Here I've spent the first half of 2014 thinking I could no longer run giveaways for THE OBVIOUS GAME on Goodreads because it was published in 2013. (The dropdown in the author tools area only give you options for the year prior to your pub date and the year of your pub date.) I was sad, because Goodreads giveaways are such a win/win. They are inexpensive for an author to run (you only pay for the books and shipping) and they provide exposure as each sign-up adds the book to the signee's to-read shelf, thus giving the author and the book exposure she wouldn't otherwise have had. Lately most of my dealings with THE OBVIOUS GAME have been either asking people to review it or answering emails from people who love people with eating disorders (in which really what can I say but, "Well, I wrote an entire book about what I want to say to you now, so maybe you could read that and then let me know if you want to talk more"). The answering the emails part is really hard. Really hard. But I am really glad I at least have the book to point them to.

And this is the part where I say, "Hey, if you've read THE OBVIOUS GAME, could you drop me a review on Goodreads and Amazon? It doesn't even have to be nice! Nobody likes everything." And then I follow that up by saying, "If you haven't read THE OBVIOUS GAME, mightn't you request it at your library, and if your librarian has trouble, she can contact me and I will get her the book with my author discount?" And then you might say, "But I really want to help you MORE." So of course I would smile sincerely and say, "Well, you could buy my book! Or even just share the giveaway so more people will know it exists." And then I burst into tears and throw my arms around you.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Obvious Game

by Rita Arens

Giveaway ends October 27, 2014.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

 

Enter to win

Here I've spent the first half of 2014 thinking I could no longer run giveaways for THE OBVIOUS GAME on Goodreads because it was published in 2013. (The dropdown in the author tools area only give you options for the year prior to your pub date and the year of your pub date.) I was sad, because Goodreads giveaways are such a win/win. They are inexpensive for an author to run (you only pay for the books and shipping) and they provide exposure as each sign-up adds the book to the signee's to-read shelf, thus giving the author and the book exposure she wouldn't otherwise have had. Lately most of my dealings with THE OBVIOUS GAME have been either asking people to review it or answering emails from people who love people with eating disorders (in which really what can I say but, "Well, I wrote an entire book about what I want to say to you now, so maybe you could read that and then let me know if you want to talk more"). The answering the emails part is really hard. Really hard. But I am really glad I at least have the book to point them to.

And this is the part where I say, "Hey, if you've read THE OBVIOUS GAME, could you drop me a review on Goodreads and Amazon? It doesn't even have to be nice! Nobody likes everything." And then I follow that up by saying, "If you haven't read THE OBVIOUS GAME, mightn't you request it at your library, and if your librarian has trouble, she can contact me and I will get her the book with my author discount?" And then you might say, "But I really want to help you MORE." So of course I would smile sincerely and say, "Well, you could buy my book! Or even just share the giveaway so more people will know it exists." And then I burst into tears and throw my arms around you.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Obvious Game

by Rita Arens

Giveaway ends October 27, 2014.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

 

Enter to win

... I've been reading a ton of books for BlogHer Book Club. And I do believe I've forgotten to link some of my reviews. (swears under breath)

First! Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks. It's historical fiction about the first Native American to graduate from Harvard.

Here's an excerpt:

Bethia and Caleb reminded me a bit of Katniss and Gale in the Hunger Games trilogy, if you're familiar with that, although this is definitely literary women's fiction and not young adult fiction. But we all love a star-crossed-friendship-maybe-based-on-sexual-attraction, don't we?

Read the rest on BlogHer

Second! Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok (spoiler alert). It's literary fiction about an immigrant Chinese girl who works in a sweatshop before entering the Ivy Leagues. (Jean Kwok is my new favorite author -- and she's become a friend.)

Here's an excerpt:

Though it's eye-opening and interesting to read about the life of a new immigrant in modern America (Kimberly's friend remarks, "people don't live this way in this country!" with the shock and dismay I felt upon reading it), the strength of Girl in Translation is the force of Kimberly and her ability to see herself for what she is and what she is not.

Read the rest on BlogHer

The stack of books in my to-read pile just keeps getting bigger and bigger. This is why I can't get into Angry Birds. What if the world ends in 2012?

I carried my niece on my shoulders, bouncing her up and down as we walked along the sidewalk in the fading light. The little angel and my other niece raced ahead, then back, and I saw something new in my daughter's eyes.

Jealousy.

She clung to my waist, asking to be lifted, all of her seven years. I shooed her away, clinging to the little waist above my head, making sure I wouldn't drop the two-year-old who squealed above me.

When we got back to the house, the little angel crawled under the deck and sulked.

I put down my two-year-old niece, keeping one eye on her as she raced about the yard, bouncing off grass blades and seeking, as two-year-olds are wont to do, anything dangerous that might exist in the world.

"What's the matter, Baby Duck?" I asked, as I peeked under the deck.

She buried her face in her knees.

And I knew. It kind of made me laugh, but not really. But sort of. Especially since it's not really my problem. I don't have any other kids. I knew it was all temporary. And my heart went out, a little, to those who have birthed more than one child.

