randomly changed her tune.

"You'd better hurry, Mommy," she said.  "Otherwise your work teacher will be mad at you."

GOOD POINT.

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Talking about how to spot stroke and heart attack today at BlogHer.

One pragmatic plus of having a daughter is dresses, which create a cute look instantly and make frequent changes a cinch. And if you share my love for simple, elegant, comfy, and good for the planet, check out the chic offerings at green boutique Go Natural Baby. Offering a clothing collection crafted from 100% certified organic cotton and low impact dyes, I love the sweet simplicity of Little Rosie’s Dress. Prettily constructed in dual pink tones and contrast trim at the neck and arms, this empire silhouette looks great on its own or paired with pants.

Want to win Little Rosie’s Dress*? Here’s how:

+ + + + +
THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winner Gina S.!
+ + + + +

Visit Go Natural Baby, then email contests@bostonmamas.com (with ‘Go Natural’ in the subject), and name another cool organic product that Go Natural Baby carries.

One entry permitted per person; US entrants welcome to enter.

Entry period closes at midnight EST, Monday, June 23, 2008.

*The winner will receive Go Natural Baby’s Little Rosie’s Dress in the size of their choice (subject to availability).

And now for our weekly dose of web highlights from some of our stylish blog partners:

You could win: a $100 Cabana Life shopping spree at MomFinds, a Little Scholastics summer goodie bag at Classy Mommy, and a personalized Lisa Leonard charm necklace at The Nest Baby. One Chic Mama has raves for Clarks for Kids. Modern Mom encourages moms to join one of their groups across the country. And Rachael Ray recommends favorite beach items at Clever Parents.

This week I had a meeting with a woman who left the workforce when her second son was born and the first stopped sleeping.  She had a great career, an enviable career, but one day, she'd just had it and realized she wanted to be home for her kids.  She said they were poor for a while. We talked about how some of her friends and family reacted to her decision, how some called it "giving in," how she'd built a successful consulting career in the 15 or so years since she made that decision.

I ate my bagel and wanted to cry.  If I quit my job, we wouldn't be just poor. We'd be out on our asses.

I've been having a hard working mommy week.  The little angel has been really fighting daycare. I don't know what's different - she was doing fine for months - maybe it's that she senses in me a wistfulness when I drive her there.  A realization, for me, that any chance I would have to be home with her before she starts real school is running through the hourglass at breakneck speed, and there is nothing I can do to reverse time.

I've worked full-time since she was three months old. I've had to. We are a solidly dual-income family - we need both salaries. I've gone around and around the mulberry bush for four years, trying to figure out how I could possibly spend more time with my daughter, and the answers have always been disappointing.  I don't regret my "decision" to work, per se, because it doesn't feel like a decision when it's a necessary evil.  I'm very happy I've been able to move my career in a direction that makes me happier - I love writing and editing - but I'd love to do it fewer hours a week, at least now, before my daughter completely grows up on me.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I feel like I've been over this ground so many times I've worn ruts with my pacing, and the answers never change.  But this morning when my daughter clung to me, crying, I think if I'd been able to make a decision like the woman with whom I had coffee, I would've done it right then.

But I can't.

Damn it.

‘Tis the season for strawberries! If your kid can't get enough of these berries, be sure to hit one of the many strawberry festivals being held this weekend at Smolak Farms (Andover), Verrill Farm (Concord), Connors Farm (Danvers), Russell Orchards (Ipswich), Wilson Farm (Lexington), Ward’s Berry Farm (Sharon), and Land’s Sake Farm (Weston).