Parents always look distraught when their babe grabs a toy out of another babe’s hand, or exercises a death grip on an object when it is suggested that they share. But parents ought not to be so hard on themselves and think that their babe is destined to be greedy; self-centeredness is a natural stage of development and it takes time to learn what sharing is all about.

Dr. Cathryn Tobin’s article “Sharing: 14 Ways to Get Your Child to Play Fair” offers helpful guidance. She outlines common mistakes made when attempting to teach kids to share, offering insights into the long-term implications of well meant parental actions such as forcing a child to share or prying a toy out of a child’s hands. She then offers concrete actions to teach kids to share, including ways to model good behavior for your babe while understanding their developmental limits.

Dr. Tobin is the author of the well-rated book The Parent's Problem Solver: Smart Solutions for Everyday Discipline Dilemmas and Behavioral Problems ($13.95 at Amazon).

*Note: If you like Rush Limbaugh, stop reading before I piss you off. I'll be back with more potty training tomorrow.*

I've been watching some of the coverage of Israel v. Hezbollah.  Here's a sample story - note the Lebanese woman with the crying baby in the sidebar.  But yet, here's some coverage of the U.S. bombing in Iraq...and look at the photo.  Militant people in black holding up a picture of an evil-looking John Travolta impersonator.  Both stories are about bombing, but isn't the photo what we really remember?  Think of the 9/11 coverage...do you remember the stories or the pictures?

I don't know enough about the politics of Israel and Hezbollah to know what's really going on there.  I do think it's unfortunate Israel has bombed some cars containing fleeing families.  I also think it's unfortunate that my country has bombed, well, a lot lot LOT of innocent people over the past few, oh, centuries.  It all makes me want to throw up, because I am totally a dove when it comes to war. I don't like the fighting anywhere, but really, who does?  I mean, besides W., Rumsfeld and and Captain Hook?

What I do expect to see is even media coverage, especially from the photo editors.  I'm willing to bet there are crying Israeli, Iraqi and American mommies out there, too.  Don't demonize the enemy to the point we neglect to show the faces of innocent people, some of who are related to our own Iraqi-American citizens.  I don't necessarily want to see bloody stumps every time I turn on the news, but come on, medialand, don't give me another round of War brought to you by Xbox.  If we believe strongly enough in this war (I don't, but maybe "we" do, or at least our elected officials do) to engage in it, then we should be prepared to see all of its effects.  And if we're not, we should cover other countries' wars with the same detached embarrassment that we cover our own.

Pregnancy obviously is a natural, necessary part of the circle of life, but things can get complicated and confusing when you have to think about pregnancy in the context of the workplace. Click here for an informative Q & A on pregnancy and employment, including topics such as interviewing when pregnant, breaking the news to your boss, maternity benefits, and discrimination.

Miracles do happen. Just ask my mama friend Paige, whose otherwise peaceful 9-week old babe was waking every couple of hours through the night. Pediatric suggestions to slightly elevate the babe or administer Maalox (in case the problem was reflux) were attempted in vain. Things were getting ugly.

Then one of Paige’s mama friends turned her on to the Amazing Miracle Blanket. No joke. This extra long 100% cotton knit swaddling blanket resulted in an immediate result of 9 straight hours of sleep. Basically, while we all experience sleep-disturbing twitches through the night (I have been known to knee my husband in the kidney), infants haven’t yet learned to soothe themselves back to sleep. Swaddling helps prevent the big twitches that lead to night waking while creating a cozy, womb-like environment.

Machine washable and dryable, the blanket retails for $26.95 at Amazon (green, undyed natural, blue), or more colors are available for $29.95 at BabyCenter. Locally, Paige picked hers up at Isis Maternity.

Among taboo mama topics is that of how a mama feels about her maternity leave. Polarized responses such as “I’m so sad for my leave to end!” and “I can’t wait to get back to work!” are common.

Regardless of how you feel during leave time, it’s probably safe to say that all mamas feel some degree of guilt if and when they return to work. A Mayo Clinic article offers some helpful tips on how to ease transition, cope with guilt, and continue to breastfeed. An article from U. Michigan Medical also offers tips on returning to work and description of different types of child-care options.
Among the logistical issues, I suggest working out child-care and pumping arrangements as soon possible. The child-care situation is a major stressor; there just doesn’t seem to be enough supply for the demand. Get your name on wait lists as soon as you can and pursue other options in the meanwhile. And don’t be afraid to ask for space to pump. Take the Mayo Clinic advice that you should never accept to pump somewhere you wouldn’t eat your lunch to heart (I pumped in a bathroom once, and believe me, I will never do that again!).

Among the personal issues, I think the most sanity preserving measures include: self care, not being afraid to ask for help, and letting less important matters slide. The little chores can wait; or if you have the resources, you can rationalize that a sane and happy mama is worth the price of an occasional visit from a housecleaning service.

It’s tough out there for papas too. So I was really glad to see that Postpartum Support International has a section for fathers, including resources on helping partners through postpartum depression, coping with new fatherhood, and general parenting from the papas’ perspective.

Finished trolling around Faneuil Hall and the North End and need to take a load off? Then head over to the Christopher Columbus Waterfront Park on Atlantic Avenue in Boston. Not only is the harbor view and landscaping a relaxing retreat for adults, but your babe will love the playground, green space, and spray fountain.

Christopher Columbus Waterfront Park, Tel: 617-635-4505

Toddlers are like raccoons. They love shiny objects. And for some reason they really love shiny objects with sharp edges.

One day at breakfast I had a brilliant mama moment when the babe was begging to have her own knife. I really appreciate that toddlers want to be independent so if she wanted to spread her own jam, so be it. I remembered our cute little spreaders from Crate & Barrel; the spreader (shown, left) from the Nordic Demi Utensils set is perfect for little hands. Plus it’s shiny and free of sharp edges but still looks like a real knife (my babe will not tolerate condescension). These utensils are $1.95 each and are dishwasher-safe.

While I love trundling around little boutiques on foot, sometimes one stop shopping is the way to go. Boston area mama Jeniphir Taylor-McIntire, a sales consultant for Natural Family Boutique, recently pointed me to her online store.

Natural Family Boutique offers eco-friendly products to support families from conception to weaning. The site offers Haba toys (my favorite toy line, period!) and apparel for babes, indulgent jewelry, spa, and home items for mamas, and lots of products for new parents (breastfeeding, baby care, and cloth diapering supplies, pregnancy, birth and postpartum products, books & CDs, slings). The site also offers resource material on breastfeeding, pregnancy and birth, nutrition, parenting, natural living, and activism.

Host a mama’s night out NFB party with Jenipher and get discounts and freebies along the way. Send Jenipher an email to find out more.

UPDATE 8/15/07: Sadly, Natural Family Boutique has closed its virtual doors. Please visit our category links to the left for more fabulous toy, gear, and pregnancy resources.