I'm spoiled, you see. Sure, I have to play with her a lot more than my friends with more than one child have to don Zhu Zhu gear, but I really never have to deal with this.

At last Beloved appeared on the scene to chase our nieces and I crawled under the deck to assess the little angel's degree of sulk.

"You know you're still the Baby Duck," I said.

"I know," she said, to her knees.

"What are you doing? You don't even have to share me, ever! You should be happy to play with your cousins."

"I'm mad at you."

I sighed, picked a piece of grass from between the rocks.

"Okay," I said. "If that's the way you feel."

She looked up.

"But you could be my tickle monster assistant if you like."

And so it went, me the tickle monster, her my minion, chasing down nieces for tickling.

And then we came home, and it went back to the way it's always been, just the three of us rotating in our little solar system. We don't know how to be any other way, really. It's just us, it's always been just us. And I wonder how other families do it -- I see the pictures on Facebook, I hear about how lovely it is to have siblings love on each other, I see it with my nieces and nephews, and my heart sometimes wishes the little angel had a sibling to love on her.

But it's fleeting, because really I think we're sort of stuck in our ways. We like our family just the way it is.

---

New review of The Murderer's Daughters on Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews!

She perched on my lap as I pointed to the screen. Together we watched the final pieces of BlogHer Book Club come together.

"What is it?" she asked. "It's pretty."

"It's a place where women will read books and write reviews of them for you to see. Then if the book sounds good, you can buy it with these cute little buttons."

"Who's that?" She pointed to Sassymonkey.

"She's hosting the book club. She's been writing about books for years and years. Her name is Karen."

"She has red hair, too."

"Yes."

"She's pretty, too."

"Yes. But also, very smart."

She rested her head on my shoulder. "So this is part of your job?"

"Yup."

"I want to work for the San Diego Zoo when I grow up."

"Well, you just might. Hold onto that."

We launched the book club just after she ran upstairs to take a bath. When it was all said and done, I went upstairs and ousted Beloved from the book-reading spot.

"Did it go okay?" she asked, curling up to me.

"Yes. It's gorgeous."

"Good. Now read."

And I read.

Please go check out BlogHer Book Club! Our first book is Caleb's Crossing, by Geraldine Brooks. Read my review here. It is pretty awesome, even though I'm completely biased.

It seems I forgot to do this last month. Oops.

In December, I got a new job! At BlogHer! So I suspect most of my posts from now on will be showing you what I've been doing over there. However, as Cagey pointed out at Average Jane's cookie soiree, "You never link, then you just tell me about the post. I want to read it." This is a good point. I should link. I wrote about the Elf on the Shelf vs. Jesus this month. You might want to read it. (FYI: there is a little widget in my left sidebar that links to my work on BlogHer. But it doesn't catch everything else so I will keep doing this for myself mostly.)

In which I finally break into national print:

• Let's Get Together -- November 2009 issue of Scholastic Parent & Child

In which I judge others:

• Kid Suspended for Camping Utensils as Schools Are Forced to Parent -- I really hate it when schools have to take a hardline because they don't really know which kids are insane.
• Why Is Yelling a Parental Hot Button? -- I maintain that if I meant to yell? I meant to yell.
• Our Daughters' Hair Length: Let the Armchair Psychoanalysis Begin -- Why does everyone keep telling me how long my kid's hair should be or if she wears it up or down?

In which I judge myself:

• He Sees You When You're Sleeping: The Elf on the Shelf vs. Jesus -- I think the title pretty much sums it up.
• Has Swine Flu Created the Purell Period in History? -- I'm so ambivalent about magic goo.

In which I question society:

• Grandparents and Their Truckloads of Gifts -- Note to Ma and Beloved's mom: I'm not talking about you.
• Does Everybody Really Hate Mommy? -- Views from both sides of the stroller.
• When Does Bullying Stop and Start? -- I hope NEVER.

Community and citizen journalism projects at BlogHer:

• What the Heck is a Momspotter? -- I'm project editing a citizen journalism project at BlogHer, which I was doing before I got my new job. We're discussing parenting in a digital age. I think it's cool.
• We Want to See Your Holiday Hot Mess -- A photo contest at BlogHer where people post photos of their messy houses. Probably the most fun I've ever had at work. Go check out the entries.

Reviews:

• A is for Admission: The Insider's Guide to Getting into the Ivy League and Other Top Colleges -- not for the faint of heart
• The Double-Daring Book for Girls -- a must-have addition to The Daring Book for Girls
• Cat Ladies -- I loved it so much I made all my former co-workers watch it at the office.
• The Case for Make Believe: Saving Play in a Commercialized World -- solidified my resolve not to buy close-ended toys
• MedSafe -- hide your prescription drugs from your teens 
• Great Discoveries: Explorations That Changed History -- Time did a great job with this entertaining coffee book.
• SnapGifts -- Get your giftcard in .02 seconds, shipped next day

Enjoy your holiday week!

I got the little angel a Barbie Head (I don't know what they are really called -- that's what I call them) at a garage sale this summer. She is OBSESSED. The stupid thing says things like "Let's change my style!" and "How about a barrette!" to the extent I think I'm going to have to secretly disable her. Why must everything talk? And she has no tray. like the old-school Barbie Heads. I mean, really.

The stylist runs a tight ship.  Taking her roots from a great-grandmother who had a master's degree in home economics, she sets a stunning table at her dinner parties for Bella the Cat and Statue the Dressmaker's Bust.

The stylist demands complete and total attention while she focuses on learning, etiquette and fashion.

The stylist can be uninspired when it comes to mix-and-match, but she's only four.

Fortunately, the stylist has two extremely hip assistants.

Typically, the stylist will begin by taking BEFORE pictures.

Sometimes she interviews the client regarding lifestyle, maintenance preferences and aptitude for risk.

The stylist is not afraid to bring the outside in.

This client is 30 years old and not afraid of color.

Samantha Ronson goes outside for a smoke break.

Some clients embrace styling more than others.

When styling secrets must be hidden from the paparazzi, styling is conducted in the fort.

But the result is SO worth it.  Totally trendsetting, dahling.  We now get an additional four channels, plus Cinemax, at Ma's house.

TA DA!

_____________________________________

Updated to add my review of Parent & Child magazine on Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews and a link to my BlogHer post this week on traveling away from your child.

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. I've noticed I'm not alone -- a lot of folks in the blogosphere have been in a state of malaise for the past month or so.  I think my main problem is that I've been running on adrenaline -- I can almost feel it downloading into my veins on an hourly basis -- for about three months now.  In addition to my lovely full-time job, I've been planning this book tour (soooo not complaining, but let's be honest, it's a lot of work, but still, sooooo not complaining) in my "free time," and our family social schedule has kicked into preschool-ballet-class-recital-coming-up, backyard-barbecues, weddings-and-other-summer-travel, mow-the-lawn-every-week, full-on hypergear.  And my child!  My adorable child!  Who suddenly has started fighting me about every decision, every movement of her little finger, from which toilet to use when she has to pee to what she'll be eating for dinner to which barrette will go in her hair to when she can give Bella her treats.  EVERY DECISION.  EVERY TIME.  And lo, some days I am just NOT UP TO THIS. 

Yesterday I hit a big wall.  I called my husband crying after driving a half hour to my OB-GYN's office for the yearly appointment that apparently hasn't happened since 2005 (gulp - please cervical cancer, do not be there) and has been rescheduled twice, only to wait a half hour, get completely undressed, and then hear my doctor being paged to go deliver a baby as I sat waiting for him.  Ten minutes later, and I would've been done.  So I hopped off the table, rescheduled for the third time, and headed home.  Two hours wasted.  And I had SO MUCH TO DO.  My husband, rock star that he is, gave me a very firm pep talk about finishing strong, and how these book events are like replacing the door hinges and light switches when you remodel a room.  Why would you go to all the work to remodel a room and then ignore the details?  And I know he is so right.  I'm just so tired. 

After that, I was talking to Blondie when she got some bad news, and then my head started trying to figure out how to also fix Blondie's life in addition to attending to mine, even though I know she doesn't want me to fix her life and GOOD LORD, SHE IS AN ADULT AND DOESN'T NEED ME and all that, but I think my concern for her then pushed me completely over the edge.  I forced myself to focus on my job when I got back home (working from home again), and I made good progress, but I'm in the process of doing the technical equivalent of sorting a bale of hay into a new hay bale configuration.   I made like 200 changes and was still not done with even one tiny section.  FRUSTRATION.  Five o'clock came. I realized I hadn't written my BlogHer post for Monday yet.  By the time I was finished with that, I realized the little angel was going to be one of the last kids picked up at daycare AGAIN.  Failing, AGAIN.  Now I know some would say that is not a failure, but I hate how much time she spends at daycare, and if I hadn't had to blow two hours at the goddamn-someone-else's-baby (yes, I was in THAT frame of mind) doctor, MY BABY would've been picked up a lot earlier.

I brought her home.  She was not fighting me.  She wanted green eggs.  We watered the flowers.  She helped me make green eggs.  We ate our eggs, then we sat outside while she ate pudding and watched for my husband to come home from his guitar lesson. We decided to go across the street to the park.  I pushed her on the swing for a while, thinking how nice it was to have a park so nearby, and how much I really do love my new neighborhood, the neighborhood that I guess isn't new anymore, because we moved into Chateau Travolta a year ago next week, and how GOD WHY CAN'T I JUST RELAX ALREADY? 

The little angel broke my revelry.  "Push me higher!"

I pushed her higher.

"Push me higher!"

I pushed her the highest she's ever gone.

"Look, Mommy!  I'm getting lost in the sky!"

And then, like Bailey on Grey's Anatomy, I think I was able to see the big picture.

---------------------------------------------
Exercise makes you smarter.  Read the review at Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews.