Posts tagged thanksgiving
Thanksgiving Is a Special Kind of Hell When You're Anorexic

Thanksgiving posts have taken over the internet, and everywhere I look I am confronted with pictures of food. 

Pumpkin-shine

When I was anorexic, Thanksgiving was my least favorite holiday. My extended family got together, and someone always made pie that not only had half the calories of my daily self-imposed limit, but also came attached with happy childhood memories and the knowledge it was made by someone I loved very much.

Holidays can be hard for any number of reasons, but for anorexics and their people, they contain so many potential landmines. If the anorexic has been hiding out under baggy clothes, her condition might not be noticed as much by those who are with her every day, but it will be glaring to someone who hasn't seen her in six months or a year. When an entire holiday is about eating too much, not eating or eating very little makes everyone else sit up and pay attention. Someone not eating can make someone who has overeating problems feel doubly defensive. Plus, family. Just family. It doesn't take much to set people off who have been forced to leave their own houses and spend an afternoon crowded together being thankful.

Then there's being thankful. It's hard to be thankful when you're depressed or in the grips of anxiety or OCD or an eating disorder. My head was extremely crowded in those years, mostly thinking about food I wouldn't let myself eat. 

I'm thankful every day that those painful Thanksgivings are behind me now. This is the first Thanksgiving I've had something to offer besides a blog post for those who are anorexic or those who are going to find themselves sitting across the table from a very thin person and worrying this holiday season. For less than the price of a turkey, I can offer my novel. 

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I haven't done a lot of promotion in the past six months here, but I wanted to share the background of my book again for anyone new. 

“Everyone trusted me back then. Good old, dependable Diana. Which is why most people didn’t notice at first.”

"Your shirt is yellow."

"Your eyes are blue."

"You have to stop running away from your problems." 

"You're too skinny."

Fifteen-year-old Diana Keller accidentally begins teaching The Obvious Game to new kid Jesse on his sixteenth birthday. As she buries her shock about her mother's fresh cancer diagnosis in cookbooks, peach schnapps and Buns of Steel workouts, Diana both seduces athlete Jesse and shoves him away under the guise of her carefully constructed sentences. As their relationship deepens, Diana avoids Jesse's past with her own secrets -- which she'll protect at any cost. Will Diana and Jesse's love survive his wrestling obsession and the Keller family's chaos, or will all their important details stay buried beneath a game? 

Praise for The Obvious Game:

"Lovely, evocative, painful and joyful all  in one ... much like high school." --Jenny Lawson, author of LET'S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED 

“I couldn’t put down THE OBVIOUS GAME. Arens perfectly captures the hunger, pain and uncertainty of adolescence.” -- Ann Napolitano, author of A GOOD HARD LOOK and WITHIN ARM'S REACH

"THE OBVIOUS GAME is a fearless, honest, and intense look into the psychology of anorexia. The characters—especially Diana--are so natural and emotionally authentic that you’ll find yourself yelling at the page even as you’re compelled to turn it." -- Coert Voorhees, author of LUCKY FOOLS and THE BROTHERS TORRES

"Let’s be clear about one thing: there’s nothing obvious about THE OBVIOUS GAME. Arens has written a moving, sometimes heart-breaking story about one girl’s attempt to control the uncontrollable. You can’t help but relate to Diana and her struggles as you delve into this gem of a novel." -- Risa Green, author of THE SECRET SOCIETY OF THE PINK CRYSTAL BALL

"THE OBVIOUS GAME explores the chasms between conformity and independence, faith and fear, discoveries and secrets, first times and last chances, hunger and satisfaction. The tortured teenage experience is captured triumphantly within the pages of this unflinching, yet utterly relatable, novel. -Erica Rivera, author of INSATIABLE: A YOUNG MOTHER’S STRUGGLE WITH ANOREXIA 

Book Information:

Publisher: Inkspell Publishing

Release Date: Feb 7th, 2013

ISBN: 978-0-9856562-7-0 (ebook), 978-0-9856562-8-7 (Paperback)

Paperback Price: $13.99

Kindle: $4.99

Thanksgiving is a time when things start coming to a head for Diana, who started out "normal." The novel follows her thoughts and feelings into the abyss ... and back out. If you're a family member or friend who wants to throttle their anorexic loved one, this book can help you understand the psychology of suffering from this condition. If you're full-blown anorexic yourself, I'm so sorry. This book contains the sentences that helped me break out of the mind-space that could have killed me. If you just have a weird relationship with food, you might find yourself examining why you initiated your set of rules that determine when you can eat, why, with whom and how much. And if you just like contemporary young adult novels that ask really hard questions about growing up, you might like it as a read.

The next few weeks are going to be really hard for a lot of people who struggle with their relationship with food. For some, it's never "just a doughnut." If you're anorexic, taking one bite more than you planned can feel like bungee jumping off a bridge. I remember wondering why these people who loved me kept asking me to put myself through that. So be kind if you see someone staring in misery at her plate on Thanksgiving. Eating disorders are nobody's fault, and recovery takes a village. Take care of each other.

Giving Thanks We're Not the Duggars
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The sound was deafening in the Happy Joe's party room. Twelvechildren ranging in age from just over one to a college freshman weretaking turns sitting on a game-ticket-purchased whoopee cushion andhowling with laughter. We'd just come off an hour of bumper bowling,and the kids could barely contain themselves after being stuffed fortwo days straight with myriad cookies and other sweets while taking over a three-bedroom condo also occupied by 14 adults.

As I passed my one of my seven brothers-in-law to refill my large soda, he gesturedto the kids chanting each other's names as they passed the whoopeecushion.

"Just think, Rita," he said, laughing, "If you were the Duggars, all these kids would be seven short of your nuclear family."

I looked back at the trashed party room, the piles of plastic crap,the discarded utensils and wadded up, pizza-sauced napkins, and imaginedmy life if I had 19 kids.

Then I laughed my mother-of-an-only-child-for-sanity-purposes ass off and went to refill my glass, knowing I'd made the right choice for me.

More power to you, huge families. I enjoyed my huge extended family this weekend. I adore every one of them, and when I hugged all my nieces and nephews goodbye, I almost felt like crying, I love them so much. But now, back at home, I treasure the quiet and the calm. I am lucky, lucky, lucky to have access to both worlds.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Here's hoping you had a lovely time with your families and your digestive tracts recover nicely.

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Help your child reconnect with make believe on Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews!

Sometimes I Can't Stop the Judgey
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Last night I got all wound over Lynn Harris' article on Salon, which I'm covering on BlogHer on Monday. I started the post fifteen different ways, and no matter how I proceeded, I found myself on my high horse and riding. Standing on my soapbox and preaching, like the homeless guy who spouted whoremongers and hellfire on the Pentacrest at the University of Iowa in the mid-nineties.

It's something I sometimes do. I preach. I can't stand to see people treat each other with such disrespect. This isn't satire, this isn't comedy -- those comments are just MEAN.

I'll be offline for a few days to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. Please check out my piece on BlogHer on Monday, and enjoy your holiday. Go forth and let thee not be an ass.

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Read a review of Cat Ladies on Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews!