Yesterday, I went over to Erin Margolin's house to do a practice run-through of the Kansas City Listen to Your Mother show. Basically there are somewhere near a dozen of us, and we're all performing a short essay we wrote about motherhood, daughterhood or some mix of the two. Before we started, Co-Director Laura Seymour was all, "Hey, is anyone good at opening champagne?"

I've worked at four restaurants and a dog track. So I was all, "I AM." There was nervous tittering, because let's face it -- most of us didn't know each other and we were in someone's basement drinking champagne and preparing to expose our innermost secrets in preparation for taking the entire show live in a few weeks. WHAT'S TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT?

So there I was, test-driving my new gray-and-orange-striped-Calvin-Klein-from-Marshall's dress that is super-crazy tight but also super-crazy comfortable, my jacket to hide my nervous-armpit-sweating habit and my Kanye mail-order-discount glasses. The last five champagne bottles I've opened have had a pop, but I've always been able to hold onto the cork. If I didn't know Erin better, I'd suspect her of shaking this bottle all the way home from Costco, because when I opened it, the cork shot out of my hand and the champagne came spraying out so fast I was covered in it, down to my dripping glasses, in nanoseconds. 

It was champagne hubris, y'all. 

It's fortunate that I have an extremely high tolerance for making an ass of myself, because I was COVERED in champagne. My right armpit smelled like New Year's Eve 1998. Still, I cleaned myself up and sipped a little of that champagne while I listened to a bunch of new friends read some truly amazing essays. I laughed, I cried, I wore champagne with pride.

Our show is going to be on Saturday, May 11 from 7-9.  A portion of the proceeds from ticket sales go to the Rose Brooks Center, and there will be a representative from Rose Brooks at the performance to answer your questions about that organization.

A few of us (me included) will be selling our books there afterward. I'll be selling SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK for $10 and THE OBVIOUS GAME for $15, cash or check only. I'll also have some bookplates for THE OBVIOUS GAME in case you already bought it and are like I DON'T WANT TO BUY IT AGAIN I JUST FORGOT TO BRING IT SO PLEASE SIGN THIS STICKER FOR ME AND IT'LL BE ALL GOOD. 'Cause that's the glory of bookplates! Which are really just address labels, but don't tell! The little angel will be assisting me, and she glories in that role, so even if you don't want a book, please stop by and say hi if you are there.

DJ Nibbles loves LTYM.

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In other Mother's Day news, there's a special promo code and a $50 gift card giveaway over on Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews for custom, kid-artwork-inspired iPhone cases. (Twofer)

I'm really excited to share this news. I'm on the board at The Writers Place and will talking about prose and THE OBVIOUS GAME on one of the workshop days.

Now Enrolling for Writers' Block Summer Youth Workshops

The Writers Place is currently enrolling students ages 12 - 18 in itssummer writing workshops.  Featuring published, experiencedwriters/instructors and renowned guest speakers the workshops beinteractive and exciting.  To enroll click here.

Writers Place members may enroll for both weeks on this Web page,at the reduced rate of $125 for both weeks — then selecting "Additem(s) to your cart," and proceeding to checkout, using a debit orcredit card to pay tuition on our secure site. Members can use this pageto enroll only in the first week on Poetry (July 8-12); or use this page to enroll only in the second week on Prose (July 8-12) — both at the weekly rate of $75/enrollee.

Non-members in The Writers Place members may enroll for both weeks on this page ($150/enrollee). Non-members can use this page to enroll only in the first week on Poetry (July 8-12); or use this page to enroll only in the second week on Prose (July 8-12) — both at the rate of $100/enrollee.

But do the math, non-members! Studentmemberships are just $20/year, and regular members' children qualify formember-rate enrollment in this special program: Why not join TheWriters Place, for immediate savings? You can do so by first visiting our membership page and signing up, then "continue shopping" to add your workshop selection from the "Member Store."

Joining The Writers Place will bring you a full 12 months of other benefits, too, listed under "Membership" on this Web page.

This Friday night at 7 pm, I'm going to be reading from THE OBVIOUS GAME with my former professor and mentor, Michael Pritchett, author of THE MELANCHOLY FATE OF CAPT. LEWIS. (Yes, it's THAT Capt. Lewis. The one who hung out with Clark.) I'm not sure if Michael will be reading from TMFoCL or his novel-in-progress, but I have heard him read from both, and his stage delivery is awesome. You'll be quite convinced he hates writing with the power of a thousand suns, but you know, in a good way. I find it existentially hilarious.

It has occurred to me that I should probably practice for this reading. I have never read from a novel before. I have also not had too much time to get nervous about it, because last week MAJOR CHRISTIAN RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY and also MOMMY TOTALLY UNDERDELIVERED ON THE EASTER BASKET and then THIS SATURDAY IS THE LITTLE ANGEL'S BIRTHDAY and then OUR CAT JUST DIED AND A BUNCH OF OTHER CRAZY SHIT WENT DOWN IN OUR PERSONAL LIVES and well, holy hell. It's Monday, I don't have a birthday card for my daughter yet (I do have the big gift, but she probably needs some other little things to open), I don't have a game plan for anything and I'm taking a SEWING CLASS on Thursday, the night before my parents and sister arrive to stay with us for said reading and birthday party and oh, holy hell, I hope I've scrubbed the smell of Buttonsworth's last accident out of the playroom carpet (hydrogen peroxide and baking soda).

If you want to attend the reading, all the details are on this Evite. The reading will be from 7-9 at The Writers Place in Kansas City. Both Michael and I will have some books for sale or to sign, and I'll bring some signed bookplates for anyone who wants one unless I run out. Thanks, as always, for all your support of my writing. It means so much.

While I was looking for a publisher for THE OBVIOUS GAME, I started my next novel. It's tentatively called THE BIRTHRIGHT OF PARKER CLEAVES. I had to start something, because the waiting was killing me. In the past few weeks, I've returned to it with a vengeance to keep myself from becoming obsessed with how THE OBVIOUS GAME is selling, because at this point I've done pretty much everything in my power to sell it with pretty much zero marketing budget and a very indie distribution model. The reviews are good, and I can only hope word of mouth will take it from here. ONWARD!

THE OBVIOUS GAME took three years to write, but I thought I was done with it after one year. ROOKIE MISTAKE! I made the second rookie mistake of sending it out in that condition before it was ready. I'm determined not to do that with PARKER CLEAVES. I also had a lot of structural difficulties with TOG. I had scenes that didn't make any sense in the larger context of the story, characters that appeared out of nowhere with a huge role to play (Lin) but no backstory and pacing problems (too slow). (Which is interesting, because one reviewer said it now moves too fast. I think that's a YA genre thing -- moving the plot along quickly was something I heard over and over again from agents.)

I had about half of TOG written before I really started outlining the second half. Originally, the story ended right after Diana's big scene with Lin outside the school (no spoilers). Then a literary agent told me the story needed another half. Of course, that was hard to hear (I thought I was done!), but it was awesome advice. It absolutely needed another half, because all the best parts of the story (in my opinion) are in the last third of the book. Let's all thank God for unanswered prayers.

This time, I'm all about the outline. Some writers can't funtion that way, but we are all special snowflakes, and I've always worked best from an outline. I was one of the only people I know who actually used them for papers in high school. I decided it would be easier if I had a software program to help me. Most writers I know use Srivener, but I got an email deal for StoryMill and from what I can tell, they are pretty similar. The only issue I have with StoryMill is that it's on my desktop Mac, so if I want to work on TBoPC when I'm not at home, I have to export the outline to Word and print it or work on it from a different PC. Lately I've been completely overwhelmed looking at StoryMill, so I've been picking a scene to work on and writing it out longhand. I know! I haven't written longhand in years, but this is what is keeping me from freaking out right now. I'm going with it.

The other cool thing about software is that you can keep a running list of characters and tag your scenes with characters so you don't make that mistake I originally made with Lin -- a secondary character who becomes important but has no backstory. It's not easy to go back and sprinkle backstory like the Novel Fairy. By tagging characters to scenes, I can easily tell if there's a character who appears too much for his/her role in the story or not enough. I can also grab entire scenes and move them pretty painlessly. I wish I'd had that with TOG, because I ended up starting in five different places before I got it right. That was some white-knuckled cut-and-paste, I tell you.

Here's a list of my characters so far for TBoPC. I'm not sure about all of them. I haven't written Uncle Mike into the story yet at all. He may get replaced with a closer peer to Parker. There's a role that character needs to play, but I haven't decided who he is yet, only that he is a he. Also, who the fuck is Angela? I've already forgotten. Oops. Christopher was originally Clyde, but my husband told me he just couldn't relate to a Clyde in that role. I actually loved the name Clyde for spoiler-y reasons, but Beloved is usually right about knee-jerk reader reactions, so I've learned to trust him even though I think he's totally wrong. Time will tell.

If you click on each of those, you could see a character sketch if I had actually done one, which I haven't. I usually only need those before I start writing, because once I get going, the character evolves so quickly in my head the descriptions just end up getting outdated too fast and are confusing. And embarrassing -- as IF I thought Helen would have brown hair, OMG! Yes, writers can even get embarrassed by themselves to themselves even if no one else is watching. Occupational hazard.

I recently read in one of my writing magazines that you should think of your shitty first draft as the clay, not the sculpture. When I was writing TOG, I thought I was working on the sculpture and tried to make the first draft all perfect. This time, I'm fully aware I'm puking out clay and that this draft sucks as a piece of writing and exists mostly to figure out the plot. Much less stressful. I'm about 16k words in, and I expect I'll top out at about 75k before I start revising. TOG is just under 69k, for reference, and I've been given the guideline of 50k-90k for young adult. The scenes I'm writing are all half-finished. I just try to get the mood for the scene right and if any dialogue comes to me out of the clear blue or because I'm eavesdropping in a food court, I get it down right away before I forget it. That's why those scenes in StoryMill are so nice. That method totally does not work in Word.

TOG focused on what it feels like to have an eating disorder and how to come back from one. TBoPC isn't an issues novel -- it will be a story about power, who has it and why.

Hey, y'all. Here's my latest Goodreads giveaway. This is for a paperback copy. Scroll down for the latest Surrender, Dorothy post!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Obvious Game

by Rita Arens

Giveaway ends April 30, 2013.

See the giveaway detailsat Goodreads.

Enter to win

Last night I was having dinner with a writer friend of mine. I'd brought her my extra copy of THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO GETTING YOUR BOOK PUBLISHED by The Book Doctors (Arielle Eckstut and David Henry Sterry, who let me introduce them and their darling child to Jalepeno's and Reading Reptile on their last swing through Kansas City). My friend left the table toward the end of the meal, and a man about my dad's age leaned over from the next table (which was very nearby), gestured to the book and asked if I was trying to publish a book.

I got to tell him my novel came out last month. That was super fun.

We got into a conversation in which he told us he is voracious reader on his Kindle, that his eyesight isn't so good for print anymore, and that he'd like to publish a book. His wife leaned in at one point to say he was a fine writer, a gesture so sweet and loving I almost fell out of my chair. He asked if I'd majored in English, and I said not the first time. He told me he'd been a lawyer for years because his father wanted him to, and he really hated being a lawyer but he liked to write. I ended up giving him my author card and telling him it's never too late to write.

Because it's never too late to write.*

*Sometimes it's too late to write well. This post could've been a lot better if I had more time. But it's a cool story, and I'll totally forget it if I don't put it down. So, sorry! But still cool, eh?

Thanks to my friend Alice for hosting a giveaway of a copy of THE OBVIOUS GAME on her blog, Finslippy. Alice's idea was to have people comment their most awkward teenage moment, from which she would then chose a winner. I highly approve of her selection:

When I was 14, I had the biggest crush on this football player (witha bowl haircut? what?). So of course, my idiot friends, Bowl Cut, and Ithought it'd be super cool to sneak little bottles of booze into thewoods outside of a big German fest and get drunk off of god awful cheapliquor. Freshmen are totally smart and consistently make good decisions.Cut to: Bowl Cut wants me to go on a a ride called The Breakdance. Youknow the one. You're in a pod that's spinning, on an arm that'sspinning, while the whole thing SPINS. As we're hurling through the airand the neon lights are wavering back and forth and whizzing up anddown, Bowl Cut turns to me and says, "I don't feel so good." Iconfidently responded, "Me neither, but there's no way I'm going to besick." Then, my mouth opened. A river of vomit projected out of my faceand hit every single other car on The Breakdance. The ride was spinningso violently that there was nothing anyone could do but hope their eyesand mouth were closed at the right time. And guess what? Bowl Cut didNOT want to be my boyfriend after that! I know... I was confused too.

Yay, Kate!

If you need a laugh on this Friday, go read the 52 awkward moments in the comments. Many, many are worthy.

My parents and sister were down last weekend. Right before they left, my mom looked at me and said, "You seem happy." And she's right -- I am happy fairly consistently right now.

I would say I'm in a good place, only I no longer believe in good places and bad places, only places. One might think I'm happy because my novel just came out, but in actuality, I got totally anxious and angsty when I signed my contract, so good things happening for me professionally don't necessarily translate into good things happening to my mental health. I'm sure that seems ridiculous, but it happens all the time. Look at how many people -- particularly creative people -- fall apart a little right after they get a break. I think change is hard no matter what type of change it is, because it's fucking scary. Putting out a novel means I have to up my game next time, and people will read it and maybe hate it and talk about it -- so many things for my anxiety to grab onto.

I'm actually shocked I'm happy right now. Even though that sounds ridiculous.

Last Saturday I woke up snarly and snarled at Beloved and the little angel before I took her to ballet. As I was sitting there waiting for ballet to be done, I realized how familiar that snarl had felt, how I used to an extremely frequent snarler, and how I had committed to myself and my husband a few years ago to really stop snarling and try to look at the world more optimistically. I'm by nature melancholy, and it's a real effort for me to instantly see the good instead of the bad. However, I've noticed the more I work at it, the easier it is. When I snarled, he responded with, "Why are you yelling at me?" and I didn't know the answer to that question. I think I surprised him because I have not snarled quite like that in so long.

I sat there worrying I'd introduced a new tone into our house that was going to creep back into our lives. I texted him, called him, made sure he knew I didn't mean it and wanted to start the day again. And then we did, and my family showed up, and my mother's takeaway is that I seem happy.

I've learned to work toward happy. I still have mood swings, sometimes very bad ones, but I try not to show my irritability or randomly thrash those around me when my heart beats fast and the hair on the back of my neck stands up for absolutely no reason but my body chemistry. I pray with my daughter, and we talk about the best part of the trip instead of what went wrong, and I pet the cats and wish for the thousandth time I could invent a purring, warm neck wrap to wear around when they aren't available. I try to take advantage of sunny corners the minute I see them, even if it's just for a few minutes. I try to do one thing at a time and give that one thing my full attention.

And even then, sometimes it still doesn't work. Sometimes I find myself deep breathing and staring at the wall without knowing why, and in those times I've learned to ask myself what human need could be met right in that moment that would make me feel better. Am I cold? Am I stiff? Am I thirsty? Am I tired? Would I like some music, less music? Are my clothes itchy?

I tell people I spend as much time managing my anxiety as some people do managing diabetes or asthma. I no longer look at these little breaks as wasting time, because that makes me more anxious, and the faster I can get things under control, the more productive the day will actually be, the more creativity I will be able to bring to my work. If I am not anxious, I won't foist that tone on my household.

And so when my mother told me I seemed happy, I actually took it as a compliment more than an observation. I haven't always been a happy person, but I'm working toward that. I want to be a happy old person one of these days.

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• The Obvious Game review and giveaway on What If No One's Watching?
• The Obvious Game excerpt and giveaway on A Dream Within a Dream
• The Obvious Game excerpt on Book Maven's Picks
• Interview on I Like These Books
• Review on author Kelly Hashway's blog

Why not?

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THE OBVIOUS GAME update, for those of you who haven't gotten sick of me yet. (Hi, Ma!)

• Sticking with this particular project on the first-ever literary blog, Beatrice
• How blogging changed my life on RookieMoms
• Review on The Headless Family
• Review on Deva By Definition
• 5 reasons to read THE OBVIOUS GAME with your teen on Angela Amman's blog
• My favorite indie bookstore on Acting Up with Books
• Review on Vinobaby's Voice
• New Goodreads Giveaway
• New LibraryThing Giveaway