[Editor's Note: This post originally appeared on BlogHer.com.]

Last Saturday, I packed my bag, drove to St. Louis and attended the young adult literature/anti-bullying Less Than Three Conference hosted by New York Times best-selling young adult author Heather Brewer.

I knew it would be interesting, but I didn't know it would be life-changing. The sessions ranged from cyber-bullying to self-bullying to school bullying to LGBTQ bullying and were led by young adult authors who had written novels discussing -- in some fashion -- bullying. By the end of the day, I learned every author up there had done what I myself have done: They wrote around the thing that hurt them.

A.S. King: "All bullying is embarrassing to the victim."

Heather Brewer gave the keynote address. "Fourth grade is the first time I remember wanting to die," she said, and the air in the room expanded in an instant. My daughter is in fourth grade. A little piece of my heart broke off and floated away imagining a fourth-grade Heather.

She told a story of trying to hang herself in her closet as a teen. When the bar broke, she didn't tell anyone, because she was unsupported at home and didn't have a friend -- not one friend -- until she was a freshman in high school. When she made that one friend, everyone said they were lesbians, because the only reason someone would hang out with her had to be sexual favors. Her teacher laughed at her the day someone wrote "LESBO" on her folder. She carried the folder all year to show it hadn't hurt her. She didn't care about being called a lesbian if she had a friend. All she wanted was a friend.

T.M. Goeglein: "Never think no matter what you say, it won't help -- if you have the chance to say something positive, do it."

Heather wasn't the only one. Every author had a story. They could remember the exact names of their bullies and see the faces of their bullies in their mind's eye. That these talented and successful people shared that shame drove home how universal the experience can be and how powerless anyone can feel at the hands of a bully.

Carrie Ryan: "The reason it gets better is that we make the choice to make it get better."

At the end of the day, I left St. Louis and drove back to Kansas City wondering how my life might have been different if I'd been one of those teens attending the panels, if I might not have fallen prey to anorexia, if I might have learned to love myself more and ignore the voices in my head telling me the rules were different for me. And I wondered if kids who bullied other kids in my high school might have thought twice if they'd heard Heather's story. "In every school, there is 'that kid,' and it is acceptable to pick on 'that kid,'" she said. "I was 'that kid.'" I remember several "that kids" I knew while growing up. I remember standing by. I remember joining in. I'm so ashamed to say that, but it's true. I never was a ringleader, but I was a follower of leaders. And really, there's no excuse for any of it. There are reasons but not excuses. By the time I was in high school, I knew better and I don't remember being mean, but by the second half of high school I was lost to the voices in my head forcing me to run bleachers and eat fewer than 800 calories a day even after it grew painful to sit and I grew fine hair all over my cheeks as my body tried to protect itself from my mind.

Ellen Hopkins: "You have to ask the person, "What is the reason behind self-harm?" Because there is always a reason."

Maybe I would've been different if I would've had the chance to hear successful adults talk about overcoming, surviving, moving forward. Maybe I would've been different if I'd had my nose stuck in Heather's story. "I'm in every school, and I'm usually quiet," she said. "Give me something to hold onto."

Give me something to hold onto.

Posts on Bullying

• Holli Long writes about being a safe person to talk to.

• Julie Ramanow writes about dealing with adult bullies in the workforce.

• Becoming Supermommy writes about being raped and abandoned in the snow at 14.

• Another Piece of Cake writes a thank-you note to her bullies.

Anti-Bullying Resources

• PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

• I Choose

• Project Anti-Bully

Cutting and Self-Harm Resources

• S.A.F.E. Alternatives (Self-Abuse Finally Ends): 1-800-366-2288.

• Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393.

• Kids Helpline – A helpline for children and teens in Australia to call at 1800 55 1800.

• Kids Help Phone – A helpline for kids and teens in Canada to call for help with any issue, including cutting and self-injury. Call 1-800-668-6868.

Support for LGBTQ Teens

• National directory of Gay-Straight Alliance school organizations

• The Trevor Project

• Welcoming Schools

Eating Disorder Resources

• AED Academy for Eating Disorders

• EDA Eating Disorders Anonymous

• Eating Disorder Coalition for Research, Policy and Action

• Eating Disorder Foundation

Yesterday, I found myself in the gastro doc's office for two and a half hours. We went through in detail my history of eating disorders, veganism, vegetarianism, surgeries, childhood afflictions and allergies, family history. The nurse practioner who spent so much time with me reviewed the results from my last colonoscopy. She told me all the things that could be causing my distress. She told me that the last gastro doc eyeballed my gut but didn't actually do a biopsy for celiac disease. She told me sometimes part of my stomach gets stuck in my esophogus. (!) She said they needed to start over. I began trying to hide my anxiety attack.

She ordered labs to look at my kidneys, thyroid, liver. She ordered an upper scope and colonoscopy for next week. She asked for all sorts of things too gross to list. She gave me a sheet on colitis. She told me a list of other drugs that might help, one of which was steroids. 

I started to cry.

I told her one of the ways I manage my eating disorder history is to try very hard to stay in a ten-pound window that is healthy and realistic. I told her I knew it's possible my mother is right and my ED contributed to my current suffering, but that talking about it like that makes me feel like I somehow did this to myself on purpose, which brings back memories of people thinking I did anorexia to myself on purpose, that I am to blame for everything bad that happens to my health. I told her I'm scared of steroids.

She dropped her papers and rolled herself over and touched my arm. She told me she understood and that would be a last resort.

I understand how stupid it sounds to be so afraid of weight gain. Welcome to the wonderful world of ED recovery. I write this here not because I want to scare my family into thinking I'll relapse, but because I work so very hard not to relapse, and I'm always actively managing what I put in my body with that in mind. It's important my doctors understand that if they have choices about which medication to give me, they should not give me the one with a side effect of weight gain. I've been shocked at how willy nilly doctors can be about not telling their patients this pill or that pill could make you gain forty pounds, by the way. It's true that everyone's body responds to things differently -- something I am learning more and more as I get older -- but still. If I were a doctor, I would tell people things like that.

And she said since I'm getting a colonoscopy next week, it won't make too much a difference to eat gluten. She suspects it's not gluten because the situation is so severe, but only a biopsy can tell for sure.

I went a week without eating any gluten at all. It was actually not as hard as I thought it would be. Eating at home was a snap. Eating out was a giant pain in the ass, but we only ate out one meal in that week I was off gluten. More and more, that's the case for us, especially in the summer. It's so expensive. I didn't realize how expensive eating out was until my husband lost his job last fall and we drastically cut our food budget. However, sometimes it's really fun and necessary and being gluten-free while eating out sucks eggs. 

She also bumped up my Welchol to three giant horse pills in the morning and evening to see if that would have any effect. She said at this point, it's just a process of elimination until we figure out what is causing my problems. As I stared at the chart listing all the things that can be wrong with my digestive system, I was pretty overwhelmed. And I felt pretty old. 

She asked me, though, to please let her keep trying to find the problem, since I admitted I'd only gone to two gastro docs once each because what they gave me didn't help. I asked her if she thought that was weird because clearly I had a problem, and she said, "You'd be surprised what people will tolerate until it becomes their normal."

Isn't that an interesting sentence? I am so stealing it.

So now that I have absolute, positive verification that no, what's happening with me is clinically significant, otherwise known as ZOMG YOU ARE A FREAK OF NATURE, I'm promising myself I'm going to figure out, at least, what is causing these issues and see what I can do to bring it down to a low roar. Even though the doctor's office called me in a panic this morning because my insurance is changing again and I don't know the new number and won't until July 1. And my colonoscopy is on July 3. 

Last night I ate a huge plate of broccoli and mac & cheese. Hello, gluten, my long-lost love.

I am so sick of my gut.

I have already been diagnosed with bile acid malabsorption and take medicine for it, two huge pills twice a day. However, those pills can't be taken within four hours of any other medicine or it won't be absorbed properly, either. Since I value my mental health more than my bowel health, I put the priority on taking my antidepressants at the same time every day, but whether I remember to take the other pills twice a day within four hours is another question. Some days, I am great. Other days, particularly at certain times in my cycle, I'm a train wreck. 

I asked my doctor whether I should eliminate gluten, both the regular doctor and the gastroentologist. I don't remember exactly what either one said, but I know neither of them instructed me to give up gluten, or I would've tried it. Without being directed by a doctor to do it, I've been totally dragging my feet, because the thought of someone saying, "Is there something here you can eat?" and worrying about making special meals so I can eat or worrying every time I go to a restaurant about what I will eat -- well, that feels a lot like the years I spent as a vegan and vegetarian to disguise my disordered eating. 

I really, really don't want have "bad" foods again.

But I'm so, so sick of feeling sick. 

I've asked people about it before, maybe even written about it here, I don't remember. I've heard you have to go for a month before you can even tell and you have to replace your toaster and there might be gluten in your medicine and your lotion and HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU ARE JUST SCREWED SO EMBRACE GOOD TOILET PAPER.

I could cry. Seriously. This is how much I hate thinking about regulating my diet like this. It's not that I'm so in love with bread. It's that I really despise thinking about food that much. It's a very short path for me from reading labels to counting calories and all the rest of it. 

Of course, I decided to try this experiment of eliminating gluten for at least two weeks right after eating a whole wheat tortilla for breakfast. I am going to try it anyway, as best as I can, then go back to see my doctor and discuss the situation with her again. She's moved to a new practice and my insurance is changing in July and hopefully that will all synch up so as not to cause weird insurance nightmares.

I HATE THIS. But I guess I have to try. I've been tested for celiac disease and Crohn's and lactose intolerance, and I don't have any of those. At one point in my life, I was told I had IBS, but ha ha! That was actually endometriosis. I know I'm getting older and having your body go all whack is just part of that, but I am having a big, fat pity party today, anyway. 

WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE

(sob)

It's Children's Book Week! Yay!

And to celebrate, I'm giving away a copy of THE OBVIOUS GAME and joining a bunch of other great authors and bloggers on a blog hop. (Although teens aren't really "children," YA falls in this category.)

In order to enter to win, please fill out the form below. Also! If you want to read THE OBVIOUS GAME but don't have a book budget, don't forget to ask your library to order it. Or if you just want to be nice, ask your library to order it. I'm not afraid to beg you to ask your library to order it. All you have to do is go up to the librarian (check to make sure the library doesn't already have it, of course), and ask them to order it! Aren't libraries fantastic? Don't forget high school libraries! And then, once you asked your library to order it, email me at ritajarens(at)gmail.com and I'll send you a signed book plate for your troubles.

Podcast is here -- talking all about Listen to Your Mother! 

The reason I haven't been here on the blog this week is because I've been at RT Booklovers Conference, this year held in Kansas City. As many of you know, I live here, and I decided to attend because my budget to support THE OBVIOUS GAME is near nothing, and an authors' conference in my hometown is a benefit that fell in my lap. So I've taken almost a week off, and I went.

Today I met up with Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat, my new friend and fellow castmate of the upcoming Kansas City Listen to Your Mother Show (I'll be giving away two free tickets starting Monday, stay tuned if you're local). I had to leave the conference for a few hours to attend the funeral of a dear friend's mother, who unexpectedly died on the operating table last week. When I returned, I asked Jen where she was. She told me she was going to listen to a panel on craft by a man I'd never heard of, David Morrell, who writes a number of things, including Rambo. I have almost zero interest in thrillers or Rambo, but David Morrell changed my life.

---

In an extremely intense hour, he described what it is that makes writers stand out from the noise. How we find our own distinct voice. And that is, according to Morrell, to ask ourselves which stories only we can write.

As Morrell described his childhood, my heart went out to him, as it does to anyone who has a rough childhood. Childhood should be a magic time, and despite my mother's cancer when I was a child, my childhood was good. I was loved, and I knew it. Morrell didn't have quite as idyllic of an experience, but he realized as an adult that a series of events had made him the writer he was, and he said every writer is driven by the unique set of events that shaped that individual, and as such each of us can only tell the stories we individually were set on earth to tell.

Then he talked about where the stories come from: daydreams. He said he had one student who didn't understand daydreams, then he said the thing that blew me away. He said: I don't believe everyone has them. 

I have been stalking other authors all my life, before I myself became one. Many authors talk about their characters deciding to do this or that, and I didn't understand until I got deep into THE OBVIOUS GAME. There were several scenes that came to me fully formed, often while I was doing something else -- showering or driving or making dinner, and they did actually come to me as daydreams. I saw them. They were usually rooted in something that happened to me at some point in life that made me question the human condition, and it was always something I was fascinated by and wanted to talk about. It has never occurred to me before that not everyone has them. 

Do you have them?

He went on to talk about sitting down at the beginning of a writing project to ask yourself why you are undertaking such a thankless task. Why do you do it? What do you hope to learn from it? He said it wouldn't make us famous, but it would make us fulfilled. I understood. THE OBVIOUS GAME may never become a bestseller or win any awards, but reading the emails I've received since writing it and reading the reviews of people who wrote they did finally understand the psychology of anorexia after reading my book has been intensely fulfilling to me. I can honestly say I don't care if THE OBVIOUS GAME is a financial success, because people whom I have never met have read it and said they understood. I am fulfilled.

---

As I work on my new novel, THE BIRTHRIGHT OF PARKER CLEAVES, I'm interested in talking about power. Morrell said each of us is guided by a primary emotion. He writes thrillers: His primary emotion is fear. As I sat there listening, I realized my primary emotion is frustrated longing, and that emotion has always guided my writing. THE OBVIOUS GAME at its center is a novel about wanting to be different physically than what it is scientifically possible to be, if one is to be healthy. PARKER CLEAVES is about wanting to be more powerful than you are ready to be. What happens when you're not ready for the power that you desire? I'm extremely interested in people's motivations, in my own motivation. I undertake an extremely thankless task in writing. Why the hell do I do it?

Because I have daydreams.

And I think, somehow, that you need to know about them.

Is it narcissism? Maybe. But it's there, and it itches.

I have to tell you about it. 

---

Morrell talked about being ostracized locally for some of his writing. He said in order to write our truths, sometimes we have to be willing to go outside of peer pressure to be "normal." I thought about my tattoo, the "now" on my left arm that is pretty prominently displayed. I can almost tell if I will be friends with someone or not by how they respond to my tattoo. It's so a part of me that I forget it is there, but this weekend at the writers conference, many authors have grabbed my arm and stared at my tattoo and understood. I say to them, it is my watch. I have anxiety disorder. I am trying to live in the now. I spend too much time worrying about the past or the future. Unless I'm being eaten by a tiger, the now is usually ... perfectly fine.

But the anxiety is still there. It doesn't go away. It's a part of who I am. 

---

When I was a new mother living in a house built in 1920, I worried about the large holes in the antique grates. I had intrusive thoughts about snakes climbing up through the leaky stone basement to get my baby. I worried day and night about the nonexistent snakes.

Somewhere, there is a story there.

When I was 17, I developed an eating disorder, and that story became THE OBVIOUS GAME.

I have spent my entire career trying to get institutional power I've never been given. From that frustration has grown the seeds of THE  BIRTHRIGHT OF PARKER CLEAVES.

Morrell said something today that blew my mind. He said: "As writers we evolve and use our work to be the autobiographies of our souls."

And that is when I knew regardless of whether my work ever becomes financially successful, I must keep writing my stories. And it's why I can't write what I myself haven't experienced. If I tried, it wouldn't be the autobiography of my soul. And that novel wouldn't be a novel that only Rita Arens can write, as I feel THE OBVIOUS GAME was so personal it was a novel that only Rita Arens could write. There are plenty of writers out there who have written anorexia novels, and there were a few prominent editors who passed up on TOG because they already had an anorexia novel in their lists, but my book was my book because it was a book only I could write. 

Morrell said to have a career in writing, you must want it more than life itself. This probably sounds very dramatic.

To people who don't have daydreams. To people who don't see stories when they're stopped at stoplights.

The flipside of intrusive thoughts about snakes in grates is stories that come in a flash. The flipside to religiously counting calories, for me, has been religiously recording sentences that have changed my life.

I want to write the autobiography of my soul to remain when I am gone. I want to be more than an abandoned Facebook account forty years from now. I agree with Morrell: I couldn't write another anorexia novel, because I'm a different person now than I was when I started THE OBVIOUS GAME. I don't think you can step in the same river twice. 

Now I'm interested in something new -- and to stay interested is to stay interesting. 

Do you daydream?

If you need a reset to your day, take four minutes and watch this completely bizarre but somehow satisfying video.

My Recurring Dream from André Chocron // Frokost Film on Vimeo.

---

Today is THE OBVIOUS GAME's official pub date, which means mostly you can now buy it in ebook form. Cheaper! Faster! Or you can just try to win it.

• My publisher is giving away two paperbacks and 5 ebooks.
• My friend Alice is giving away a paper copy with a signed bookplate.

If you do end up reading it, writerly karma comes your way when you write reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. I write them, too. One can never have too much good karma.

DJ Nibbles loves YA

Recently I heard from Pauline Campos at Girl Body Pride. Pauline's been doing amazing things out on the Interwebs for years now, and I was delighted to hear she put together an anthology that is now available at Smashwords called Strong Like Butterfly: An Anthology.

Enter coupon code CW24A on Smashwords for 25% off the cover price through Feb. 13.

I'm always interested in helping out a fellow anthologist. However, I'm even MORE excited about this anthology (for which I was not paid to promote) because it's filled with beautiful essays (some of which are written by my friends) and because it's all about learning to love the way you look, a concept quite close to my own heart. Here is Pauline's post about the book.

My favorite line from the anthology is by H.C. Palmquist: "For, in the words of one of my dear friends, yesterday's scars are today's armor."

Editor: Pauline Campos

Contributors: Lissa Rankin, Therese Walsh, Mercedes Yardley, Leslie Marinelli, JessiSanfillippo, Carol Cain, Jeanne V. Bowerman, Abigail Green, LeslieMarinelli, Sue O'Lear, Elan "Schmutzie" Morgan, Kim Tracy Prince,Heather Palmquist, Shoshana Rachel, and Alexandra Rosas.

And Pauline is doing fun stuff in conjunction with her book's launch. Here are her notes:

Follow along for updates on the Facebook Fan page, Twitter, Google +,and Pinterest for surprise contests and giveaways, including afree Strong Like Butterfly exclusive cuff braceletdesigned by Berkey Designs, similar to the Girl Body Pride bracelet, which benefits theNational Eating Disorder Association with each sale.
 
Buy the ebookand contact me via email at girlbodypride@gmail.comwith your name and site URL. As a thank you for supporting the site's goal helpwomen learn to see themselves as beautiful in their own right, and mostimportantly, love themselves as they are, your name and URL will be posted onthe Supporters of GBP tab on www.girlbodypride.com!

I am giving away a copy of Strong Like Butterfly and as well as a signed copy of contributor Mercedes Yardley's BeautifulSorrows or WinterWonders (your choice)! To register, just leave a comment. You may enter as many times as you want. I'll close the comments and select a winner at 5 pm on Friday, February 1.

I'm so excited to show you the cover for my young adult novel, THE OBVIOUS GAME, which will be published on February 7, 2013, two days after my thirty-ninth birthday.

Those of you who have been reading me for a while know what a labor of love this book was. While there was an awful lot of pain and sweat I didn't write about, I think you saw enough to know there were many days I didn't know if this would ever happen and many days when I really, really wanted to just throw down.

I'm glad I didn't. Not only is this book finally finding its way into the world, my publisher has generously offered to donate a portion of the proceeds of the book (I don't know how much yet) to the Eating DisorderFoundation, which was recommended by my friends at the Eating Recovery Center in Denver. It's my greatest hope that this novel will not only be worthwhile as a novel but will also help parents and families understand and feel compassion for someone suffering from an eating disorder and offer hope for a full recovery to those who are in the grip of it. UPDATED 1/14/2013: My publisher has informed me they have been unable to get in contact with the charity and are putting this plan on hold until they can hammer out details.

This novel was so much harder than SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK was, and I thought that was really hard. But the novel was so much more personal and so much a combination of craft that I had to learn on the job and inspiration and revisions and rejection and more revisions and hours I could've spent doing something else. I know a lot of writers talk about the pain of the writing process. For me, there is actually never a blank page because I don't sit down to write without a lot of couch time first in which I figure out what I want to say and visualize the scenes in my head. So I guess maybe I'm "writing" when I'm not writing, but that works for me, because I have so little writing time (as does everyone -- how many novelists don't have day jobs?) I have to be getting thousands of words out every time I schedule a 9-midnight with myself after my daughter goes to bed. Usually on Mondays. I seem to be more tolerant of flogging myself on Mondays, not sure why.

But I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it. I love it. I feel energized by it. I love thinking about what I'm going to write next. This is fun for me. Otherwise, I would never put myself through the rejection.

If you're working on a novel, take heart -- everyone feels the way you do on your darkest day sometimes.

“Everyone trusted me backthen. Good old, dependable Diana. Which is why most people didn’t notice atfirst.”

Praise for The Obvious Game:

"Lovely, evocative, painful and joyful all  in one ... much like high school." -- Jenny Lawson, author of LET'S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED

“I couldn’t put down THEOBVIOUS GAME. Arens perfectly captures the hunger, pain and uncertainty ofadolescence.” -- Ann Napolitano, author of A GOOD HARD LOOK and WITHIN ARM'S REACH

"THE OBVIOUS GAME is afearless, honest, and intense look into the psychology of anorexia. Thecharacters—especially Diana--are so natural and emotionally authentic thatyou’ll find yourself yelling at the page even as you’re compelled to turnit." -- Coert Voorhees, author of LUCKY FOOLS and THE BROTHERS TORRES

"Let’s be clear aboutone thing: there’s nothing obvious about THE OBVIOUS GAME. Arens has written amoving, sometimes heart-breaking story about one girl’s attempt to control theuncontrollable. You can’t help but relate to Diana and her struggles as youdelve into this gem of a novel." -- Risa Green, author of THE SECRET SOCIETY OFTHE PINK CRYSTAL BALL

"THE OBVIOUS GAME explores the chasms between conformityand independence, faith and fear, discoveries and secrets, first times and lastchances, hunger and satisfaction. The tortured teenage experience is capturedtriumphantly within the pages of this unflinching, yet utterly relatable,novel. - Erica Rivera, author of INSATIABLE: A YOUNG MOTHER’S STRUGGLE WITHANOREXIA 

Book Information:

Publisher: InkspellPublishing

Release Date: Feb 7th, 2013

ISBN: 978-0-9856562-7-0(ebook), 978-0-9856562-8-7 (Paperback)

Paperback Price: $13.99

Kindle: $4.99

To be available at all majoronline outlets: Amazon, B&N, The Book Depository

Pre-order now at InkspellPublishing Website at a special discount of 30% on both paperback andebook!

Website/blog: http://www.surrenderdorothyblog.com or http://www.ritaarens.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ritaarens

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rita.arens

BlogHer: http://www.blogher.com/member/rita-arens

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=4048495&trk=tab_pro

Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/ritajarens/

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002KRLEHE

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1371209.Rita_Arens

And here's a short excerpt!

---

Prologue

1987

When we were in seventh grade,Amanda and I snuck out of her house one foggy Saturday night to meet herboyfriend, Matt. We spent more time planning our escape than we did actually conductingit.

We’d made a list while pretendingto do our homework:

Wrap flashlights with blackelectrical tape. (check)

Make fake bodies out of pillowsto hide in our sleeping bags. (check)

Booby-trap her bedroom door withstring across the threshold so we could see if her mom had tried to check onus. (check)

Assemble all-black outfits,complete with stocking caps, so we would blend in with the shadows as wewalked. (check)

Arrange the rendezvous pointahead of time with Matt: the third-grade playground at the elementary school.(check)

It wasn’t until we’d successfullyshimmied down the fence, jogged the four blocks up the street, and seen Mattsitting there alone on the seesaw that I realized I had nothing at all to dowhile they giggled and kissed. I’d been so caught up in the planning portion ofour escape that I didn’t notice how pathetic my part in it seemed.

I twirled on the swings acrossthe playground and out of view, once again pretending to be totally cool withit. The thing was, though, I wasn’t cool with it. I felt about as important asthe guy who wrote the cooking instructions for Pop-Tarts.

We probably would’ve stayed therefor hours if I hadn’t finally strode over to the jungle gym, coughing andkicking rocks as I went. Amanda poked her head out.

“What’s up, Diana?”

“Can we go soon? I forgot tobring a book.”

Her expectant smile turned sour. “Okay,”she finally said, disappearing in the darkness. “Just five more minutes.”

I wandered to the edge of theplayground, thought about turning back on my own, letting her get caught outthere by herself. But I wouldn’t. That’s what friends are for. She knew it. Iknew it.

Everyone trusted me. Good olddependable Diana. Which was why most people didn’t notice at first that I wasin trouble.

---

It's really happening! Huzzah! Let's bring out DJ Nibbles.